Offspring of the Redeemed
by arrow maker
Summary: Anotalex and Nathyrra face their newest challenge; parenting.
1. Default Chapter

m: Ok, I haven't finished IW but I wanna write this really badly. Also, I'm planning a sequel to FPK; I just need a break from all the drama for awhile. Disclaimer: The only characters I claim ownership over are Anotalex Jr. and Sr., Anathyrra, and Snuggles among others.

Chapter One

Nathyrra sat at her kitchen table. She sighed. _How is Ano gonna take the news? _At the moment Ano was in town, purchasing some spell scrolls or something like that. The drow observed her new home. It had been built on the ashes of Ano's childhood house, also the place of Talexia's death. The couple had chosen to live here mostly because Ano was well known in his village and would be accepted despite his past. He had never tried to take his village by force when he was a conqueror and would be treated as an equal.

Nathyrra picked up the sound of a door opening. Snuggles, her new terrier familiar, heard it as well and ran to the door. Ano entered the room, bending down to pet Snuggles before walking over to Nathyrra. "Hey, kitten." He leaned down and kissed her.

"Ano…I have something to tell you."

He smiled and sat down, leaning back in his chair on two legs.

"I wouldn't sit like that. It's not safe." She warned him.

"I'll be fine. How bad can the news be?"

"Well, it's not exactly bad news. More like surprising…and somewhat terrifying."

"Spit it out, Nat."

"Ano…I'm pregnant."

CRASH!

Ano fell backwards off his chair. Nathyrra looked over to see if he was hurt. The dragon disciple stood up and brushed himself off. "I…I'm gonna be a dad?"

"Yes."

He grinned and pulled her into his arms. "This is great news! We'll get ready right away! I'll furnish a baby room, buy a year's supply of diapers, ask Aunt Jaheira and Aunt Imoen what I need to know…"

She raised an eyebrow. "You're not scared?"

"I'm terrified beyond belief." He said grinning. Nathyrra thought he had lost his mind. Ano continued, "Family is a concept that I haven't even begun to grasp."

"I feel the same way."

He circled her waist. "We'll just have to figure it out on own, huh?" he asked playfully. She laughed and pressed a light kiss to his lips.

-

The next morning, Nathyrra slowly opened her eyes. The minute she did, her stomach started churning violently. She got up so fast that she accidentally pushed her husband out of their bed, and ran into the privy.

Ano shook his head and stood up. He could hear his wife retching outside the door. "Are you okay?" he asked outside the entrance. No response. "Nat?" Ano pushed the door open.

Nathyrra looked up momentarily to see Ano before returning to her puking. The man held his wife's head as she vomited. When finished, she wiped her mouth and looked up at Ano. A concerned expression dotted his face, "Feel better?"

She smiled weakly and nodded.

-

Five months later; Imoen, Ano, and Nat were discussing names. They had asked Jaheira not to tell them whether or not it was a boy or girl for they wished to be surprised.

"If it's a girl then we should name her Vasenna." said Nathyrra as she took a bite of what was most likely the sixth slice of pie that she had eaten that day.

"I think we should name her Talexia."

"Vasenna."

"Talexia."

"Vasenna."

"Talexia."

As Imoen watched the two argue, she had a sudden flashback.

_Anomen and Talexia were arguing over names. Jaheira had recently told them that there child was to be a boy so they both had names in mind. "I think that we should name him Cor after my father." said Anomen. "Well I think we should name him Gorion." said Talexia. "Cor." said Anomen. "Gorion." replied Talexia. "Cor!" shouted Anomen. "Gorion!" shouted Talexia. "Hey Talexia, calm down before you give birth to 'Corion' right now." said Imoen as she walked over. She looked at them both. "Why don't you name him Anotalex after both of you?" she asked. "We'll think on it" they both said._

"Talexia!"

"VASENNA!"

"Chill out, Nat." Imoen commanded. Nathyrra scowled and took another bite. Imoen shook her head. "You know what, Anomen and Talexia did the same thing when Ano was born. Talexia wanted to name him 'Gorion' and Anomen wanted to name him 'Cor'."

"I am so glad he didn't." Ano commented.

"So anyway, I suggested that they name Ano after themselves, 'Anotalex'. If you have a girl you two can name her 'Anathyrra'. If you have a boy you can name him 'Anotalex Junior' or AJ, for short."

"That's sadistic." Nathyrra said flatly.

Ano grinned. "Excellent! We can be sadists, like my parents!"

"Uh-huh." Nathyrra said skeptically.

-

Five months later, Nathyrra, Jaheira, and Imoen sat in the kitchen. Ano was away once more. Imoen grinned. "How much longer, Nat?"

"Anytime now."

Jaheira spoke, "Have you decided who will go into the delivery room with you?"

"Well, I assume you two will come with me," Nathyrra started. They nodded. The drow continued, "And Ano, of course."

"Are you sure, Nathyrra? Men are useless in a delivery room?" Jaheira told her.

"How so?"

"Anomen passed out when Talexia went into labor." said the druid.

"Fell right on the floor." Imoen added.

Jaheira shook her head. "Enough of this. Why don't we practice telling those that are around you that you're going into labor."

Nathyrra's eyes widened. "I think the baby's coming."

"Wow! That was good." said Imoen.

"No, I think the baby really IS coming!"

Jaheira's eyes widened. "Let's go." She and Imoen started leading her towards the door. Jaheira turned around towards Snuggles. As a druid, she knew that he would understand her if she spoke to him. "Snuggles! Go to the town and find Anotalex!"

Snuggles wagged his tail and ran out the door.

-

"Hmmm…What do you think of this?" Ano held up a little yellow dress.

"I don't think it'll fit you, Ano." Drak informed him.

Ano glared at the dragon. "Not for me, for the baby!"

"Maybe we should try a different store."

Ano thoughtfully tugged at his goatee. "Perhaps you're right."

Suddenly, a little terrier ran up to the dragon disciple. It was Snuggles. Ano stared at him. "Snuggles, what are you doing here?"

The dog started barking at him. Ano blinked in confusion. Snuggles started tugging on his pants leg.

"Ah! Snuggles! Quit that!" Ano shouted.

Snuggles growled and started barking at Drak. Drak nodded. "Uh huh. Uh huh." He turned towards Anotalex. "Congrats, Ano. You're gonna be a dad."

Ano's eyes went as dinner plates and tore off down the street.

-

"Ow! Okay, Nat. I love you as a niece but you are killing my hand!" Imoen exclaimed. Nathyrra had been using Imoen's hand as a squeezie. Nathyrra relaxed her grip. "Sorry."

Ano ran into the room. "Am I late?" he asked, panting.

"It's almost time." said Jaheira.

Nathyrra let out a cry of pain. The doctor ran over. Ano watched the process with growing anxiety. It was too much and he fell on the floor, unconscious. Jaheira looked at him. "I told you men were useless in a delivery room." She said to Nathyrra.

Nathyrra didn't answer. Instead she let out another scream of pain.

"Come on! One more push!" cried the doctor.

Drak stared in growing fascination. "Cool. I wish T3 or Deekin were here. That way we could have pictures!"

Nathyrra shot him a death glare.

-

Ano frowned and opened his eyes. "What happened?"

"You passed out, you little pansy." Drak explained.

Ano ignored the jibe and looked at his wife. She appeared tired but happy, holding two bundles in her arms.

"Twins?" asked Ano.

She nodded. "Would you like to see them?"

"Of course." He took the two infants in his arms and looked them over. They were twins, a boy and a girl. They had inherited their mother's dark blue eyes and their father's tan complexion. They had stumps on their backs, the beginnings of dragon wings. The boy sneezed, his eyes momentarily turning crimson before returning to their natural blue.

"What are their names?" asked Ano.

"Anathyrra and Anotalex Junior. Ana and AJ for short." Nathyrra said.

Ano smiled at her. She smiled back. He then grinned at his offspring. "They're PERFECT!" He announced brightly. Nathyrra arched an eyebrow at her husband's enthusiastic declaration but said nothing.

-

Several weeks later, Jaheira was teaching Ano more about caring for his children. Nathyrra watched with curious interest as Jaheira taught. "Not like that, you idiot! Hold the bottle at an angle." Jaheira ordered. Ano scowled and did as he was told. When finished, Ano picked up the child as he had seen Nathyrra do, patting Ana on the back. Ano was shocked by her burp, unpleasantly surprised when he felt dampness spread on his back.

Seeing her husband's face, Nathyrra laughed until she cried. Jaheira gave Ano a wet cloth, fighting to keep her face straight. "Put a clean rag down first. They spit up when they burp, and cry if they're not." she told him. Ano frowned and went to change.

-

Nathyrra walked into her bedroom. Ano was already asleep, exhausted. She lay down next to him and closed her eyes. They were rudely shaken awake by the sound of a child crying, soon followed by the cries of their sibling.

She sighed. "I'll go."

"No I will." Ano said. "I'm going to be Super-dad!"

She cocked an eyebrow. "Super-dad?" _he must be delirious with sleep loss._

He stood up and pumped his fist in the air. "YES! Super-dad! Up, up, and away-" He stopped abruptly and fell on the floor, snoring.

Nathyrra shook her head. "Never send a man to do a woman's job." She noted before leaving.

-

Thirty minutes later, Nathyrra slipped back into her room. Ano was still asleep on the floor, drooling slightly. The drow considered waking him up but decided against it and went to sleep.


	2. Chapter Two

m: 'Come What May' belongs to whoever sung in the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor or something like that.

Chapter Two

"Ano!" cried a cheerful AJ as his father entered the room. Nathyrra smiled and watched as AJ ran over to Ano. The two year old twins had recently learned how to walk and speak. Ano grinned and picked up his son. "Hey, buddy."

"Ano!"

"No, AJ. That's what grownups call me. To you, I'm dad."

"Da…da…Dano!"

Ano blinked. "Right." He put Ano down and walked over to Nathyrra. His wife smiled and handed Ana to him. "Mommy." she said a bit mournfully. Ano scowled, feeling a bit rejected.

Nathyrra laughed at his expression. Ano shook his head. "Can you say, 'Daddy'?"

"Mommy's slave."

"_What?_"

She pointed at him. "Mommy's slave."

Ano frowned and handed his daughter to a laughing Nathyrra. "Where did she learn that? And where did AJ learn to call me Ano?"

"Well, Drak was here the other day…"

"I'm going to kill him."

"Drak go bye-bye." commented AJ.

-

Several days later, the family sat inside Ano and Nat's room. Joragin and Sharwyn's wedding would take place later that day and the parents were trying to get their children prepared for the ceremony. "Anathyrra Vasenna Derlyn, sit still." snapped Nathyrra. Ana scowled and crossed her arms over her chest as her mother ran a brush through the child's hair.

"Ano, fix AJ's hair."

"Huh?"

"Put a part in the middle of his head. Why is it spiked anyway?" she asked rhetorically. Ano took a comb and fixed AJ's light brown hair.

-

The family walked. AJ frowned and looked at his father. "Ano, this sucks. Let's go."

"I told you not to use that word. Call me daddy."

"Ano." he said a mocking tone. Ano glared at him. Ana and Nat rolled their eyes. Nathyrra, Ana, and AJ sat in one of the isles while Ano took his place as the best man. The music began to play.

"Here comes the bride, all fat and wide. Here comes the groom, skinny as a broom…" Ana muttered. She was silenced by a harsh look from Nathyrra.

Everyone turned around and looked as Sharwyn walked down the isle, Daelan at her side. Joragin smiled as she approached. She smiled back and turned to face the priest. The man began to speak, "We are gathered her today to witness the joining of Joragin and Sharwyn in holy matrimony." He continued with the traditional speech.

"…if anyone objects speak now or forever hold your peace."

A devious grin crept over AJ's face. He started to say something but was quickly silenced by his mother's hand over his mouth.

"…You may now kiss the bride." the priest commanded. Joragin bent down and pressed a kiss to Sharwyn's lips.

-

At the reception, the family sat at a table. Ana and AJ had abandoned their seats, preferring to sit on their parents laps. Ano was trying to convince Ana to eat broccoli. "Come on, Ana. It's good for you."

"No."

"Please, precious?"

"No."

"If you don't then you won't grow up to be big and strong."

"Shut up, stupid male."

"What?"

"Mommy says it to you all the time."

"That's different. Eat your broccoli."

"No!" She cried. Before Ano could blink, she used her newly discovered divine magic to dump the contents of Ano's water glass on his head. Ano stared at her in shock. "You are in so much trouble when we get home, Anathyrra." he declared. Ana merely stuck he tongue out at him and shifted her position, deliberating sticking her wings right in Ano's face. Nathyrra turned her head to hide her snickering.

Drak flew over. "Hey."

"DRAK!" the twins cried in unison. They ran over to the dragon and grabbed him out of the air in a bone crushing hug. Drak flapped his wings wildly to escape the hug of death. "Ah! Alright! Alright! It's good to see you too kiddos."

"I wanna play a game!" proclaimed AJ.

"Play a game with us, Drak!" ordered Ana.

"No. I'm off duty."

"Pleeeeease?" they whined simultaneously.

Drak sighed. "Fine. Go hide somewhere on the ceiling. I'll count to one million and come find you."

They nodded vigorously and ran up the wall. Nathyrra glared at the dragon. "Drak, you know I hate it when you tell them to walk on walls. It means that I can't get to them if they've misbehaved."

"But I can so we're good." Ano stated.

Joragin sat down across from his brother. Ano grinned. "Hey, Jor. Where's my new sister-in-law?"

"She's talking to Linu and Tomi." He replied. "Where are my niece and nephew?"

"Uncle Jor!" cried two voices. Joragin looked up at the ceiling. "There they are." He said, chuckling. The twins jumped down, landing on their feet with the grace of a cat and running to their uncle.

"Hey there, twins." He said affectionately. "What have you been up to?"

"We figured out how to walk up walls like Dad!" announced AJ.

"So I see." said Joragin.

"And I used my magic to pour water all over my dad." Ana informed him. Ano nodded, his smile a bit forced. Joragin sniggered at his brother.

"There you are! I've been looking all over for you, Jor." said Sharwyn as she approached. He gave her a sheepish grin. "Sorry, Shar."

"Don't worry, Jor. You can make it up to her on the honeymoon." said Ano, winking at the couple. Joragin and Sharwyn gave him a half-hearted glare.

"How?" asked Ana.

Ano reddened a bit. "Err…"

"Is he gonna make her cookies?" asked AJ innocently.

"Well…maybe not in the way that you're thinking…"

"How else do you make cookies?" demanded Ana.

Anotalex gave Nathyrra a pleading look. She shook her head. "You got yourself in this mess. Get out of it on your own."

Ano sighed. "I'll tell you when you're older."

"But-"

"No buts."

"You have to give them credit, Ano. They made you blush." said Joragin, smirking.

Ano glared at him. "I'm gonna get you back for that…"

-

Ano walked onto the stage. "Hello everyone. I'm Anotalex Derlyn, also known as Joragin's older brother."

The guests looked at him. Ano continued, "I'm sure you're all wondering the same thing so I'm going to tell you before I get started. The reason I'm wet is because of my lovely daughter, Ana. Thank you for pouring that water glass on me, Sweetie."

The audience chuckled.

"Anyway, I've noticed that at wedding the father of the bride sometimes comes up and tells a long, pointless, story but since he's 'unavailable' I suppose I'll have to tell the story."

He took a breath and continued, "This morning when I got up, I walked into the bathroom as usual. I found my toothbrush but saw that my toothpaste was missing. No big deal though, I could just take some from my kids' room. So, I brush my teeth and reach towards the place where I keep my comb only to finds out that it's missing too. I start walking around I accidentally step on something. I let out a yelp, which wakes my up my wife. In truth, I love her but she's not a morning person." He put on a mocking voice. " 'Anotalex! You imbecile! I am trying to sleep. If you're gonna yelp like a little girl do it in another room!' she yelled before going back to sleep."

Nathyrra raised an eyebrow, remembering that she had called him something far worse than 'imbecile'. The drow decided that her husband substituted the word due to the fact that there were children in the room.

"It turns out that what I stepped on was my comb. Grumbling, I brushed my hair. Then I reached for my razor only to discover that like my comb and toothpaste, it was missing. My dog trots into the room, my razor in his mouth. I'm getting annoyed now, and I took it away from. That was probably a tactical error on my part, because later that day he took a whiz on my bed. Not on my wife's side, _my_ side."

The audience laughed.

"I then realized that I kept loosing thing and even though my daughter has the potential to be a fantastic healer, I was afraid to use the bathroom."

The audience burst out laughing. Nathyrra shook her head, quite used to her husband's antics. Ana blinked. "I don't get it. What does magic have to do with Dad going potty?"

"Don't worry about it." said Nathyrra. She wasn't about to tell her daughter that Ano was afraid that he would lose a piece of his anatomy.

Ano shook his head. "Anyway, I'm rambling…which was probably what I was supposed to do but…never mind. With out further ado, I'd like to ask our new married couple to come on stage and show off their skills as bards." He gestured to the piano. "Come here and sing, Jor and Shar!"

The guests cheered, encouraging them to go up on stage. Joragin shrugged and stood up. Sharwyn took his hand and walked towards the stage. The couple took their places and began a song.

Never knew I could feel like this  
Like I've never seen the sky before  
I want to vanish inside your kiss  
Seasons may change, winter to spring  
But I Love You, until the end of time

Come what may  
Come what may  
I will Love You  
Until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place  
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace  
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste  
It all revolves around you

And there's no mountain too high  
No river too wide  
Sing out this song,  
I'll be there by your side

Storm clouds may gather  
And stars may collide  
But I Love You, I Love You,  
Until the end of time

Come what may, come what may, I will Love You  
The greatest thing you'll ever learn...  
I will Love You, Come what may, Yes, I will Love You  
Come what may, I will Love You, Til my dying day

They stood up and bowed, grinning as the audience applauded.

-

"Well, we'd best be going. My children are asleep on their feet." said Ano, gesturing to the sleepy twins with their heads resting on the table.

"It's fine. Go home and put them to bed." said Joragin.

Linu smiled at the children. "They must be exhausted, the poor dears."

Ano picked up each child and walked towards the door with Nathyrra. "So what did you think of that song?" he asked his wife. Nathyrra shook her head and put a finger to her lips, pointing to her children's pointed ears. Ano nodded with understanding and fell silent. He lasted for a few minutes before speaking again. "But-"

"Be silent, Ano."

"Shut up, Dad." said a sleepy Ana.

"Shut up, stupid male." added AJ.

"What?"

"I just wanted to see how it felt."


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

"Ano, I'm taking the kids to the doctor!" Nathyrra told him. Ano looked up from several blue prints. "Good. You'll be back just in time."

"Anotalex," she pointed at the piles of wood, "You're skill at carpentry is abysmal. Please just buy-"

"Are you saying that I can't make a simple design like this?" he pointed at the prints.

Nathyrra shook her head. "No, go ahead. If you crush your fingers however, that's your problem."

"Don't worry, Nat. Drak won't let me do anything stupid."

"Yes I will." said Drak.

Ano glared at him. "I would ask Joragin to help me if he and Sharwyn weren't so busy."

"Yes, only three months left, right?"

"Yep. Jor said something about naming the baby 'Delilah' if it's a girl."

AJ and Ana walked into the room. Ana stared at her father, who looked rather odd holding a hammer, blueprints, and wearing a shirt that said 'World's Greatest Carpenter' with the words 'Liar' scratched in underneath, courtesy of Drak. "Daddy, what are you doing?"

"Your father's being an idiot." Nathyrra said flatly. In truth, he was attempting to make something for his children but it was meant to be a surprise. Ano scowled but held his tongue.

Nathyrra smiled. "Oh don't sulk, Ano. It's not good for you." she reached up and gave him a kiss.

"Ewwww." chorused the twins.

Nathyrra smirked and ushered the children out the door. "We'll be back in a few hours."

Ano smiled as his family left. He then got back to his work. "Drak, will you help me with this?"

"Do it yourself, jackass."

-

The three walked into the waiting room. After speaking to the receptionist, Nathyrra sat down, picked up a 'Parenting' magazine and occasionally reached out to keep AJ from running up the walls. Ana crawled onto her mother's lap, preventing her from reading her magazine. Despite herself, Nathyrra smiled as Ana started to play with her mother's hair.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Ana?"

"Why am I called 'Anathyrra'?"

"Because it's a combination of 'Anotalex' and 'Nathyrra'."

Ana looked at her. "Why did you and Daddy do that?" she asked puzzled.

"Because your father is a sadist." the drow said flatly.

"What's a sadist?"

"Someone who combines their child's name with their parent's name when they easily could have named her 'Vasenna'." Nathyrra said, a bit bitterly.

"Why is a daddy a sadist?"

"Because his parents were sadists and his grandparents were sadists as well." This was true. Jaheira had told her that Anomen had a sister named 'Moira' after his mother, 'Moirala.'

"Why?"

"Because…they just were."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Why?"

"I never really thought about it."

"Why?"

Nathyrra stared at Ana. "Are you consistently asking 'why' on purpose?"

"Drak told me to before we left."

"I'm going to speak to him when we get home."

"Are you gonna to kill him?"

"No, I'm going to attempt to gouge his eyes out."

"And you gouge his eyes out by putting your thumb on the bridge of his nose and dragging your nail across his eye." Ana recited.

Nathyrra grinned. "Good. You remember what I told you."

The door opened. A balding man stepped out. "Ah! There's the Derlyn family!"

Nathyrra took her children's hands and walked over to him. "Hello, Dr. Rogers."

He smiled. "Let's step into another room, shall we?"

Rogers closed the door behind him. Nathyrra placed both of her children on the large metal table and sat down in a chair. Dr. Rogers began inspecting Ana's ears. "Now what seems to be the problem?"

"Well, Ana's here for the you-know-what's and AJ's here because-" She was cut off by AJ sneezing. A stream of fire shot out of his nose and started a small fire on the doctor's tie. He hurriedly put it out.

"-Of that." Nathyrra finished, wincing a bit.

"I see." he said as he looked at his tie. "Well, in truth it's like a common cold. There's not much I can tell you except to have him get more rest. Oh and buy some protection against fire scrolls."

"I'll do that." Nathyrra said wryly.

"Now then, Ana." He opened the door for a nurse. Ana's eyes widened when she saw that the nurse held a needle in her hand. "Mom…"

"You need your shots, Ana." Nathyrra informed her.

AJ sneezed again, creating a small fire on the floor. The three adults immediately tried to put it out. Ana took advantage of this and ran out of the room.

"Run Ana! RUN!" shouted AJ.

Nathyrra spun around just in time to see her daughter slip out of the room. "Damn it!" she cursed. "Don't repeat that." she ordered AJ before running after her daughter.

Ana ran into the waiting room. She tried to get out of the room but the doorknob was too high for her. She turned around and saw her mother approaching. Thinking quickly, she ran up the wall and stood on the ceiling, safely out of Nathyrra's reach.

"Argh! Anathyrra Vasenna Derlyn! Get down here NOW!" yelled Nathyrra.

"NO!" Ana shot back.

Nathyrra sighed. "Please?"

"No." she said firmly.

"I'm counting…one…two."

"Nope."

"Do you want your father to hear about this?" she waved her hand dramatically. "He'd be so disappointed, his little girl. He'd say 'Ana, how could you let me down like that?' and then Drak would be upset…"

"What about Snuggles?"

Nathyrra blinked. "Err… I'm sure Snuggles would be devastated."

Ana jumped down. "Let's go."

Nathyrra blinked several times before taking her daughter's arm and walking back into the room. Ana spoke to her mother as she walked, "Snuggles would be upset. He told me so."

Nathyrra stopped in her tracks. "He did?"

"Yeah. He tells me lots of stuff."

Nathyrra frowned and continued walking. _Is it possible that she has animal empathy?_

-

Ana scowled and rubbed her arm. AJ laughed and pointed at her, "Ha-ha! Ana got a shot!"

"Shut up, you big sack of dog poop."

"Quit fighting, you two." Nathyrra commanded.

-

Later that night after dinner, Ano spoke to his children, "Time for bed."

"But Daaaaaad…"

"No buts. Besides, I spent all afternoon working on a surprise for you two. It's in your room."

The twins gave each other a brief glance before running towards their room. Two twin beds had been placed in their rooms, replacing the twin's cribs.

"Cool!" they both chorused before running towards them. Ano smiled at his children. Nathyrra raised an eyebrow at her husband. "That doesn't look like your craftsmanship."

"Yes…well… I gave up on building after the fifth blood blister."

Nathyrra shook her head. "Go to bed."

"We don't want to." they whined. "We don't like the beds." Ana said.

"No, you like the nice beds. The very nice very _expensive _beds." said a tired Ano. Ano picked up Ana and tucked her in as Nathyrra did the same with AJ.

"We don't want to."

"Come on." pleaded Ano. He lay down next to Ana. "They're so comfortable…"

"We're not tired."

Nathyrra lay down next to AJ. "You're not?"

"Nope."

"I'm exhausted." said Ano, yawning.

"Could just fall asleep right here…" said Nathyrra as she put her head on the pillow. Within minutes the two parents were asleep.

AJ and Ana looked at each. They pulled the covers closer around their parents and walked out of the room. They made their way down the hall into Nathyrra and Anotalex's room. The twins climbed onto their parent's bed and crawled under the covers.

"Night, Ana."

"Night, AJ."


	4. Chapter Four

m: 'The Sound of Music' belongs to the Sound of Music. 'Cell Block Tango' belongs to the Chicago soundtrack.

Guan: If they weren't clever then they wouldn't be Nat's kids. :P

shadow0015: I'm glad you liked Shar's wedding. More of her will be in this chapter. ;D

Chapter Four

"AJ! Get over here!" cried Nathyrra. Grumbling, AJ walked over to his mother. She bent down and straightened his tie.

"Why do I have to wear a tie?"

"Because it looks cute."

"I don't wanna look cute."

"Too bad. You have to look nice for the reunion."

"Drak says that you only want me to look good so you can rub it in the paladin lady's face that you married dad."

"Her name is Aribeth, AJ. And Drak is full of what Snuggles makes on walks."

"You mean poop?"

"That's a synonym of what I was implying."

"What's a synonym?"

"A word that means the same as another word."

"What word were you thinking of?"

"Never mind that."

Ana walked into the room. "I hate dresses."

Ano entered the room. "I hate tuxedos."

"Deal with it." said Nathyrra flatly.

-

The family entered the room where the reunion was being held. Ano glanced around and saw many familiar faces such as Joragin, Sharwyn, Deekin, Linu, Daelan, Tomi, Jaheira, Haer'Dalis, Imoen, Sarevok, Valen, Aarin Gend, Aribeth, the sleeping man, and many other faces.

-

"If you speak to Sarevok, do not listen to what he says." Nathyrra cautioned Ana. Her daughter nodded. The four-year-old took a few steps towards her great-uncle. Sarevok was sitting in an armchair, reading a newspaper. "Yes?" he asked, not looking up.

Ana stared at him. Sighing, he folded his newspaper. "What do you want, Anathyrra?"

The child grinned. "My mommy says not to listen to a word you say."

Across the room, Nathyrra started choking on her drink. Her excellent sense of hearing had picked up the sound of their conversation. The drow rapidly walked over to her daughter and pulled her away from the man. She gave Sarevok a brilliant smile. "Ah, my daughter doesn't know what she's talking about."

"But-"

"Quiet." Nathyrra hissed. Desperately trying to change the subject she asked, "So…how's the weather?"

"I'm certain if I gave my opinion you would not listen, drow."

"Err…"

"Go away now before you embarrass yourself further."

Nathyrra scowled and ushered her daughter away from the warrior. _I despise him. I complete and utterly loathe him. Loathe. _

-

Ano walked over to Joragin. "Hey, Jor."

"Hey, Ano."

"Uncle Ano!" cried the little girl in Joragin's lap.

Ano grinned. "Hey there, Delilah."

The two-year-old gave him a shy smile before burying her face in Joragin's shirt. Joragin smiled at his daughter and turned to face Ano. "So where's Nat?"

"I'm pretty sure she's with Ana."

"Hope they don't run into Aribeth. She and Nat may just get into another fight."

"I hope not. There's only so much the sleeping man and I can do." He looked around. "Say, where's Shar?"

"Right here." replied a voice. Ano looked up and smiled at his sister-in-law. "Hey there, Shar. And Tamorlyn." he added, looking at the year-old boy in Sharwyn's arms.

Tamorlyn regarded Ano with a curious look before looking away at something more interesting. Sharwyn addressed Joragin, "Has Delilah been behaving herself?"

"Like a perfect angel." Joragin murmured affectionately. Delilah looked at her mother. "Mommy." she held out her arms. Sharwyn obliged and picked her up, handing Tamorlyn to his father settling for the seat next to him. "So where are Nat, Ana and AJ?"

"Nat and Ana are somewhere. Come to think of it, I haven't seen AJ since we arrived…"

-

"What's the point of this again?" AJ asked.

Tomi sighed, "I told ya'. We go up to the nice lookin' broad," he pointed at Tamsil, "and you say your lines. If you do it right, I'll pay ya' five gold."

"Twenty."

"What? No more than seven!"

"Nineteen."

"Ten."

"Eighteen."

"Fifteen!"

"Sixteen."

"Twenty!"

"Deal."

"Gah! Rotten little sneak." Tomi muttered. AJ took Tomi's hand and walked over to Tamsil. He tugged on the woman's sleeve. Tamsil looked down at the boy. "Yes?"

AJ pointed at Tomi. "This is my Uncle, Tomi. He's very shy."

Tamsil looked at the halfling. "He is?" she asked. She and Tomi began conversing. AJ snuck behind Tomi's back and tapped him. When Tamsil wasn't looking, Tomi tossed a money pouch to AJ. The boy grinned and walked away, brushing past a rather burly man.

The man, Durnan, tapped Tomi on the shoulder. "Might I speak with you, halfling? It's about my daughter." he pointed at Tamsil.

Tomi gave him nervous smile. "Uh…"

-

"Hello, Aribeth." said Nathyrra.

""Hello, Nathyrra." She looked at the girl next to Nathyrra. Aribeth smiled and crouched down so that she was at eye-level with the child. "Who is this?"

"This is Anathyrra, my daughter."

Something flashed through Aribeth's eyes but it was gone in a moment. "I see." she extended her hand. "Hello, Anathyrra."

"You can call me Ana. I don't like Anathyrra. It's a weird name."

"Ana." warned Nathyrra.

Ana ignored her. "My mom's told me a lot about you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. She told me that you were really jealous of her and Daddy."

"Ana!" hissed Nathyrra.

Aribeth blinked. "I believe your mother was jealous of your father and I. We knew each other before your mother met your father."

"Oh I know. Dad's told me the story lots of times. Mom's told me it too but her version was a bit different."

"How so?"

"Well, Mom says that you were jealous. Dad says that both you and Mom were jealous of each other. Drak told me that you two started fighting and slapping each other."

"Ana-"

"Drak told me that you two got into some sort of a fight and Mom kicked your butt. Or you kicked my mom's butt. Drak couldn't decide."

"Drak hasn't changed at all, I see." remarked Aribeth.

Ana tugged on her mother's sleeve. "Can I go now?"

"Yes you can go." Nathyrra said from behind clenched teeth. Ana raised an eyebrow at Nathyrra's barely constrained anger and ran off.

Aribeth smirked. "She's your daughter alright."

-

"Hey, Kitten." greeted Ano. He reached down and pressed a kiss to his wife's lips. She broke away after a few seconds. "Have you seen our children?"

"I thought Ana was with you. I haven't seen AJ all evening."

"Neither have I."

Joragin and Sharwyn walked over. "Have you seen Delilah?" asked Sharwyn as readjusted Tamorlyn in her arms.

"Not a clue." said Ano.

"We're looking for AJ and Ana as well." Nathyrra told them.

"It's like they dissa-" Joragin was cut off by the sound of singing. The four parents looked at each other. "Take care of Tamor." Sharwyn commanded Joragin. The bard nodded and took his son.

A small crowd had formed around two figures. The bard, drow, and dragon disciple pushed their way to the front. AJ and Delilah stood there, singing.

"The hills are alive with the sound of music" sang AJ.

"With songs they have sung for a thousand years" added Delilah. AJ took his cousin and twirled her.

The crowd cheered as the parents stared at the children, dumbfounded.

"Nat, didn't you rent a portalvid the other day that had this song in it?" Ano asked.

"Yes. That doesn't explain how they learned to dance however…"

Sharwyn watched with growing interest as the children performed. "It looks as though my daughter is a bard as well." she said, grinning. She turned her gaze towards Nathyrra. "Have you ever considered getting AJ lessons in the theatre arts?"

"We'll put him in a drama class when he starts school." Nathyrra assured her.

Haer'Dalis clapped. "Wonderful grandchildren of my Raven!" he praised. AJ and Delilah beamed. Haer'Dalis spoke again, "Now do sing that delightful 'Cell Block Tango.'"

He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He only had himself to blame  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have seen it

Delilah stepped forward. "I betcha you would have done the same!"

Anotalex stared at his son and niece. Someone tapped him on the shoulder. He spun around. A druidic elven woman stared back at him. Ano grinned. "Aunt Jaheira, boy am I glad to see you."

"It's nice to see you as well."

"Listen, I need your help."

"That doesn't surprise me, Anotalex."

"I'm looking for Ana. Can you help me and Nat find her?"

"Yes I can."

-

Jaheira walked onto the balcony. Ignoring the unconscious Tomi (Who had been shoved in a trash can, courtesy of Durnan.), she strode towards Ana. Ana sat in front of a pigeon, speaking to it. "Yeah. I know how you feel."

"Anathyrra?"

Ana looked up. "Hi, Aunt Jaheira." she pointed at the bird. "He was just telling me about how someone left an entire turkey on the balcony three stories below."

"He told you that?" She sat down next to the girl.

"Yeah. I like animals. They tell me a lot of stuff."

"How long have you been able to understand them?"

Ana shrugged. "A few years I guess. It started out as a buzzing noise but then it made sense one day when I heard Snuggles say 'Ana, tell Anotalex to feed me or else I'll pee on his pillow right before he goes to sleep.'"

"I see." Jaheira said thoughtfully. _I must speak to her parents about this. It has to be animal empathy._

The sound of Ana's voice shook the druid out of her thoughts. "Is my mom still talking to the lady with the huge boobs?"

"No she's done talking with Aribeth. Your parents are looking for you however. Let's go."

-

Anathyrra, Nathyrra, and Anotalex Senior and Junior walked out the door.

"It was nice to see everyone." Nathyrra commented.

"You two know a lot of weird people." AJ informed his parents.

"Yes, yes we do." Ano agreed.


	5. Chapter Eight

m: For some reason, I don't think the rest of chapter seven is showing up. It ends at 'Ano looked over AJ's hair and smiled at Nathyrra.' instead of 'No arguments there.' like it should. If it still isn't working by tomorrow I'll upload it again.

Chapter Eight

AJ grinned as he filled the bucket with maple syrup. When finished, he placed the bucket above the door, hanging by a string. When the door opened, the bucket would drop its contents onto the unsuspecting person that opened the door.

The boy and his friend, Resotyr, crouched in hiding. Nathyrra opened the door halfway before pausing. She looked up and scowled. "AJ, you'll have to do better than that." She said aloud.

"Dang it!" The two eight-year-olds chorused at the same time.

Nathyrra rolled her eyes. Suddenly, Ano walked behind Nathyrra. "Hey, Nat." He started to push the door open.

"NO! Ano-"

It was too late. The bucket fell on top of Anotalex, leaving a very sticky dragon disciple. His eyes turned crimson. "AJ!" He shouted.

AJ gulped and fled. Anotalex ran after him. Resotyr and Nathyrra amused themselves by watching the father chase his son throughout the house.

-

Ana walked into the kitchen. She saw a plate of cookies sitting on the countertop. The message, 'For Ana, love Dad.' lay next to the plate. Ana frowned, something didn't feel right. She picked up a cookie and slowly bit into it. It tasted normal. Ana smiled and helped herself to another.

After her fourth cookie, AJ and Res stepped out of the shadows.

"You do know that those are laxatives…right?" AJ asked.

Ana's eyes widened. She ran out of the room. "YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS, ANOTALEX JR.! AS SOON AS I GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE. I SWEAR TO EILISTRAEE I'LL GET YOU BACK!" Ana bellowed as she ran into the bathroom.

Res and AJ burst out laughing.

"That was awesome!" cried Res as he wiped away tears of mirth.

-

AJ a devious grin as he set up a magical listening and talking device in the kitchen. When finished, the boy ran to the safety of his bedroom and waited.

Ano walked into the kitchen. He opened the pantry and started rummaging around. He scowled when he couldn't find what he was looking for. "Where are the damn chips?" he muttered as he searched.

A strange voice suddenly started talking. "People of Toril. This is Mephistopheles, leader of the devil invasion force. Your plane is in our hands. Resistance is futile."

"AAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Ano screamed. He ran out of the room. "NAT! GET YOUR ARMOR! MEPHISTOPHELSES ESCAPED FROM HELL!"

Ano ran into his room and grabbed his sword out of a chest. _Oh gods, what the hell was his true name again? Something the ambitious. Thyrro the ambitious? Raxxy the ambitious? Thrax? Thyrax? Thyrraxon? Tampon!_

"We have captured your gods. They were delicious." AJ said as Ano ran by his room, holding his sword and several throwing knives. Anotalex stopped when he saw his son. "AJ!" He yelled and ran into the room.

AJ grinned at his father. "That was funny."

"IT WAS NOT FUNNY! Damn it, boy! Don't scare me like that." He made AJ look him straight in the eye. "No more pranks, agreed?"

"I promise." AJ lied.

-

The next morning, Ano yawned and walked into the bathroom. A minute later, he ran out screaming and wearing only a pair of boxers.

Nathyrra opened her eyes and grabbed the dagger on her bedside table. She put it down when she saw that it was only her husband. "Anotalex! What is it!"

"Our son put a tattoo on me!" He roared.

"Where?"

"My ass!" He turned around and pulled down his boxers to show her. The words 'property of Nathyrra' we printed on Ano's buttocks.

Nathyrra smirked and burst into laughter. Anotalex glared at her as he pulled up his boxers. "It's not funny! It's embarrassing!"

"Yes, but you have to admire our son's cunning." Nathyrra grinned. "I may just ask you to keep it."

"I am NOT having a tattoo that says 'property of Nathyrra' on my ass!" He shouted, his eyes crimson.

Nathyrra immediately stopped laughing when she saw that Ano's eyes were starting to turn yellow, the sign of a slayer transformation. The drow stood up and walked over to her husband, pulling him into an embrace. "Calm down, Ano. It's not worth turning into the slayer over."

His orbs returned to their natural emerald green. "I started to turn into the slayer?" he asked worriedly.

"Your eyes were turning gold." She informed him.

Ano grimaced. "Sorry."

She smiled. "I'll talk to AJ." She reached up and kissed Ano.

-

"AJ, you have to stop playing pranks on your father." Nathyrra said to her son a while later.

"But his reactions are hilarious!" AJ protested.

_You won't it very amusing if he turns into the slayer. _"AJ, if you keep making your father angry on purpose it could have dire consequences. Promise me you won't keep playing these practical jokes." She pleaded.

"Alright! Alright! I'll stop!"

-

Three weeks went by without a prank. AJ was slowly losing his sanity. Finally, he snapped and called Res to help him set up one last prank.

-

Ano walked down the hall. He was in a very good mood for no pranks had been played in the last three weeks. He didn't see the roller-skate that had been placed on the stairs and tripped. Ano fell down the stairs, cursing as he fell. He rolled out the open door into the front yard. A bucket of green dye fell on his head along with several flower pots, leaving Ano with green skin and azaleas in his hair.

He saw AJ and Res laughing in the distance. His face curled into a snarl. The fighter felt the taint start to twist his soul. Some instinct of his remembered that he loved his son despite everything that he had done so he didn't turn fully into the slayer. Instead, his muscles bulged and he grew several feet. Ano's eyes became bright yellow and his skin remained green.

"ANO...MAD!" He roared, unable to form a proper grammatical sentence. The pressure of his muscles forced his shirt to rip and fall off. His boots crumbled and his pants were reduced to tatters. Ano let out and animal like roar and started walking down the street. (A/N: In case anyone doesn't get the joke, Ano's supposed to look like the hulk…except with a goatee.)

Nathyrra ran out of the house, gripping a necklace. She turned to AJ and Res. "NOW do you see why you shouldn't purposely anger your father!" she exclaimed before tearing off after Anotalex.

"Thanks the gods his pants stayed on." AJ commented as his mother chased his father, waving a holy symbol of Eilistraee that was the necklace.

-

Ano groaned and opened his eyes. He saw that he was lying on a bed, his bed. "What happened?" he asked drowsily.

"That last prank really got to you." Nathyrra told him.

Ano looked at his wife ho was sitting on the edge of the bed. "Oh gods, did I turn into the slayer?"

"No. You turned into something like the slayer but not quite."

"Did I hurt anyone?"

"No. I think AJ has learned his lesson though."

"That's good."

Nathyrra bent down and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Get some more sleep." She ordered.

-

The next morning, Nathyrra rubbed her eyes and looked to her side. Ano was sleeping peacefully, undisturbed by any practical jokes or nightmares about the Bhaal taint. Nathyrra smiled and walked into the bathroom. A few minutes later, she started shrieking. "ANOTALEX SEELAMIN DERLYN! YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!" she screeched.

Anotalex stared as his wife stormed out of the room, locks of pink hair flying behind her. Ano blinked. "Huh…Nathyrra with pink hair. Don't see that everyday."

-

Ana grinned mischievously as she heard her mother yelling at AJ. "Revenge is sweet." She declared before throwing a color scroll meant to turn something pink into the trashcan.

Authoress: I just checked and chapter 7 is working now. Just click refresh.


	6. Chapter Nine

m: This is making me crack up because I'm pretty sure the only people who are reading this are men. (snickers)

Chapter Nine

Nathyrra watched as her children played outside. It was a bright and sunny day so the twins had decided to have a water balloon fight in the backyard.

AJ threw a balloon at his sister. Ana ducked to avoid it and hurled a balloon at her brother.

Nathyrra watched as they nine-year-olds fought, her eyes calculating. After several minutes she finally spoke, "Ano, I think Ana needs a bra."

Anotalex spit out the glass of lemonade he had been drinking. "Could you warn me next time you're gonna say something like that!"

"What's wrong with me telling you that our daughter needs a bra?"

"How would you like it if out of the blue I told you that AJ needed a jockstrap?"

"…Oh."

"Now do you see what I mean?"

"I'm just letting you know that I'm taking her tomorrow."

"Do I have to do anything?"

"No."

"Okay then."

An hour later, Ana and AJ got bored and went back inside. Nathyrra frowned when she saw that there were several balloons left. She stood up and started to gather them up.

Nathyrra suddenly felt a flying object hit her on the back of her head, soaking her with water. She turned around, an expression of disbelief painted across her face.

Ano grinned at her and picked up another balloon, ready to throw it at his wife. Nathyrra glared at him. "I know you didn't just throw that at me."

"What are you gonna do about it, Kitten?" He taunted.

She smiled dangerously and whispered a spell. A stream of water shot out of her palm, its target; Ano. The force of the liquid knocked Ano to the ground, where he lay unmoving.

Nathyrra's eyes widened. "Ano!" she cried, concerned for him. The drow rushed over to her husband and knelt down next to him. His body started shaking. Ano turned over, howling with laughter.

Nathyrra narrowed her eyes and shoved him. "That was NOT funny!"

"Yes it was." said Ano, still sniggering.

She grinned despite herself. "You're going to drive me insane. I knew it from the moment I agreed to marry you." She leaned down and kissed him.

He returned the kiss, placing his hands on her back and gently pulling her down with him. The sound of retching noises made them stop.

Ana and AJ stood a few feet away, making pretend gagging noises. "Get a room!"

-

Ana looked out the window of the carriage, wondering if there was any way for her to escape her mother and this shopping trip. Nathyrra gave her daughter a reassuring smile. "Ana, every girl has to do this."

"Yes but did you have to bring HIM?" she asked, pointing at AJ.

"I couldn't find a babysitter and your father is out with Drak and Uncle Joragin." Nathyrra replied.

"Mom! I'm nine years old! I don't need a babysitter!" AJ protested.

"AJ, your father and I are still paying fines for the damage that you did the last time we left you unsupervised."

-

They entered the department store. AJ wandered off within minutes as Ana unwillingly followed her mother.

"What do you think of this?" Nathyrra asked, holding up a blue bra.

"Mom! Put that down!" Ana hissed and grabbed her hand.

"Ana. You're going to be doing this for the rest of your life. Accept it."

Nathyrra continued leafing through racks of clothing. Ana's eyes darted around the room, looking for someway to escape.

"Let's see…you have A's s those will be over…here." Nathyrra murmured.

"A's?" Ana asked.

"There are several different ways that bras are classified. There's the first size which is A, then there's B, C, D, E, and rarely F."

"What do you have, mom?"

Nathyrra blinked. "I'm not going to tell you that."

"Why not?"

"Why are you so interested?"

"Because I wanna know how big I'm gonna get."

"Fine! Fine! I have a C-cup if you must know."

"Great, I'm gonna have enormous boobs."

"Ana, that's not enormous. In fact, the only reason I have them is because I had you and your brother."

"Huh?"

"Do you remember Aribeth? You met her once when you were young."

"Yeah…"

"SHE was almost your mother."

"…Oh."

"Which means you would have had B's by the time you were eleven."

-

A saleswoman approached Ana and Nathyrra. "HI! I'm Debbie! Do you need some help?" she asked, smiling brilliantly.

"Yes, my daughter, Anathyrra, and I are shopping for bras." Nathyrra said bluntly.

Debbie grinned at the bright red Ana. "Oh! This must be your first time! Aren't you just the cutest little bug's ear?"

"Bugs don't have ears." Ana said flatly. _Dumbass._

"Ana." Nathyrra warned.

Debbie flashed Ana the same grin. "So cute." She pinched Ana's cheek.

_Elg'carress, you touch me again and I'll shove one of these clothing racks up your vithing ass. _

Still wearing her super-model smile, Debbie picked up a lacy pink bra. "How do you like this, Anathyrra?"

"It's pink." Ana said dumbfounded.

Nathyrra shook her head. "No pink."

Debbie nodded energetically and selected another garment. This one was also lacy but red.

"Can we get it a bit less...lacy?" Ana asked.

Debbie ignored her and selected a large pile of bras, each one worse than the last. "Let's go to the dressing rooms!" she said perkily.

_What the hell is wrong with this gods damn woman? Is she on drugs or something? _

_-_

Debbie had tried to enter the room with Ana and Nat but Ana had refused to allow anyone but her mother in. "I refuse to wear all of these." Ana said stubbornly and folded her arms over her chest.

"Anathyrra…" Nathyrra said dangerously. She was met with a stubborn blue stare that was identical to her own.

Nathyrra sighed. "Alright. We'll look some more."

-

AJ walked over to his sister, who was sitting on a bench outside the room. "Are ya done yet?"

"I've tried them all but I can't decide."

AJ nodded. "I have an idea." He walked into the dressing room.

Several minutes later he walked out wearing one of the garments over his shirt. Ana gaped at him in open shock.

AJ looked at himself in the mirror. "Okay, I don't think this one is the right color." He stepped back into the dressing room.

When he stepped out again he was wearing a different bra. "Whoever made this was a blind person with a sick sense of humor." He informed Ana.

Nathyrra walked over. She stared at her son when she saw that he was wearing one of Ana's bras. "AJ?"

AJ shook his head. "How could you allow your daughter and my sister to wear this? I mean look at it! The design's all wrong and the color is abysmal." Muttering something about second-rate lingerie, he walked back into the dressing room.

-

"Was this ever featured on PV? I swear I saw it on 'The Top Ten Worst Pieces of Clothing Ever Made'?" AJ asked.

"Anotalex Junior, we've been here for OVER FIVE HOURS! PICK SOMETHING ALREADY!" Nathyrra shouted.

"Touchy. Touchy." AJ muttered.

Ana smacked her forehead with an open palm. "Kill me now."

-

Anotalex smiled as his daughter walked into the house. "Hey, Ana. How'd it go?"

"Oh just great. Considering I have the world's most embarrassing Mom, a saleswoman who was on crack or something like that, and a cross-dressing brother." She snapped before walking out of the room.

"If it weren't for me you would be wearing crap-with-straps!" AJ shot back as he followed his sister out of the room.

Ano blinked. "Wait…what?"

Nathyrra shook her head. "Don't worry about it."


	7. Chapter Ten

M: I'm not quite sure, but I think parts of this chapter are on the border of an R rating. Just warning you. 'Let's Get It On' belongs to Marvin Gaye.

Shadow0015: Debbie was based off a saleswoman who wouldn't stop bothering my older sister when she went shopping. I over exaggerated a bit considering I wasn't there when my sister went but oh well. Ana's thoughts were based off of what I was thinking at that age. Most mortifying experience. Ever. 'Blossomed.' That is a great term for that:D

Guan: Because we females are highly sensitive about our breasts at that age. -)

Chapter Ten

AJ and Ana walked into the kitchen. Nathyrra looked up from the knife she was sharpening. "Hello." she greeted.

"How was school?" asked Ano.

"It was okay." Ana told them.

AJ pulled out a slip of paper and placed it on the table. "We need you both to sign this." He said to his parents.

Anotalex scanned the paper. His eyes widened when he saw what it was. "Go to your rooms." He said quickly.

"But-"

"NOW!"

The twins blinked and ran off.

Nathyrra waited until she was sure the ten-year-olds were upstairs before speaking to her husband. "What was that all about?"

He handed her the permission slip. Nathyrra read through it and her eyes bulged as well. "It's time already!"

"Apparently so." Ano replied.

Nathyrra sighed and rubbed her temples. "Oh gods."

"I know. I thought they didn't teach sex-ed until middle school."

Nathyrra stared at him. "Are you serious? My mother taught me when I was about Ana's age."

"Really?"

"Well, my sister, Zarra, told me everything and much more years before my mother spoke with me."

"How young were you?"

"You don't want to know."

"Oh." Ano frowned. "So…you'll talk to both of them?"

"Anotalex, I'll talk to Ana. YOU have to talk to AJ."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes! He's a boy; it's your job to explain it to him."

Ano ran his fingers through his hair. "I have no idea how I'm gonna do this."

"Well, how did you learn?" Nathyrra asked.

"Well, my father wasn't around to explain everything to me so my mother had me go to my Uncle Sarevok's house. He didn't want to explain it to me so he…Uh…" Ano suddenly turned bright red.

"What did he do?"

"I really don't wanna talk about it."

"Anotalex…" Nathyrra said sternly.

"Um…"

"Tell me!"

"Alright! Alright! He gave me a porn magazine and told me to go home and read it! Happy?"

Nathyrra stared at Ano. "Did you?"

"I went home. My mother asked me if Uncle Sarevok had explained everything. I said that he just gave me a magazine a showed it to her. She got really angry and went to Sarevok's house. The next day, I went back to my uncle's and he explained it to me. I noticed that his wrist was broken as he gave me the talk."

"I see…" Nathyrra stood up. "We should go speak with them; they're probably wondering why you sent them to their rooms."

-

Ano took a deep breath and opened the door to his son's room. AJ looked up at him. "Hey, Dad."

"Hey, buddy." Ano sat down next to his son.

"Hey, Dad."

"Listen I wanted to talk you about that permission slip."

"You mean the sex-ed one?"

"Yes." Ano paused for a minute before speaking again. "Do you know anything about the subject?"

"Well…I'm little bit worried about being a slut." (A/N: Quote from King of the Hill. Bobby is hilarious.)

"…why don't you just tell me everything you already know about sex. When you finish, I'll answer any questions you have and you can take notes." Ano pulled out a notepad and handed it to his son.

-

Nathyrra grimaced and walked into Ana's room. Her daughter looked at her as she came in. "Is Dad still mad?"

"Your father wasn't mad, he was just stressed." Nathyrra sat down on the end of Ana's bed and spoke to her, "Ana, I wanted to talk to you about the permission slip."

Ana nodded. "It's for some class called sex-ed…whatever that is."

"That's exactly what I was going to tell you about."

"Okay then, what's sex?" Ana asked bluntly.

"…Why don't I start by telling you about what's happening to you." She cleared her throat. "Do you remember when I took you shopping for bras?"

"Yes." Ana said bitterly.

"Well, that's only the beginning. You're going to grow hair in 'odd' places, grow taller, and other things. Its called puberty, which is basically the process of going from being a girl to a woman. You're even going to have a monthly 'visitor'."

"Who? Uncle Sarevok?"

"No. That's just an expression. I'm talking about your period."

"Huh?"

"When you get your period it means that biologically, you're a woman and are capable of having kids. It happens once a month. You'll get cramps, have mood swings, and bleed for five days."

"Bleed?" Ana asked fearfully.

"Don't worry. You're supposed to bleed. It's all part of the process."

"Bleed where?"

"Your privates." Nathyrra said flatly.

"How long does it last?"

"Well, for humans it lasts until they're fifty. You're half-drow an there's the matter of the Bhaal taint so I'm not quite sure how it will last for you. Hundreds of years most likely."

"When will I get it?"

"It's impossible to tell exactly when. Anytime from now until you're sixteen."

"How will I tell?"

"Your inner thighs will be covered in blood." Nathyrra said dryly. "The next thing I'm going to talk you about is pregnancy."

"Mom, I already know about that. I KNOW that me and AJ didn't come from a stork."

"Yes but that's only half of it." Nathyrra stood up. "I'll be right back." She slipped out of the room and came back a minute later holding a large book. Seeing Ana's quizzical expression Nathyrra said, "This will explain most of it. The rest you'll learn in sex-ed."

"Mom…that book is at least six-hundred pages long."

"Too bad, we're gonna sit here and read every page until you have it memorized down to the punctuation marks."

"Okay…"

-

A few hours later, Nathyrra put down the book. Ana had a rather disoriented expression on her face. She blinked. "Men use the bathroom with that." She stated.

"I know, Ana."

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Do you and Dad ever have sex anymore?"

Nathyrra was silent for a few minutes before saying, "I'm not going to answer that."

"Why not?"

"It's private." She stood up and walked towards the door. "Let's go see how your father and AJ are doing."

-

Nathyrra opened the door to AJ's room. Ano was listening to AJ with eager excitement and scribbling things down on the notepad.

"…So after that you just twist to the left." AJ declared.

"You can do that!" Ano cried and jotted down more notes.

Nathyrra coughed to make her presence known. Ano looked up at his wife. "I don't think there's anything left to discuss, AJ. Go away so I can talk to your mother."

"But it's my room-"

"Go."

Grumbling something about invasion of personal space, AJ left the room.

Nathyrra sat down beside Ano. "So how did it go?"

"Not to bad. There wasn't really anything I could teach him. In truth, _I _learned some new things."

"Lucky you. Ana was clueless."

"She was?"

"Don't worry; she'll back to normal by tomorrow."

"That's good."

-

The next day, Ana and AJ sat in their class. Ana's friend, Halieth, whispered to her, "What do you they're gonna talk about."

"Sex." Ana said flatly.

Hali glared at her. "I know that. What I meant was, what do you think they're gonna say?"

"Dunno."

Resotyr was speaking to AJ. "This is a waste of time."

AJ nodded.

Their teacher, Ms. Blake, glared at the class. "Alright you little maggots, shut up and watch the damn portalvid." She turned the viewing screen on then sat down and lit up a smoking object. AJ wasn't quite sure, but he thought she was smoking marijuana.

"Ms. Blake lit up a joint again." Res muttered.

"I know." AJ mumbled back.

An overly made-up woman appeared on the screen. She grinned. "Looking for a good time? I'll show you one."

To the class's shock, the woman started to unbutton her blouse. Ms. Blake walked over to the screen and turned it off. "Shit. I put in the wrong portalvid. That was the porn I rented for today after school in the teacher's lounge." She put the actual tape in and went back to her desk.

A man appeared on the viewing screen. He began to describe the details of puberty and sex by following the life of a dating couple. "Danny and Donna started dating in high school. They went to the park, the swimming pool, a massive drug bust at the local daycare, and various other wholesome activities. But they never ruined their fun by giving into their raging hormonal urges, except for Danny who was caught…" at that moment the volume went off. Everyone looked at Ms. Blake. "Son of a bitch." She muttered when she saw that she had accidentally sat on the mute button of the remote. She turned the mute button off. "…with a photo of Donna. Then the big day came, Danny and Donna got married. That night came the honeymoon."

A rather 'interesting' song started playing.

I've been really tryin', baby  
Tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long  
And if you feel like I feel, baby  
Then, c'mon, oh, c'mon  
Let's get it on  
Ah, baby, let's get it on

"EWWW! OH MY GODS!" The kids shouted.

Ms. Blake took another puff of her pot. "She's faking it."

Kenny, the most paranoid student in the class, stood up. He pointed at Donna. "That moaning woman will devour us all!" He screamed and ran out of the room.

"Don't worry; he'll be back before the authorities conduct any investigations." Ms. Blake assured everyone.

When the film ended, Ms. Blake turned it off. "There you have it. Any questions?"

One boy raised his hand. "Why don't you live with Mr. Blake anymore?"

"Because Mr. Blake decided that he wanted to screw some bitch from Waterdeep and run off with her." She shook her head. "Alright, get out of here you little jackasses. I'm gonna get boozed with the janitor."

The kids ran out of the room.

Authoress: I swear I didn't mean for it to turn out this crazy. It all started with the pot-smoking teacher and it all went downhill from there.


	8. Chapter Eleven

M: Believe it or not, my sixth grade English teacher actually did this to her stepson.

Shadow0015: I loved her response too.

Guan: Glad you liked it.

Luthe: There are gonna be 18 chapters of this fic. I'm gonna get round to finishing IW. I updated it just recently, in fact.

Chapter Eleven

Nathyrra heaved a sigh and opened the door. She had taken on a job from the Seer on a last minute's notice and required that she awaken at four hours past midnight and travel for the next several hours. The mission had been a false alarm so Nathyrra was allowed to return home before schedule. It was now one hour past noon.

The drow walked down the hall, making no noise as she walked and stopping when she saw her husband. Ano was asleep on the couch, his wings spread out at odd angles and a large pile of magical scrolls spread out on his chest.

Nathyrra smiled and strode towards the sleeping man. She gently shook him. "Ano. Wake up."

Ano snapped his eyes open, his emerald green eyes wide as dinner plates. He abruptly sat up and screamed, "AAAAAAAHHHHHH! NO MORE AMERICAN WOMEN!"

"What are you talking about?" Nathyrra asked.

"I have no idea." Ano replied. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked at his wife. "What time is it?"

"An hour past noon."

"You're home early then."

"And you're sleeping late. Why is that?"

"Oh." Ano gave her a sheepish grin. "I couldn't get back to sleep after you left so I decided to get started on those scrolls Imoen asked me to translate. Halieth's mother came to take AJ and Ana to school so I guess I must have lost track of time."

"I see."

Ano shifted into a more comfortable position on the couch before speaking again, "So why is it that you're home early, Nat?"

"It was a false alarm. There was no raiding party. I can only hope that we'll get lucky in two days when I go to the Underdark." Seeing his concerned look she added, "Ano, I have to return to the Underdark. It's part of my job. You knew this when you married me."

"I know. I just hate the idea of you getting hurt."

"I'm quite capable of taking care of myself, Anotalex." Nathyrra said flatly.

"So there's no chance that'll you'll settle down and become a stay-at-home mom?" Ano asked, his eyes dancing.

Nathyrra snorted. "Can you really see me as a homemaker?"

"Yes, yes I can. With a watering canteen and a cute little sundress-" He was cut off by Nathyrra hitting him in the face with a pillow. "The day I wear a sundress is the day Haer'Dalis stops calling you 'Son of My Raven'."

"Aww. Not even once? I'd pay to see you in one of those."

"It's not going to happen."

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the wisp buzzing. Nathyrra answered it. "Hello?"

Ano listened as Nathyrra responded to the wisp in the other room. He could only hear one side of the conversation so it was a bit hard to follow.

"Uh-huh…I see…are you sure? Positive? Well, I know he can be…Tomorrow? Alright then…Bye." Nathyrra walked back into the family room. "Our son has been misbehaving."

"Again?" Ano groaned.

"His principal wishes to have a parent-teacher conference tomorrow."

"Alright then."

XXXXX

"Greetings, Mr. Derlyn, Mrs. Kant'tar." Principal Renniks said the next day to the two parents in front of his desk.

Nathyrra nodded. "You called us about our son…"

"Yes. Don't take this the wrong way, Anotalex Junior is a good boy, but sometimes he bends the rules a bit." Renniks said tactfully.

"How so?" Ano asked.

"Well, just yesterday, AJ caused an 'accident' that managed to flood half on the science hallway."

"He flooded the hallway?" Nathyrra asked.

"With tapioca. He claimed that he had mistaken it for one of the ingredients to his experiment."

"I see. I suppose you want me to pay you for the damages?" Ano asked, a bit wearily.

"That would be nice."

Ano pulled out a checkbook. "How much?"

"Seventy gold for cleaning the mess and five gold for the loss of another student's lunch."

Ano scribbled a number on the check and handed it to Renniks. Renniks accepted it. "As you know, this isn't the first time an incident such as this has happened. There was the food fight, the nervous breakdown of Ms. Blake last year, the skunk infestation…"

"We're quite aware of our son's 'antics'." Nathyrra said flatly.

"What do you propose we do?" Ano asked.

Renniks cleared his throat, "What I suggest may be a bit unorthodox but if both of you are willing to cooperate, then things should go smoothly."

"Tell us what to do." Ano commanded.

"You are both mages, correct?"

Ano and Nathyrra nodded.

"In that case, the first part will be rather simple. In order for you to truly see what your son is doing one of you must…"

XXXXX

Ana scowled as she walked towards her draconic class. She already knew the language due to her father and was often bored in the class. She strode into the room and took a seat next to her brother. Anathyrra noticed something different about the room, a bird—a crow to be specific—perched on Mrs. Parsonn's desk.

Mrs. Parsonn smiled. "I suppose you're all wondering about my friend here," she said, pointing to the crow.

The class nodded.

"I'm taking care of her for my sister. I couldn't leave her at home so I had no choice to but to bring her here with me."

"Does she have a name?" Halieth asked.

"Biscuit." Mrs. Parsonn replied.

"What idiot names their crow 'Biscuit'?" AJ whispered to Res.

Mrs. Parsonn began her lesson but Ana wasn't paying attention. Instead, she was far more interested in the crow. The elven-year-old reached out with her animal empathy. She was immediately confronted with several very powerful mental barriers that kept Ana from reading the crow's thoughts. Ana instantly knew that the crow was not a crow at all. She had also recognized the shields. There was only one explanation. _What the hell is she doing here disguised as a bird! _

At that moment, Mr. Renniks walked in along with a short man in a uniform. "Mrs. Parsonn, I'm sorry to interrupt our class, but we've hired a new janitor and he only speaks draconic."

Ana arched an eyebrow. _A human that speaks only draconic? You don't see that everyday. _

"I was wondering if one of your students could assist me in showing Joey his duties."

"Certainly. AJ, would you be so kind-"

"Sure." AJ said and stood up.

"Oh, and could you take Biscuit with you? She could use some exercise." Mrs. Parsonn added.

AJ shrugged. "Okay."

XXXXX

"Alright, we're here at the bathrooms." Renniks said a few minutes later. "Tell Joey that he needs to give them a good scrubbing everyday."

AJ turned towards Joey. :You must lick the privy seats everyday. That's the only way they'll get truly clean. And if you wash your mouth out afterwards, it will cause a curse, one of nine plagues.:

Joey's eyes widened. For a minute, AJ could have sworn that Biscuit's eyes did too.

"Duty number two is to restock the vending machines." Renniks stated.

:Restock the vending machines. Cocaine goes on the top, marijuana goes in the middle, and heroin on the bottom. Always separate your drugs.:

"Duty three is to make sure we have enough ketchup in the cafeteria."

:Check to make sure that we have enough ketchup. If we don't, you can murder on of the students and use their blood as a substitute.:

"No students are allowed in the teacher's lounge."

:No students are allowed in the teacher's lounge when a drug deal, murder, or orgy is taking place.:

"Always sweep the floor."

:Make sure none of the murder victims escape. If they do, feel free to use the sexual torture devices on them to make them more open to suggestion.:

"I think you'll be very happy here."

:If you fail to comply with my wishes then you will be locked in the basement with the flesh eating cockroaches and sex-deprived hook horrors.:

AJ and Renniks walked away. Joey followed. : This is a mad house.: He muttered under his breath.

XXXXX

As soon as the lunch bell rang and everyone had left, Ana walked over to Biscuit. "Okay, cut the crap."

The crow transformed into a drow woman. Ana raised an eyebrow. "Mom, what are you doing here?"

Nathyrra smiled. "I always knew you were cunning. Does AJ suspect anything?"

"No, but that doesn't explain why you're here."

"Your father and I received several complaints from Mr. Renniks about AJ's behavior. I'm investigating. Don't tell your brother, okay?"

"Alright. If it's a plan to get AJ in trouble then don't worry about me blowing it for y'all." said Ana, grinning.

Nathyrra rolled her eyes. "Run along now, you'll be late for lunch."

Nathyrra watched as her daughter slipped out of the room. She had decided not to tell Ana about the second part of the plan because it was quite possible that Ana would be displeased as well as AJ.

XXXXX

"Bye, Dad." AJ said the next day as he closed the carriage door and walked towards his school.

A devious smirk formed on Ano's lips. _He has no idea. _

XXXXX

AJ scowled as his sorcery class progressed. Ms. Odessione was teaching them the basics for a fireball spell and AJ was rather bored.

"…Make sure you are using the correct scroll. You don't want to end up causing a thunderstorm when what you really wanted was a fire." Ms. Odessione stated.

_Please, I was casting fire spells as soon as I started making coherent speech. By Eilistraee, this class is boring. I'm starting wish I had animal empathy and divine spells like Ana so I could just spend this period outside in the woods instead of cooped up in this damn room. _

A quiet knock was heard at the door. The bored students snapped to attention at the disruption.

"Come in." Ms. Odessione said.

To AJ's shock, his mother and father entered the room and sat down in the desks next to their son.

"Class, Mr. and Mrs. Derlyn are going to sit in on our class today. Take no heed of them. We will continue our normal routine." Ms. Odessione declared.

"It's Kant'tar, not Derlyn. I don't go by my husband's last name." Nathyrra muttered under her breath.

"What the hell are you two doing here!" cried an astonished AJ.

The class turned around and stared at them. A cold glare from Nathyrra sent them back to work.

"We're here to make sure you behave." Ano told his son.

"That you don't pretend to translate for Mr. Renniks and scare the janitor out of his wits." Nathyrra added.

"How did you…"

"A little birdie told me."

AJ's jaw dropped. "You're Biscuit!"

"Shh!" Ms. Odessione scolded.

Nathyrra lowered her voice. "I was trying to observe your behavior for myself. We're going to have a LONG talk when we get home, young man. I'm missing work for this."

"Your mother was supposed to travel to the Underdark. And I have several scrolls to translate." Ano growled.

Nathyrra shook her head. "Pay attention." She commanded, gesturing to the teacher. "This could be on the test."

Deciding not to argue with his mother, AJ tried to listen. A dull expression of boredom crossed his face within minutes.

Ano sympathized with AJ. He knew that his son was bored and had often felt the same way when he was AJ's age.

Out of sheer boredom, AJ subtly started playing a duel with his pen and pencil when his mother wasn't looking. He saw his father's green gaze upon him and put down the utensils. Ano picked up the pen and tapped AJ's hand. Comprehension dawned on AJ and he smiled. The boy picked up the pencil and began dueling with his father.

A cold glare from Nathyrra made them stop. "Ano," she began, "Don't encourage him."

"Come on, Nat, he already knows this."

"If he doesn't pay attention to this then how will he pay attention when he needs to learn the more advanced lessons?"

"Cut him some slack, he knows what he's doing."

"He-"

"Mr. and Mrs. Derlyn, is there something you would like share with the rest of the class?" An irritated Ms. Odessione asked.

"No." They both said sheepishly.

XXXXX

AJ, Nathyrra, and Anotalex walked towards AJ's next class. Ana was waiting near the door. "Hey, AJ." Her eyes widened when she saw Nathyrra and Ano. "What the hell are you two doing here!"

"Watch your language! Say 'heck' not 'hell'." Nathyrra snapped. A late student suddenly ran down the hall and accidentally knocked into Nathyrra, not stopping to apologize.

"Damn it! What the hell is your problem!" Nathyrra shouted after him. Ana smirked at her mother. "Say 'heck' not 'hell'." she said in a mocking tone.

Nathyrra narrowed her eyes. Ana shook her head. "What are you two doing here?"

"Making sure that your brother behaves." Ano replied.

"I know but you didn't tell me that you were actually gonna come to school, Mom." Ana said dangerously.

"I didn't think you would react well to the second part of the plan." Nathyrra said, shrugging.

"Wait, you knew?" AJ asked Ana.

"AJ, I knew from the moment Mrs. Parsonn introduced 'Biscuit'."

"You knew…"

"Not about this. If I did, I would have figured out some way to stop them."

XXXXX

"This is so embarrassing." Ana hissed. The family was sitting in AJ and Ana's math class.

"If you think this embarrassing, you should see what my sister, Zarra, and my mother put me through." Nathyrra shot back.

"I thought this was AJ's punishment, not mine."

"We have to make sacrifices sometimes, Ana."

"Well-"

Their conversation was interrupted by Mr. Cassady. "Would you and your mother like to step outside, Ms. Derlyn?" He growled.

"No." Ana and Nathyrra muttered in unison.

"Good." Cassady started to turn towards the board when he looked at Ano and frowned. "Mr. Derlyn, are you chewing gum?"

"Err…" Anotalex stammered.

"Spit it out, Mr. Derlyn."

Ano scowled and walked over to the trashcan.

"Please tell me I've had a nervous collapse and this is just a side-affect of the medicine." Ana said under her breath.

XXXXX

After lunch came recess. Ano, Nat, Hali, and Ana were sitting on one of the bleachers. Res and AJ had gone to join the other boys playing football. (A/N: By football, I mean the American version with the lemon-shaped ball, not soccer. Just clarifying that.)

"So…why is that you're here, Mrs. Kant'tar?" Hali asked.

"To make sure our son behaves." Nathyrra replied.

"I know. It just seems a bit…extreme." Hali stated.

Ano grinned. "It is. Personally, I'm having fun."

"That's because you're encouraging him." An exasperated Nathyrra declared.

"I am not! Nat, I was exactly the same when I his age. He'll grow out of it."

"Uh-huh." Nathyrra said skeptically.

Elsewhere, AJ and Res were about to play a game of football. "Okay, we're one guy short." Their captain, Tom, said.

"What about him?" asked another kid, pointing at Ano in the distance.

"That's my dad." AJ declared.

"You mean the really tall, muscular guy with wings?"

"Yep."

"Go ask him then."

"Okay." AJ ran over to his father. "Hey, Dad, will you play football with us?"

"Sure." Ano responded and walked away.

Nathyrra observed her husband as he started to play. The drow's eyes widened when she realized the dragon disciple's mistake. "NO! ANO, IT'S TOUCH FOOTBALL-" She was cut off by Ano slamming into two students. The boys crashed into one of the walls of the school.

Ana and Hali winced in sympathy. Nathyrra smacked her forehead with an open palm.

"Should I go heal them?" Ana asked.

Nathyrra nodded. Ana and Hali walked away. Nathyrra sighed. "Just what we need, another lawsuit."

XXXXX

The next class was hand-to-hand fighting. "…And so you bring up your arm to block." Ms. Warren said and demonstrated. The class copied her movements.

"The block's wrong." Nathyrra murmured to Ano.

"Let it go, Kitten." Ano pleaded.

"No." Nathyrra addressed Ms. Warren. "The block's wrong."

"What re you talking about?" she asked warily.

"The block is wrong. You should raise your arm higher."

"How would you know, _drow_?"

Nathyrra stiffened. "I am well aware of the basics of hand-to-hand combat. I just wish that my children's teacher was as well." She spat.

"It's no wonder your son gets in trouble so often, what with a drow like you as a mother." Ms. Warren snarled.

Nathyrra gritted her teeth. "You bitch." Before Ms. Warren could react, Nathyrra slapped her across the face. Warren kicked Nathyrra in the shins and punched her in the stomach. The drow let out a scream of rage and tackled her to the ground, continually punching Warren in the face.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" The kids chanted.

Warren pushed Nathyrra away and kicked her in the ribs. Nathyrra snarled and grabbed Ms. Warren's neck, putting her in a headlock.

"Dad, do something!" a bright red Ana exclaimed.

AJ stared at her. "Why? This is the most entertaining thing that's happened all day."

"Holy crap this is hot." A grinning Ano said.

"DAD!"

"Did I just say that out loud?"

"GO!"

"I'm going! I'm going!" Ano cautiously approached the two women and wrapped his arms around Nathyrra's waist, dragging her away.

"Let go of me! I'm not finished with that elg'carress yet!" Nathyrra roared.

"Let's go, Kitten." Ano murmured. "Kids! Come on, we're going home early."

XXXXX

Ana glared at her parents as they walked into their home. "I hate you." She declared and stormed upstairs to her room.

AJ grinned. "That was so cool." He stated and walked towards his own room.

"She'll thank us for this one day." Ano said, indicating Ana.

"No…she won't." Nathyrra said.


	9. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

Ano looked up as his children entered the kitchen. "Hey, kids, how was school?"

"Good." AJ replied and sat down across from his father.

"Hmph." Ana mumbled and poured herself a glass of water. She left the room without so much as glancing at her father.

Ano blinked. "What's wrong with her?"

AJ shrugged. "Dunno."

XXXXX

Nathyrra observed her daughter that night at dinner. The twelve-year-old was acting unusually surly that night, scowling and picking at her food.

"Ana, you haven't touched your food." Nathyrra pointed out.

"So?" Ana growled.

Nathyrra bristled. "Why not?"

"I dunno." Ana responded.

AJ grinned. "She's anorexic."

Ana glared at him, her eyes crimson with anger. "Why don't you go fuck a crag cat?" she snapped.

Ano spoke before Nathyrra could. "Go to your room!"

"Whatever." Anathyrra said uncaringly and left the table.

Ano stared after his daughter. _What's wrong with her?_

XXXXX

That night, Ano could not sleep. He turned his head to look at the backside of his wife. "Nat?"

"Hm?" she grunted.

"Are you awake?"

"I am now." She rolled over. "What is it?"

"I'm worried about Ana."

"How so?" Nathyrra asked, yawning.

"She's been rather moody lately. It's unusual. What's wrong with her?"

"Ano, don't worry about it. Her thirteenth birthday is coming soon…it's normal for someone her age to act like that."

"AJ isn't acting like her."

"Well, Ana's the older twin."

"I guess you're right…"

"Good. Now go to sleep. You're taking the twins to school tomorrow. I have to work."

"Do I have to take Hali and Res too?"

"No, their mothers are taking them." Nathyrra said as she closed her eyes.

"Okay." He paused for a minute. "I love you."

"I love you too but let me sleep."

XXXXX

The next day, Nathyrra bent down and hugged AJ then reached up and kissed Ano. "Bye, Sweetie." She took out a teleportation scroll and cast the spell.

When Nathyrra had completely faded away, Ano checked the time. "AJ, go tell your sister to hurry up or else we'll be late."

A few minutes later AJ came back. "She won't come out of the bathroom."

"Why not?"

"She won't tell me."

Ano frowned and walked upstairs. "Ana! Come on! We're gonna be late!" he called outside the bathroom door.

"I'm not coming out!"

"Fine. I'm coming in." He started to chant a knock spell.

A scowling Ana opened the door before he could finish.

"Now what's wrong?" he asked.

Her face turned bright red.

"Ana?" A confused Ano asked.

Wearing an expression of pure mortification, Ana picked up a pencil and a notepad and wrote a sentence down. Ano took the notepad and began to read aloud. "Dad, I have just started my period." He stared at his daughter, astonished. "You…you…"

"I got my first period!" She cried, half-hysterical.

"Calm down, Precious."

"What do I do?" she shouted.

"Didn't your mother tell you anything?"

"I can't remember it!" Ana yelled, her eyes filled with tears.

"Hey! Hey! Precious, don't cry." He put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I'll go raid your Mom's bathroom for something to help you."

Ana nodded. "Okay."

"Just wait here." Ano commanded and walked away. When he reached Nathyrra's bathroom, he began to search for something to help Ana. "Let's see," Ano said to himself, "Aspirin, Prozac, plastic razor, contraceptives, cotton balls…Midol?" He held up the bottle and examined it. "Does make the blood stop flowing? No wait, it's only for cramps." He continued searching. "Mouth wash, spare toothbrush, shampoo…Edible underwear?" He held up the garment. "I never knew she had any of these." He examined it closer. "Hey! It's cherry." Ano shook his head. "No. Focus, Derlyn." He finally found something useful. "Tampons!" He cried cheerfully and closed the cabinet.

Ana stared at her father as he returned. "Dad! I can't use those!"

"Why not? Your mother uses them."

"Do you have any idea wear I'm supposed to put those?" she exclaimed.

Ano gave her a blank look. Sighing, Ana reached and whispered something in her father's ear. His eyes bulged. "Oh! So that's where they go…"

Ana raised an eyebrow. "You've been with Mom for about fourteen years, didn't you ever learn anything?"

"I never paid attention." Anotalex shook his head. "Let's go get you some kotexes."

XXXXX

"This is great! We get to miss school because Ana's hormones are broken!" AJ cried gleefully a few minutes later in the carriage.

Ana glared at him. "Burn in hell."

"Ana…" Ano warned.

They reached the store. "Let's go." Ano commanded.

"I'm not coming." Ana stated.

"Why not?"

"I refuse."

Ano sighed. "Fine." He and AJ walked towards the store.

XXXXX

Ano and AJ stopped in front of the feminine products isle. Despite all of his years of marriage, Ano had only been forced to go down this isle once or twice. Now he was scared out of his wits. "Well, AJ, you get your sister's 'necessities' and I'll just go get a carton of milk…"

AJ reached out and grabbed his father's sleeve to keep him from walking away. "No way, dude. I'm going down there alone."

"Uh…it'll be a test of courage!"

"So let's test your courage too." AJ said and lead his father down the isle. Ano's gaze fell upon the products. He broke into a sweat. "Too…much…PINK!" He cried.

"Dad…" AJ said fearfully.

Ano crushed his son in a giant hug. "Hold me!"

"Bah! Ano, get off me!" AJ shoved his father away. "Look, man, I'M supposed to be the kid, YOU'RE supposed to act like an adult! Now quit whining and face this like a man!"

"I don't wanna be a man!" Ano put on an insane grin. "I'll get a sex change! Then I'll be fearless when I walk down this isle!"

AJ backhanded him. "Snap out of it, Anotalex!"

"Thanks, Buddy. I needed that." Ano admitted.

AJ slapped him again.

"What the hell was that for?" Ano yelled indignantly.

AJ shrugged. "I dunno."

Ano frowned.

AJ scanned the shelves. "I can't find any. Maybe we should just ask one of the workers…?"

"No, let's just go to another store." Ano said hastily and ran towards the exit.

XXXXX

It took some heavy persuasion from AJ to make his father go down the isle again at the next store. They were unsuccessful in finding the product. AJ started to walk towards one of the store workers.

"AJ! What are you doing!" Ano shouted.

AJ rolled his eyes and walked towards the woman.

She smiled at the boy just as Ano ran over to AJ. "May I help you?"

"Do you have kotexes?"

She blinked at AJ's request but answered anyway. "I'm sorry, we just ran out. You should try our store on the other side of town."

XXXXX

The third time, they successfully acquired the product. The clerk stared at Ano when he saw the kotexes.

Ano glared at him. "They're for my daughter."

The man nodded. "Paper or plastic?"

XXXXX

When the three arrived home, Nathyrra was waiting for them.

Ano blinked. "You're home early."

Nathyrra shrugged. "It was a simple assignment." She stared at the twins. "Why are our children home?"

Ana scowled and muttered something. It was incomprehensible to Anotalex but his wife's acute sense of hearing picked it up. The drow's eyes widened and she herded Ana towards the bathroom.

Ano ran his fingers through his hair. "I…I think I need to go lie down." He said, a bit disoriented.

AJ grinned mischievously, seeing the advantage of the situation. "Can I have a can of frosting for lunch?"

"Sure, Snuggles." Ano said, now completely unfocused.

The dog looked up from the bone he was chewing. _Poor Ano. He's lost it now that Ana is in heat._

XXXXX

A half hour later, Nathyrra walked into her room. Anotalex was sitting on the bed, a bottle of wine in one hand, a wineglass in the other. Nathyrra strode over and took the bottle and glass away. Ignoring her husband's protests, she put them back where they belonged.

"What was that for?" Ano asked mournfully.

"So I can talk to my husband while he's sober rather than intoxicated."

"I needed a drink after what I went through."

"Surely it wasn't that bad-"

"We went to three stores. That's three trips down a feminine products isle, Kitten!"

She rolled her eyes. "You fought a medusa, a lizard queen, the woman you once loved, and a duke of Hell but you're frightened of the feminine products isle?"

"There's something evil about that isle…"

She shook her head. "You're so strange."

"And that's why you love me." Ano said, grinning.

Nathyrra rolled her eys and reached down to kiss him. A slight cough was heard from the doorway. The couple looked up. Their son stood in the entryway. "Ana needs you, Mom."

Nathyrra stood up. Ano frowned as she did so. Nathyrra smiled. "Later." she promised and left the room.

XXXXX

The next day, Ano gazed at his daughter. Ana was wearing a t-shirt with the phrase 'Piss Off' on the front—a midwinter present from Drak—eating a pint of Chocolate chip ice-cream, wearing a disgruntled scowl, and watching 'Oprah Winnblade' on PV.

"You look so much like your mother." Ano commented.

"I'm not quite sure if that's compliment considering my current state."

"Neither am I, now that I think about it."


	10. Chapter Thirteen

m: In case anyone is wondering, P.L.I.A.C stands for Pompous Little Intelligent Anti Christ. 'Overdrive' belongs to Katy Rose. 'Breaking the Habit' belongs to Linkin Park. 'For You' belongs to Staind.

Chapter Thirteen

"Are we there yet?" asked a bored AJ.

"We get there when we get there." Anotalex replied and continued driving.

"AJ, aren't you a bit old to play the 'Are we there yet' game?" Ana asked.

"Aren't YOU a bit old to…eat snacks right after school?"

"That was terrible, AJ." Ana said flatly.

"Both of you stop it." Nathyrra snapped.

"Listen to your mother, Kids." Ano added.

"That was kinda redundant, Dad." AJ pointed out.

"Be quiet." Ano snapped. We should reach your uncle's house in about thirty minutes."

"Great." Ana said sarcastically.

XXXXX

"Hey there." Joragin greeted. He grinned and hugged his brother, sister-in-law, niece, and nephew.

"Hey Uncle Jor." AJ greeted. "Where's Tam?"

"He's around here somewhere." He motioned for everyone to come in.

XXXXX

Nathyrra walked into the kitchen. The rest of the family was elsewhere. Ano was with Joragin and several other guests in the common room, Anathyrra was with Delilah, and AJ was with Tamorlyn.

"Hello, Sharwyn." Nathyrra said to the woman.

"Hey, Nat. I'll be with you in a second." She turned towards the year-old child sitting in a high stool. "Come on, Pliac, it's good for you." She coaxed, trying to get the boy to eat a spoonful of baby food.

Pliac glared at her. "How dare you fill my head with such loathsome propaganda! Continue to do such and I shall be forced to dispose of you."

"You'll grow up to be big and strong like your father." Sharwyn pleaded.

Pliac snorted. "Yes, there's nothing more I desire than to resemble that paternal imbecile. Do you honestly believe-" before he could finish, Sharwyn put the spoon in his mouth while he was speaking.

Pliac gaped at her in open shock. "What the hell is wrong with you? You dare to place such a vile substance in my mouth? You shall pay for that, you heartless witch!"

"Perhaps he's teething," Nathyrra suggested, "Maybe that's why he doesn't want to eat."

Sharwyn shook her head. "He's not teething. I'm not worried though, Del did the same thing when she was his age."

"I will not sit here and be compared to that pathetic girl! Get me out of this seat, woman, I have more important matters to attend to."

Sharwyn smiled and put Pliac down on the floor. "There you go, Sweetie."

"Victory is mine!" Pliac ran out of the room. _Now then, to find that buffoon of an uncle and learn how he managed to take over a country. His tactics could be a great asset to my plans for world domination._

Sharwyn grabbed a rag and began cleaning the area on the chair where Pliac had spit up his food.

"Do you need help?" Nathyrra asked.

"No thank you." She looked at the rag and scowled. "I'm just glad that this isn't one of those gag rags with black ink in them."

"What?"

"Tamorlyn is going through his 'prank stage'."

"Ah. AJ did the same thing when he was eight."

"I know. It's driving the rest of the family mad. Joragin especially."

"That's not good."

"What do you mean?"

"Ano almost turned into the slayer."

Sharwyn dropped the rag. "WHAT?"

"You've never seen Jor turn into the slayer, have you?"

Sharwyn shook her head. "He's managed to keep his temper in check for all these years. Amazing really."

"Thirty-six years without becoming the slayer? That's impressive."

"Thirty-seven. Today's his birthday, remember?"

"Really? Ano only lasted for twenty-six years. Apparently it was Aribeth's death that drove him over the edge." Nathyrra stated, a hint of irritation in her tone.

Sharwyn smirked. "You still hate her, don't you?"

"I do not hate her. I merely loathe her entire being and wish that she had remained dead. I am also quite pleased that we have not come into contact for about nine years."

Sharwyn rolled her eyes.

Nathyrra reached into her pocket and produced a holy symbol of Eilistraee. "Here. Use this if he ever does turn into the slayer."

Sharwyn took the item. "Thanks but don't you need one?"

"I can always get another one at work."

"That's good. Oh! I just remembered, is Ano any good at carpentry?"

"Gods no. The last thing he tried to build was two beds and he ended up having to buy some for the twins rather than build them. That was ten years ago."

"It must run in the family then. Damn. I was hoping he could help Jor."

Nathyrra arched an eyebrow. "With what?"

"Joragin has started building a tool shed in the backyard. He doesn't need it, he'll never use it, and he certainly can't build it but he **wants** it."

Nathyrra sighed in exasperation. "What is it with men and trying to build things when they can't? That goes for fixing things as well. I remember, A few years ago, Ano accidentally split the dinner table in half while cutting meat. My husband insisted on fixing it himself and managed to blow up half of the kitchen."

"How did he do that?"

"One word."

"What?"

"Magic."

"Ah."

XXXXX

Drak was about to tell a joke when Pliac walked in. "So a pirate walks into a bar…"

"Hey there, Pliac." Joragin greeted and pulled the child into his lap.

"Bah! Release me, you idiotic patriarch! I demand to see your sibling at once!" Pliac cried.

"You wanna see Uncle Ano? Okay." Joragin handed Pliac to Anotalex.

Ano grinned. "Hey, little guy."

Pliac scowled. "Hmph. I shall overlook your mockery of my height on one condition." He raised his fist in a threatening manner and grabbed Ano's shirt. "Enlighten me on how you conquered Amn. NOW!"

"Whoa. Someone needs a nap." Joragin declared and picked up Pliac. Pliac snarled in frustration as he was carried out of the room. "Damn it all! I will prevail! You will tell me your secret, Anotalex Derlyn!" Pliac shouted.

"Bye, Pliac!" Ano called after him. Ano, Sarevok, Imoen, Jaheira, Linu, Daelan, and Tomi resumed their conversations.

XXXXX

Ana and Delilah walked into Delilah's room. Del stopped Ana before she sat down. "Wait."

The thirteen-year-old arched an eyebrow at Del.

Del reached under the cushion and pulled out a whoopee cushion. The twelve-year-old gritted her teeth in annoyance. "Tam, you little freak, get out of my room!" Del began searching the room. "Where is he?"

"THEY are up there." Ana replied. Del gave her a confused look. Ana pointed at the ceiling. Del looked up to see AJ standing on the ceiling, holding onto Tamorlyn.

Delilah glared at the two boys. "Get out. NOW!"

"Talk about pissy." AJ muttered as jumped down.

"She's always like that." Tamorlyn informed AJ.

"Get out my room, loser." Del snapped.

They left the room. Del rolled her eyes and sat down. "He's been going through this whole 'prank stage'. It's freaking obnoxious."

"I know. AJ did the same thing when he was eight. I ended up eating laxatives."

"What did you do?"

"I dyed my Mom's hair pink and blamed it on him."

"Ooh…that's not a bad idea…"

"I don't think Aunt Sharwyn would be _too_ distressed if her hair was dyed pink. After all, she puts fake highlights in her hair."

"Yeah. Ya know, I wanted dye my hair blonde but she wouldn't let me. When I brought up the fact that she puts highlights in her hair, she grounded me for a week. Hypocrite." Delilah declared, idly twisting one of her wavy, red locks around her finger.

"That sucks." Ana commented.

Delilah suddenly grinned. "You know what we should do?"

"What?"

"Can I give you a makeover? It'd be so much fun!" Del exclaimed cheerfully.

"Yeah! Sounds great!" Ana cried brightly.

"Really?"

"No." Ana said flatly.

"Fine. Be that way." Delilah walked over to the wisp and whispered several commands. Music began playing.

_Yeah, Yeah, Yeah I'm independence_

_Yeah, Yeah, yeah I'm borderline_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm California_

_My mind's all smeared and upside down_

_But my heart's on overdrive_

Ana immediately switched the station.

_I sit here locked inside my head_

_Remembering everything you said_

_The silence gets us nowhere_

_Gets us nowhere_

_Gets us nowhere_

_Way too fast_

Del frowned and switched the station. Ana raised an eyebrow. "Can we compromise?" She switched the station again.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for_

_Or why I have to scream_

_I don't why I instigate to say what I don't mean_

_I don't know how I got how I got this way_

_I know it's not alright_

_So I'm breaking the habit_

_I'm breaking the habit_

_Tonight_

They looked at each other and nodded.

XXXXX

Pliac scowled and paced back and forth in his room. "Damn it. How can I extract the information I require?" He smiled as a sudden thought struck him. "Perfect! If I perform that, then my moronic older brother will take the blame."

XXXXX

Ano walked towards the dining room. Unknown to them, Pliac stood on the stairs above them. _Now is the time to strike. _Pliac dragged one of his father's scimitars towards the edge. After checking to make sure that it was sheathed and would only cause blunt damage, Pliac dropped the sword over the edge. The item met its target, Ano's head. The dragon disciple's eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed, unconscious.

"AHA! Victory is mine!" Pliac did a little victory dance.

"Ano?" asked a familiar voice.

Pliac immediately canceled his dance. "Blast!"

Drak flew over to the unconscious sorcerer. "Wonderful, just wonderful. That's blow to the head is probably gonna make him even stupider." Sighing, Drak turned into a human and began dragging Ano towards the kitchen.

Pliac was steaming. "Damn that dragon! Next time I shall get rid of him before targeting Anotalex…"

XXXXX

"Oh for Eilistraee's sake! What happened to him this time?" Nathyrra growled as Drak pulled Ano into the dining room.

"Apparently Tamorlyn and AJ thought it would be fun to play a prank on him." Drak replied.

"Are you sure it was them?" asked Daelan.

"Who else would do that?" Drak asked.

Jaheira stood up. Linu started to stand as well but the druid shook her head and motioned for Linu to stay where she was. Jaheira knelt down next to Ano. "He'll be alright."

Tomi started roaring with laughter. Linu glared at him. "Why am I not surprised that you find this funny? The poor man is unconscious and all you can do is laugh."

"I'd pickpocket him if his wife weren't in the room. And she knows what she's doing with those knives of hers. Nasty little buggers."

Nathyrra glared at him and knelt down next to her husband.

Joragin stood up. "I'm gonna go speak with Tam and AJ."

All of a sudden, the sound of an explosion filled the air.

XXXXX

"This is gonna be so cool." Tam declared.

"Will it really work?" AJ asked.

"Of course. These are premium firecrackers." Tamorlyn declared. He pulled the string. Much to the two boys' surprise, the firecracker shot into the air and crashed into the unfinished tool shed.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Tam and AJ dropped to the ground to avoid flying pieces of debris. Three minutes later, the cousins stood up. Tam paled at the ruins of the shed. "Dad's gonna be so pissed."

"TAMORLYN ANOMEN DERLYN!" Joragin shouted when he saw the rubble.

"ANOTALEX SEELAMIN DERLYN!" Nathyrra screamed.

AJ and Tamorlyn both smiled sheepishly.

XXXXX

"Wow, AJ. That's the fifty-sixth thing you've managed to blow up this year." Ana noted a while later in the carriage.

"Shut up." AJ hissed.

"Can it, both of you." Nathyrra spat. "As soon as your father wakes up, we'll discuss your punishment."

AJ glanced at his unconscious father in the front passenger seat. A sly smile played across his lips.

"And don't even think of casting a sleep spell on him. I'll know if you did."

"Dang it."


	11. Chapter Fourteen

m: 'Hit That' belongs to the Offspring.

BloodyKitsune: Talexia gets around. That's all I'm saying. Read 'The Price of Acceptance' :p

Guan: Ah yes, Pliac. I have plans for him…if I'm able to write a NWN 2 fic, that is.

shadow0015: Children are truly evil. The problem is, you can't prove it because they're so cute. It's like a subliminal message of some sort. About aisle 9, I agree, there's something evil about it. I mean, I'm a female and I find it creepy. (shudders)

**To all the reviewers: **I just wanna say,thank you for taking the time to review my stories. I've gotten in trouble recently because of my fics and y'all have no idea how much it means to me to know that they're appreciated in all of their crazy, dramatic, amusing, disgusting, romantic, stupid, exciting, wonder. You guys rock. (Giant hugs)

Chapter Fourteen

Anotalex and Nathyrra sat in the kitchen. "The kids will be home in a few minutes." Ano commented.

"Uh-huh." Nathyrra said nonchalantly.

The door burst open. AJ ran in. "GUESS WHAT? ANA-"

At that moment, his fourteen-year-old twin ran in and tackled him. "SHUT UP!"

"Ana! Don't tackle your brother!" Ano commanded.

"What were you saying, AJ?" Nathyrra asked.

AJ started to say something but Ana covered his mouth with her hand. "Mom, can I talk to you in the other room?"

Nathyrra arched an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Please…" Ana pleaded.

Nathyrra sighed and started walking towards the door.

Ana turned towards AJ. "If you say anything, I will personally make sure that every animal you ever come into contact with will try to disembowel you, for the rest of your life."

Snuggles looked up.

Ana glanced at the terrier. "Except for Snuggles. He's a pacifist…sorta."

XXXXX

"Alright, Ana, what's this all about?" Nathyrra asked a few minutes later.

Ana sighed. "I got asked out by a boy. His name is Kenny. He wants to go see a portalvid on Friday. He's a nice guy."

Nathyrra's face broke into a wide grin. She hugged her daughter. "Ana! This is great news! Invite him over on Friday, I wan to meet him."

"Yeah, well…there's one problem."

"What?"

"Dad."

Nathyrra smiled. "Don't worry; I'll talk to your father."

XXXXX

"So what was that all about?" Ano asked later that night. AJ and Ana were asleep and Nathyrra and Anotalex were preparing to go to sleep as well.

"What are you talking about?" Nathyrra asked as she turned the page to the book she was reading.

"What was AJ shouting about?"

"Oh that. Apparently, Ana was asked to go see a portalvid on Friday."

"With Hali?" Ano asked hopefully.

"With a _boy_, Anotalex." _Maybe he'll react well. Oh who am I kidding? He's going to have a stroke._

Ano's jaw dropped. "WHAT?"

_I rest my case. _"A boy asked her to go out with him. Oh, you might want to close your mouth before Snuggles decides to use it as a dog house or something like that."

Ano closed his mouth. His silence only lasted for a short while. "Are you insane? She's only fourteen!"

"Which is a perfectly acceptable age for dating."

"She's too young!"

"No she's not."

"She's…too old!"

"What are you talking about? Ano, don't worry. Ana tells me that Kenny is a nice boy-"

"What if she has sex with him?"

"Anotalex-"

"What if she gets drunk, sleeps with him, and gets pregnant? Then what if Kenny dumps her, they don't see each other for twenty years, and then Kenny comes back and kills her? Then what if her child becomes a conqueror and kills Kenny, only to discover that-"

"Anotalex! First of all, she's not going to sleep with him. Second of all, she's part-drow; she'll be fine with the boy. Third of all, she is NOT your mother."

"She's a descendant!"

"Ano-" Nathyrra abruptly stopped.

"What is it?" Ano asked.

"Ana, AJ, come here please. I know you're there." Nathyrra stated.

AJ dropped his invisibility spell and Ana stepped out of the shadows.

"We were just having a discussion." Nathyrra assured them.

"Pretty loud discussion." AJ noted.

"Yes…well…go back to sleep. We'll be quieter."

"Okay." Ana and AJ said in unison. They started to leave.

"Stop right there, young lady." Ano ordered.

Ana stopped and turned around.

"Why didn't you tell me? Ana! I want to know immediately when a boy asks you on a date! I mean, what do you even know about this boy?"

"Well, Dad, if you're gonna act like this then it's not much incentive to tell you anything!"

Ano continued his rant as though he had not heard her. "I want a urine sample and a police record! Who knows what he's done before? I want records!"

"Dad, he's on the school council. I doubt-"

"URINE SAMPLE AND POLICE RECORD!"

"Ano, shut up." Nathyrra commanded. Ano scowled and fell silent. Nathyrra addressed her daughter. "Go to bed, Ana. I'll speak with your father."

The twins left.

Nathyrra glared at Ano. "Urine sample?"

"It's a perfectly valid request!"

"Ano, I'm going to make this very clear; I will not even SLEEP with you until you say that Ana can go on Friday."

"WHAT? That is completely unfair!"

"That's the way it is, Ano."

"Fine. I can go without sex for awhile."

"How about ten months?"

"…I can do that."

"No you can't."

"What makes you think you can?"

"Sex is more emotional than physical for women. Just knowing that someone wants to have sex with me fulfills the emotional need."

"Alright then, I don't wanna have sex with you."

"You're lying, Ano. Even if you were telling the truth, that would make you one less out of a thousand males."

"Full of yourself, aren't you?"

"I'm just stating a fact." Nathyrra said, grinning.

"Alright! Alright! Ana can go."

Nathyrra smiled and kissed Ano's cheek. "Good."

XXXXX

That Friday, a knock was heard at the door. "That's Kenny!" Ana cried excitedly and ran to the door. A few minutes later, Ana walked into the common room with a short, red-haired boy. "This is Kenny."

Nathyrra smiled. "Hello, Kenny."

"You know AJ." Ana continued.

"Hey, Kenny." AJ greeted.

"And this is my father." Ana gestured to Ano.

Kenny's eyes widened at the sight of the tall, muscular dragon disciple.

Ano held out his hand. "Kenny."

"S-Sir." Kenny stammered and shook Ano's hand.

Ten minutes later, the family and Kenny were still sitting in the common room. When he was sure no one was looking, Ano sat down next to Kenny. He leaned in close so that only Kenny could hear him. "You see that little girl over there, boy?" Ano gestured towards Ana.

Kenny nodded nervously.

Ano smiled. "That's my only little girl. She's my entire life. So if you get any thoughts about…kissing…and hugging, I want you remember these words." Ano lowered his voice. "I've been to both prison and hell and I'm not afraid to go back to either one."

Kenny paled. "Y-Yes, S-Sir."

XXXXX

"Well, we should be going." Ana announced.

Ano watched as they walked to the door. His eyes bulged when he saw that Kenny and Ana's hands were intertwined. He stared walking towards them. Nathyrra saw this. _Damn it. _"Snuggles." She hissed and started walking towards the door.

A loud crash was heard. "OW! Damn it!"

Ano spun around. Nathyrra sat on the floor, nursing a sprained ankle.

"Nat! What happened?" Ano cried.

"I tripped over Snuggles." she admitted.

"Mom, are you alright?" Ana asked.

"I'll be fine. Go on your date."

Ana glanced at Snuggles. Snuggles spoke to her telepathically. _Don't worry; Nat's trying to save Kenny from Ano. Go!_

"She'll be alright. Let's go, Kenny." Ana said to the boy.

As soon as they left, Ano scooped Nathyrra into his arms. "Let's get you upstairs. I'll get a medkit."

"Ano, put me down. I'm fine."

"What?"

Nathyrra freed herself from Ano's arms and started walking towards the kitchen.

Ano gaped at her. "You're not hurt at all! You were faking it!"

"Please, I fake things all the time." Nathyrra shot back and walked out of the room.

AJ smirked. "Ouch. She just dissed you, Dad."

"Go to your room." Ano snarled.

"Sure thing…Speedy." AJ ran away before Ano could reach him.

XXXXX

Three weeks later, Ana was on her third date with Kenny. Ano sat in front of the door, bastard sword in his left hand, mace in his right. He was waiting for Ana to come home.

AJ was playing music in the other room.

_The winds of fortune  
Don't blow the same  
She had to get out  
And make a change  
She had a kid now  
But much too young  
That baby daddy's out having fun_

He's saying  
I'm on a roll  
With all the girls I know  
His baby's momma  
She ain't so slow  
He's saying  
I'm on a roll  
With all the girls I know  
I know you wanna hit that  
I know you wanna hit that hit that  
All the world is gettin' with, I say  
Consequences are a lot, but hey  
That's the way it  
That's the way things go

What was a family  
Is now a shell  
We're raising kids now  
Who raise themselves  
Sex is a weapon  
It's like a drug  
It gets him right into that grave that he just dug

She's saying  
I'm on the run  
I'm chasing guys for fun  
Her baby's daddy  
It ain't his only one  
She's saying  
I'm on the run  
I'm chasing guys for fun  
I know you wanna hit that  
I know you wanna hit that hit that  
Everybody's gettin' with, I say  
Consequences are a lot, but hey  
That's the way it  
That's the way things go

Well it winds up  
Broken up  
Really such a shame  
But why not  
Take a chance  
Everything's a game  
And it don't stop  
Hooking up  
Nothing's gonna change  
The more he's trying  
The more he's buying

He says  
I'm on a roll  
With all the girls I know  
His baby's momma  
Don't need to know  
He's saying  
I'm on a roll  
With all the girls I know  
I know you wanna hit that  
I know you wanna hit that hit that  
All the world is gettin' with, I say  
Consequences are a lot, but hey  
That's the way it  
That's the way things go

"TURN THAT OFF!" Ano shouted.

"Sheesh." AJ muttered and turned it off.

A few minutes later, the door opened and Ana walked in. "Hey, Dad." She greeted.

"How was your date? Did he try anything? Did he? Answer me, Ana!"

"Dad, relax. I broke up with him."

"You did?" asked Nathyrra as she walked into the room.

Ana shrugged. "Yeah. He was a useless male."

"That's cold, Ana." AJ informed her.

"No, that's the truth. In a drow way I guess. Bye." Ana ran up the stairs to her room.

"See ya." AJ left as well.

Nathyrra raised an eyebrow at her retreating daughter's back. "What do you know? She broke up with him. She's more in touch with her heritage than I thought."

"Is that a good thing?" asked Ano.

"Depends on how you look at it."

Ano grinned.

Nathyrra quirked an eyebrow. "What are you smiling about?"

"She broke up with him." To Nathyrra's surprise, Ano swept her into a bone-crushing embrace and spun her around.

"Ano! You're going to crush my spine!" Nathyrra exclaimed.

"I don't care! I haven't been this happy since the day Ana was born!" Ano cried cheerfully.

Nathyrra rolled her eyes and freed herself from her husband's grip. "Enjoy it while it lasts. Ana's going to date a lot worse than Kenny."

"Yeah. She's gonna meet some scoundrel who used to be a murderer and fall for him because of his smart-alecky sense of humor and kind soul that lurks beneath his tough exterior." Anotalex said, rolling his eyes.

"It could happen." Nathyrra replied and started walking upstairs.


	12. Chapter Fifteen

m: For the record, I own AJ's song. On an unrelated note, it's my birthday. (gives everyone a slice of cake) XD

Shadow0015: Everything that Nat said was true. Very true. About the reviews, I never consider your reviews insane babbling. I love your reviews. It's like listening to a male version of myself. :D

Chapter Fifteen

"I can't believe you actually did it, Ana." said a shocked AJ.

"Well, I've been planning it for awhile." Ana said as she and her fifteen-year-old twin walked home.

AJ shook his head. "Mom's gonna be so pissed off at you."

"I'll deal with that when the time comes." Ana stated, putting a bandana on her head so as to cover her hair.

XXXXX

Anotalex smiled at his sleeping wife. Nathyrra had recently been on a three-day mission for the Seer and had arrived home at two hours past midnight. She was quite exhausted and had fallen asleep on the couch.

Ano moved towards the couch and pulled the blanket tighter around her. In doing this, the bottom of one of his wings brushed against the bottom of one of her feet. Her foot twitched and she mumbled something before turning over.

The dragon disciple blinked. He gently brushed his finger over the bottom of her foot. Nathyrra turned over once more. Ano grinned and repeated himself. She grumbled something else and brought her knee up to her chin. Ano poked her other foot. This time, she kicked him full force in the stomach.

"OWW! DAMMIT!" Ano cried out.

Nathyrra's eyes opened. She reached for the knife that wasn't there and whipped her head around to face Ano. Her expression softened when she saw her husband clutching his stomach. "What happened? Are you alright?"

"You just kicked me in your sleep."

"Are you alright?"

"I'll be fine." He grinned. "I didn't know you were ticklish, Kitten."

Nathyrra arched an eyebrow. "I'm not."

He brushed his finger against her foot.

Nathyrra glared at him as her foot involuntarily twitched. "Quit that!"

Ano grinned evilly and did it again.

"I command you to stop this instant!" Nathyrra ordered, trying hard not to smile.

Ano smirked. "Not ticklish, huh?"

She glared at him and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "How long have I been asleep?"

"About thirteen hours."

Nathyrra blinked. "Oh." Yawning, she threw the blanket onto the floor and stretched.

Ano's brow creased in confusion. "What happened to your jeans?" He asked, pointing at the large holes where her knees stood out.

"Oh. Enemy duerger weapon master swiped at my legs. I fell asleep when I came home and didn't change."

"Were you okay? Did he hurt you?" Ano asked, concerned.

Nathyrra smiled. "I'm fine. My pants however…"

"Oh." Ano grinned. "I thought you had stolen a pair of Ana's jeans."

Nathyrra rolled her eyes. "I do not understand our daughter sometimes. Apparently she's going through some sort of a 'punk' phase." Nathyrra shook her head. "Just last week I walked in on her cutting holes in all her jeans. When I ask why, she said, 'I dunno.'"

"She'll grow out of it, Nat."

"What if she doesn't? What becomes Kax?"

"She won't become Kax."

"If you say so." Nathyrra sighed. "I'm just waiting for her to come home one of these days with blue hair."

Ano smiled and sat down next to Nathyrra. He embraced her. "She won't do that."

The sound of a door slamming was heard. AJ walked into the room and dumped his backpack on the floor. "Hey." He blinked at Nathyrra. "Mom, are you wearing Ana's jeans?"

"Duerger."

"Ah."

Ana walked into the room. Her eyes widened when she saw her parents and she turned around.

"Hold on, Ana." Ano commanded. "Why the rush?"

"Homework. Gotta go." She started to leave.

"Stop." Nathyrra ordered.

Ana immediately stopped. Nathyrra stood up and walked over to her daughter. Ana quirked an eyebrow. "Are you wearing my jeans?"

"No, I'm not. Now then, why are you wearing a bandana?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Ana, you rarely wear one. Take it off."

Ana grimaced and removed the bandana.

Ano's mouth fell open in shock. AJ smirked. Nathyrra stared at her daughter. "YOU DYED YOUR HAIR BLUE?"

Anathyrra winced. "Yeah."

"WHY?"

"I thought it would be a nice change…"

Nathyrra was shaking with rage. Her breathing became quick and angry. Ana thought that she was going to spontaneously combust on the spot. Instead, Nathyrra said nothing and walked upstairs to her room.

AJ grinned. "Wow, Ana. We've only been home for less than four minutes and you've already pissed off Mom."

"Shut up." Ana snapped.

Ano looked at his daughter. "Ana, why did you…"

"I wanted to! Why can't I dye my hair blue? You dyed yours black and Aunt Sharwyn puts highlights in hers!"

"I dyed mine so that I could so that people wouldn't recognize me. Aunt Sharwyn…well…I've never asked. I don't have a death wish." He shook his head. "I'm going to discuss this with your mother."

A loud shriek was suddenly heard from upstairs. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! EILISTRAEE DAMMIT! AAAARRRGGGHHHH!"

Ano frowned. "That would be the sound of your mother, having a nervous collapse." He stood up and walked over to the couch. "This is me kicking you off the couch. I most-likely have to sleep here tonight while your mother sorts out her feelings."

"You, I think this calls for a song." AJ jumped up onto the couch and began to sing. "Ana's hair blue. She looks like something from the zoo. Because of this little fact, Mom has finally cracked-"

"Shut up." Ana and Ano said in unison.

XXXXX

Ano turned over on the couch, trying to sleep. He looked up and saw a light coming from upstairs. _What is she doing? _Ano got up and walked upstairs.

Nathyrra sat a desk, pouring over a list of documents.

"You should get some sleep, Nat." Ano pointed out.

"Why would I need sleep?" Nathyrra asked sharply. "After all, I've been sleeping for hours. During which our daughter did something DRASTIC TO HER HAIR!"

Ano walked over to his wife and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Calm down, Kitten." He murmured and began to rub her shoulders. Nathyrra groaned and ran her fingers through her hair. "What did I do wrong?"

"Neither of us did anything wrong, Nat. So her hair's blue…she can use a color spell to turn it back to brown, right?"

"Color spells won't work on it. Only a special dye. And I don't know where to get it." Nathyrra sighed and rested her chin in her hand. "The only thing I know is where to get more blue dye."

"You do?"

"No, but I'm sure Sharwyn does. And even if we did force her to change her hair back to normal, it wouldn't stop her. She's too stubborn."

An idea suddenly struck Ano. He grinned. "I have a brilliant idea."

"What is it?" Nathyrra asked tiredly.

"I'll tell you in the morning. We should get some sleep."

"Whatever. I don't want to move. I'll just sleep here." Nathyrra folded her arms on the desk and laid her head down.

"Kitten…"

"I've had worse. I spent five years sleeping on the floor when I was training to be an assassin."

Smiling despite himself, Ano ignored Nathyrra's protests and scooped her into his arms. "Let's go." He walked over to the bed and put her down.

"Stupid male." Nathyrra mumbled drowsily and turned over.

Ano smiled.

XXXXX

The next day, Ana was walking out of her school with AJ, Hali, and Res. Several comments had been made about Ana's new hair color, but she didn't care. AJ was talking with Resotyr. "…I'm telling you, Res, Ms. Tsicar is a racist!"

"Against what?" Res asked.

"Against the drow!" AJ continued his rant, "I swear, she gave Bmud Ssa a better grade than me on his essay on conjuring spells! And he wrote it four minutes before the class started!"

"How does that make her a racist?" Halieth asked.

"He's a full-blooded moon elf! When I asked her about the grade, she said nothing was wrong and that it was the correct grade."

"Are you sure you're not just a dumbass who's overreacting?" Ana drawled.

"I AM NOT OVERREACTING!" AJ shouted.

Several strangers turned around and looked at him.

"You are as embarrassing as Dad." Ana hissed.

"Ana!" cried a familiar voice.

Ana spun around. Ano got out of the carriage, revealing that his hair was now completely blue.

"No, I think Dad's the one with humiliation trophy." AJ noted.

Ana's jaw dropped. "Oh…my…fucking…gods."

Ano grinned as he approached. "Now we match!"

"But…but…"

"Let's go home." Ano smiled at Resotyr and Halieth. "Hey, Res. Hey, Hali."

"H-Hi Mr. Derlyn." They stammered.

XXXXX

That night, dinner was rather awkward. Ana kept glaring at her father. Ano returned her glares with a grin. Nathyrra found it hard to concentrate on her food. Ano's new hair had been a surprise to her as well.

AJ grinned at Nathyrra. "Hey Mom, can I dye my hair silver?"

"No." Nathyrra said flatly.

Anathyrra glared at Anotalex once more. Ano merely grinned.

Ana stood up. "That's it. I'm leaving." She stormed out of the room.

"Gotta go. Homework." AJ said and followed his sister out of the room.

As soon as her children had left, Nathyrra cocked an eyebrow at her husband. "How is this supposed to help?"

"Simple. She thought that dyeing her hair blue was cool. If she sees her father do it, she'll never try again." Ano stood up and began to leave.

Nathyrra also stood, and caught his arm. "You how stubborn she is."

"She'll break in time. She's like her mother." Ano said, winking.

Nathyrra frowned. "If anything, she takes after her father."

"How so?"

"I'm stubborn, but I don't break. You on the other hand…" Nathyrra smiled seductively and stroked his cheek. "Will shatter like glass with some…persuasion."

"Yes. I remember when Ana started dating Kenny." Ano grumbled bitterly.

"Good." Nathyrra reached up and kissed him. "I'm glad that my lessons stick."

XXXXX

"I can't believe Dad did that." Ana said the next day.

AJ walked with his twin as they made their way to the cafeteria. "I told you this would happen."

"No. You said that Mom would be pissed. You didn't say anything about Dad." She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "I need to do something,"

"Maybe you should talk to Mom."

Ana raised an eyebrow. "You know that I despise talking to her about stuff like this."

"Yeah, but she may have some ideas."

XXXXX

Ana sat outside in the backyard. Nathyrra sat down in front of her. "I'm going to teach you something a bit different, today"

"As long as it's not cleaning armor." Ana muttered. Nathyrra had started training Ana in her personal fighting style a few years ago. All Ana had done was clean armor, learn basic hand-to-hand combat, and fight mock battles with practice knives.

Nathyrra smirked. "No. I think you'll like this." She presented Ana with two, long daggers. Ana's eyes widened. She took the daggers. The knives were the exact weight she preferred. Sleek, long, and sharp. Ana frowned when she saw that the blades were black and the hilts, blue. _Very funny, Mom. _"You never let me use real knives before." Ana quirked an eyebrow. "Are you gonna train me to be an assassin?"

"No. You said that you wanted to be a ranger and I am going to respect that."

"Then…what are you teaching me?"

"I am teaching you how to kill in self-defense. Considering your father's and my past, you will probably have to fight someone in a real battle at least once in your life. I will teach you how to use your talent defensively, not offensively. An assassin is a killer, you will not be."

Ana nodded. They began to spar. An hour later, the fight ended. Nathyrra pressed a knife to Ana's throat. Ana scowled and dropped her weapon.

Nathyrra smiled. "You've improved."

"She has." agreed Ano. Ana looked at her father. Ano stood in the doorway, smiling with pride at his daughter. Ana's scowl deepened. Ano's smile widened and he walked back into the house.

Ana sighed. "Mom, can I talk to you?"

Nathyrra blinked in surprise. "Yes. Of course you can."

Ana frowned. "How can I get dad to turn his hair back to normal?"

"I would suggest that you turns yours back to brown. He will follow pursuit."

Ana blinked. "That's brilliant."

"Of course it is."

XXXXX

Ano walked into Ana's room. He stared at her, surprised. "You changed your hair back."

"Yeah." Ana idly tossed the bottle of brown dye into the air before catching it. "Blue hair didn't really work out for me."

"Ana."

"Yeah?"

"Can I borrow that bottle?"

Ana laughed and tossed him the bottle.

XXXXX

"Back to normal." Ano announced as he walked into his bedroom, his hair now brown.

Nathyrra smiled as he lay down next to her. "Good." She reached over and kissed him. "I missed the old you."

"Hmmm…what if I were to dye my hair black again?"

"Then I would start calling you 'Tymocallan'."

"Oh."

Nathyrra kissed him again. "And I've decided that I like the name 'Anotalex' the best."

"I'm happy with either one."

"Go to sleep, Anotalex."

"Yes, ma'am." Ano turned off the lights.


	13. Chapter Sixteen

m: Ana's traumatic experience concerning Nathyrra, Ano, and the hammock was inspired by That 70's Show. 'Gasoline' belongs to Seether.

shadow0015: She might have been aiming for his head. Hmmm…something to think about. Like Ano, AJ loves to piss off Nat. Like father like son, huh? ;-)

Chapter Sixteen

"…So did you get your permission slip signed?" Ana asked Hali as they walked towards their Outdoor education class. The class focused on the outdoors; landscapes, survival skills, and for some students; animal empathy or other abilities relating to nature. The class also explored arcane magic that was related to nature.

"Yep." Hali answered. "Six hours in the woods looking for rocks or something like that kicks the shit out of spending a day in school."

"Sure does." They entered the class and sat down near AJ and Res.

A few minutes later, Ana scowled. She could feel Philip Redspear staring at her. Last Midwinter, Ana had broken his wrist, but he continued to pursue her, much to the half-drow's agitation. _Idiotic, pompous male, _She thought irritably.

Mr. Druis stood in front of the class. "Please put your signed permissions slips on my desk." He commanded.

The students got up and placed their slips on Mr. Druis's desk. Philip walked over to Ana. "It's seems that we're both going on the field trip." He stated casually.

"We may both be going, but intend to stay about five miles away from you at all times."

Philip grinned. "Say what you want, but I know your _true_ feelings. You want me, admit it."

"I want you about as much as I want a life-threatening disease. Although you're hanging around me like a sickness." The sixteen-year-old spat.

"You enjoy every minute of it."

"I'm sorry, I don't speak bullshit." Ana shot back before sitting back down.

XXXXX

"Argh! Philip is pissing me off." An annoyed Ana declared after class.

"What's so bad about him exactly?" Hali asked.

"He's pompous, arrogant, obnoxious, stupid, a complete asshole, annoying, and he's driving me insane!"

"Sure he is."

Ana stopped in her tracks. "What do you mean by that?"

"I think you like him."

"I hate his guts!"

"You only think that. Why else would you be obsessing over him like this?" Hali asked slyly.

"I am NOT obsessing! He's just making me furious!"

"Can't say I blame you. He's not bad looking at all. Chocolate brown eyes, curly black hair, cute smile…"

"That's it. I'm leaving. Maybe my cousin will be of more use."

"How so?"

"Delilah knows a crapload about this sort of stuff. She might have some useful advice. The only thins she can't help me with is Nat and Dad."

"What's wrong with your parents?"

"Well, Nathyrra just got back from a two-week mission and now they're being all lovey-dovey, Kitten and Sweetie, and crap. It's nauseating."

"Kitten and Sweetie?"

"Their nicknames for each other."

"Better than my parents."

"What do they call each other?"

"Shnookums and Pooky."

"Yeah, but you didn't walk in on them-"

"Oh Gods! You saw them doing it?" Hali cried.

"No. I walked in on them dancing in the kitchen."

"Lucky." Hali shuddered. "I caught my parents in their room a few years ago."

"That's nothing. When I was eleven years old, I saw my parents in the backyard, in broad daylight, on the hammock."

"Yeah, but you're over it."

"I still remember little bits of naked skin showing through the holes of the hammock." A distant look formed in Ana's eyes.

"Ana, are you okay?"

"That hammock was where I used to read my Nancy Dragoneye books. I went back inside. An hour later, Nat and Dad came back in. There was this checker pattern all over their skin. When I asked about it, my dad laughed and said that they'd fallen asleep in the hammock. But I knew it was a lie. I know what he did to my mom!"

"Ana, I think you better go home now…"

XXXXX

Ano grinned and sat down on the couch, next to Nathyrra. "Hey, Kitten."

She smiled. "Hello, Sweetie." She reached towards him and pressed a kiss to his lips. He returned the kiss, gently pushing her back down onto the couch.

Snuggles walked into the room and sat down in front of the couch, wagging his tail. Ano broke away from Nathyrra. "The dog's watching us…"

"So?" Nathyrra pulled him back towards her.

The sound of a door slamming made them jump away from each other in surprise. Ano scowled. "Kids are home." He got up and sat down on one of the arm chairs.

AJ walked into the room. "Hey, Mom, can I borrow your scroll for summoning demons?"

"NO," was Nathyrra's immediate answer.

Grumbling something about never being able to manipulate the denizens of the lower planes, AJ left the room.

Ana arched an eyebrow at Snuggles. _My parents were just doing it, weren't they?_

_If you had arrived five minutes later, they would have. Ya know, Ano's actually better than Nat give him credit for-_

_OKAY! Too much info!_

_You don't want to know about your parents mating?_

_NO!_

"Ana?" Nathyrra asked.

"I was talking to Snuggles." She said as she left, running trembling fingers through her hair.

XXXXX

"Hello?" Delilah asked as she answered her wisp.

"Hey, Del. It's Ana."

"Hey, Ana. What's up?"

Ana sighed. "I have a problem."

"Oh?" Delilah grinned. "Do tell."

"This boy named Philip keeps pissing me off. He will not stop hitting on me, though I've made it clear that I'm not interested. I even broke his wrist!"

Delilah winced. "He's still won't stop bothering you?"

"Yes."

"Well, maybe you should just try ignoring him."

"It's hard."

"Try anyway. By the way, what does he look like?"

"Just a minute." Ana grabbed her old school yearbook off the shelf and pointed at Philip's picture.

Delilah's eyes widened. "Oh my gods, Ana! He's totally hot!"

"He's obnoxious! I hate him!"

Delilah grinned. "I think you like him…"

"I'd like to see him dead!"

"Uh-huh. It makes perfect sense, actually. You hate him, only to discover that you're nuts about him."

Anathyrra frowned. "You've been watching too many of those stupid cliché romance portalvids."

"They're not stupid. They're quite enlightening. In fact, my 'Toril Teen' magazine is why I broke up with Sean."

"Well, you should have broken up with him anyway. He didn't seem like a particularly good guy."

"Yeah, but he wrote a song for me after I dumped him. Wanna hear it?"

"Why not?"

Delilah began to play the song.

_Last night I saw that beauty queen  
Watched her paint her face on  
I wanna be that magazine  
That she bases life on  
I wanna waste her monthly blood  
Wanna get some on my love  
Wanna get some gasoline  
And burn the house down_

She's got nothing to say  
She's got bills to pay  
She's got no one to hate   
Except for me

Last night I saw that beauty queen  
She's getting high on Revlon  
I wanna be that magazine  
That she wastes her life on  
I wanna waste her monthly blood  
Wanna get some on my love  
Wanna get some gasoline  
And burn the house down

She's got nothing to say  
She's got bills to pay   
She's got no one to hate  
Except for me  
Me.

Ana blinked. "What did you think of it?"

"I was rather flattered actually."

Ana raised an eyebrow. "You are so shallow sometimes, it astounds me."

"Hmph."

XXXXX

The class stood in the woods. Mr. Druis began to speak. "I will assign each of you partners."

A loud chorus of groans was heard.

Mr. Druis ignored them. "I have compiled a list of scavenger hunt items. The first team to find all of them gets the prize. The boundaries of the area are marked by blue flags. I'm going to sort you into groups." He began reading a list. "Megan and Terry. Paul and Dan. Will and Grace. Laverne and Shirley. Jake and Reese. AJ and Res. Hali and Kim. Ana and Philip. Eddie and Zack."

Ana sighed. "Why me?"

Philip sauntered towards the half-drow. "We're partners. How appropriate."

"Whatever." Ana stated, deliberately hitting him with one of her wings as she went to get the list.

XXXXX

"Let's see. We need a leaf from a Kaseret tree." Ana declared. She glared at Philip. "Are listening to me?"

"I was distracted by your beauty, my winged treasure."

Ana groaned. "Little lesson for you, if you want to compliment a woman, speak from your heart, not your pecker."

"I just don't understand why you don't like me."

"Do I have to spell it out for you? You're an obnoxious asshole."

"Can I help it if I'm attracted to you? Every time you look at me, you set my nerves on fire with your green gaze."

Ana turned around. "Alright, for starters, my eyes are naturally blue. But right now they're red, which isn't a good thing, Philip. And another thing, keep bothering me and I'll set you aflame for real."

A low growl sounded behind Ana. Philip eyes widened and he pointed behind her.

Ana blinked. "There's a hostile animal behind me, isn't there?"

Philip nodded.

Ana spun around. A large grizzly bear growled at her. She immediately reached out with her empathy.

A large mix of jumbled thoughts spilled into her mind. _Kill. Kill. Crazy. Sick. Elf bad. Human bad. Threat. Mad. Disease. KILL!_

Ana quickly severed her connection with the animal. "RUN!" She shouted at Philip.

The two teens ran until they came to a dead end in the forest. A large, rocky cliff wall stood in front of them. Ana looked at the wall. _I could scale that. But I can't carry Philip with me. He's an ass, but I won't let him die. _She looked at the bear. _I can't kill the bear. I don't have a weapon and I haven't memorized any spells that could assist me._

Panic was clear on Philip's face. "We're gonna die!"

"No we're not! I'll think of something." Ana shouted in reply.

"Well…in case we do, will you kiss me? Just once?"

Ana stared at him. He gave her a pleading look.

The half-drow scowled. "Vith." She muttered before grabbing Philip by the lapels and pressing a hard, forceful kiss to his mouth.

The sound of the bear roaring made them both break away from each other. The bear fell down, revealing a crossbow bolt protruding from his back. Behind the corpse, stood all of the students and Mr. Druis. Mr. Druis held a crossbow and all the students stared at Ana and Philip in open shock.

Ana's eyes widened and her face turned red with embarrassment. _Eilistraee help me._

XXXXX

"Have fun on the field trip?" Nathyrra asked slyly as Ana walked into the kitchen after school.

Ana gaped at her. "How did you know?"

"Hali's mother told me." Nathyrra said, grinning. "I think it's cute. Our daughter's finally growing up."

Ano's eyes were crimson. He ran over to Ana and began shaking her shoulders. "Did he get under your shirt? Answer me, young lady!"

"OW! DAD!" Ana pushed him away. "NO! I just kissed him because I thought we were gonna die!"

"Well, Ana, this should be a good lesson for you to always carry around either a knife or to memorize a spell." Nathyrra pointed out.

Ana stormed out of the room, seething with anger. As soon as she reached her room, she collapsed on the bed and screamed, "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! EILISTRAEE DAMMIT! AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!"

Downstairs, AJ grinned at his mother. "Seems to be a pattern, doesn't there?"

XXXXX

The next day, Ana sat in her math class. This was the class where Philip sat behind her, much to the half-drow's displeasure. The class was staring at them, but Ana stopped them with a single smoldering glance.

As Ms. Anderson lectured, Philip grinned and leaned towards Ana. "Wanna try again after school?"

"How about never? That seems like a better date." Ana shot back.

"The only dates I'm interested in have nothing to do with the day, month, or year."

"Listen, you pompous-"

"That's it!" Ms. Anderson cried. "Ms. Derlyn and Mr. Redspear, report today after school for detention."

Ana gritted her teeth, but said nothing.

XXXXX

After school, Ana and Philip sat in Ms. Anderson's class. The teacher glared at them and stood up. "I'll be gone for fifteen minutes. Don't even think about trying anything." She left the room.

Philip grinned at Ana. "I knew I'd see you after school."

"Being in detention doesn't count as taking you up on your offer." Ana said acidly.

"You wanna say yes. Admit it." He goaded.

Ana stood up. "What is your problem? I just kissed you because I thought we were gonna die!"

Philip also stood up. "Quit the act, already! I know you dig me!"

To Philip's shock, Ana smiled. "You know what, you're right. I should drop the act."

Philip grinned. "Go on."

"How could I resist the charms of a male such as you? It has been a hard battle, but I surrender." she walked over to him and kissed him. "Taste your victory."

Philip smirked in an arrogant manner and kissed her as well, sliding his hand down her back and groping her behind.

Ana allowed him to do so, making sure that he couldn't see the knife that she was reaching for in her boot…

XXXXX

Ms. Anderson walked back towards her classroom. Philip suddenly ran out, screaming at the top of his lungs and clutching his crotch.

Ms. Anderson walked into her room, looking at Ana with a befuddled expression.

Ana shrugged. "Don't know what his problem is."

XXXXX

When Ana arrived home, she was wearing an unbelievably smug grin as she passed the family room.

"What are you grinning about?" Nathyrra asked.

AJ walked into the room. His eyes bulged when he saw his sister. "You really did do it!"

Ana merely grinned wider.

"Do what?" Ano asked as he took a drink of his water.

"S-She castrated Philip!"

Ano spit out his drink. "WHAT?"

Nathyrra nodded at Ana. "Good job, Ana."

Ano looked at his wife in complete shock. "YOU'RE ENCOURAGING HER?"

Nathyrra shrugged. "The male displeased her. What else could she have done?"

Ano addressed Ana. "W-Why?" he asked, trying to remain calm.

"He kept harassing me! What else could I have done?"

"Wait a minute…he STILL hit on you? Even after my warning last Midwinter?"

"Duh."

Ano stood up, his eyes bright crimson. "I'm gonna speak with Philip's father. Come on, Ana."

"WHAT?" Ana and Nathyrra cried in unison.

"You heard me. Let's go."

Sighing, Ana walked towards the front door.

"Anotalex!" Nathyrra yelled. "I will not have you waging war with the Redspears!"

"In case you've forgotten, I worship Tempus, the god of war. Nothing you say will stop me. And don't worry; I'll only fight him if necessary."

"You're sleeping on the couch tonight."

"I'll deal with it." Ano walked out the door.

Nathyrra clenched her fists. "The nerve of that jaluk! If he weren't my husband, I swear…"

AJ grinned at her. "Ya know, Mom, if you want him to be your obedient slave, all you have to do is one night, rip off his clothes and give him a little o-"

"Go to your room."

XXXXX

An hour later, Ana and Ano sat in the den of the Redspear home. Robert Redspear—Philip's father—smiled at Ano. "As you know, your daughter has damaged my son."

"Yes…"

"I know you are not a poor man, Mr. Derlyn, so I'm certain you wouldn't mind paying a…small price in compensation."

"How much?" Ano growled.

"Why, twenty-thousand gold should suffice."

Ano gripped the arms of his chair. "I'm afraid, Mr. Redspear, that you will not receive a single gold piece from me."

"Very well then, my attorney shall speak with you."

"In that case, I will sue you as well."

"For what?"

"For the continuous sexual harassment of my daughter."

Robert stood up, livid. "You cannot do that!"

Ano stood up as well, towering over Robert by four inches. "I can Redspear. I will not give you anything, and I'd like to drop this."

Robert Redspear sneered at Anotalex. "I should have expected this. No wonder your daughter did that, being the illegitimate mongrel of a bastard conqueror and his drow whore-" Robert was cut off by Anotalex's fist connecting with his face.

"Say that again!" Ano snarled, lifting his arm for another strike.

Robert screamed and tackled Ano. A dogfight commenced. Robert landed a lucky shot that left Ano with a black eye, Ano in turn, cracked Robert's ribs.

Ana and Philip stared at their fathers. Philip then gazed at Ana. The half-drow quirked an eyebrow and started reaching towards her boot.

Philip ran out of the room.

XXXXX

Several hours later, Ana and Ano arrived home. Ano was rather battered, sporting a black eye, several cracked ribs, a large cut stretching from his right temple to his chin, two rips in the shin part of his pants, a sprained ankle, and extremely messy hair.

Ana smiled at her father. "Thanks, Dad." She reached up and kissed his uncut cheek then went upstairs to her room.

Ano limped towards the den. Nathyrra sat in a chair. She shook her head when she saw her husband. "What did you do?"

Ano gave her a crooked grin. "You should see the other guy." He staggered towards the couch and lay down.

Nathyrra sighed and left for a moment, returning with a med kit. "Sit up." She commanded as she sat down next to Ano.

He smiled sheepishly and obliged.

"Foolish male." Nathyrra scolded as she cleaned his wounds.

Ano winced as the healing took place. "You should see the other guy."

"Is he dead?"

"No. Brutally injured, but he'll live."

"You didn't have to fight him."

"This is coming from the woman who fought Aribeth in a catfight over me?"

"That was many years ago. What kind of example does that set for your daughter?"

"It teaches her to stand up for herself." Ano retorted.

Nathyrra 'accidentally' jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow.

"Ow!" Ano cried indignantly and glared at her. "I couldn't exactly let him get away with calling you a whore!"

"I don't care, Ano."

"And calling Ana an illegitimate mongrel."

"…Alright, I can understand that." Nathyrra wiped the blood away from the cut on his face.

Ano winced. Nathyrra cocked an eyebrow. "Why is that you take a ferocious beating without batting an eyelash and yet you wince when I try and heal you?"

"…I don't know."

Nathyrra rolled her eyes. "Why did I marry you?" she asked.

"Because I'm an idiot, but cute." Ano said, grinning.

Nathyrra blinked. "Who told you that?"

"Ilmra, about ten years ago. She told me you said it."

"I'll kill her."

Ano laughed but then winced when his ribs began to ache.

Nathyrra glared at him. "You're still sleeping on the couch."

"Will you join me?"

"No. Now be a good patient and shut up." Nathyrra commanded and she continued tending to him.


	14. Chapter Seventeen

m: 'Special' Brownies scene inspired by 'That 70's show' This is a bit random, but for some reason, the song 'Suffocate' by Cold always pops into my head when I think about this chapter. Sorry for the long wait, so I promise a long chapter. Review…damn it…. (blinks) Where did that come from?

Horong: Thank you. :D

Chapter Seventeen

Ana and AJ were walking home from school. AJ looked at his twin. The seventeen-year-old had seemed a bit distant as of late, lost in thought. He decided to ask about it. "Hey, Ana."

"Yeah?"

"What's up? You've been acting kinda weird lately."

Ana frowned thoughtfully. "I've been thinking, we're gonna be adults in just one year. If you look at our parents, they've both done incredible things. Both for good…and evil. What have we done?"

"We made tuna fish casserole for the homeless a few years ago at Midwinter…"

Ana glared at AJ. "Funny. Really funny. Seriously though, what have we done? I mean, Mom and Dad are amazing in their accomplishments. Dad's a former conqueror, a hero, a powerful sorcerer. Mom's a former assassin, living proof of redemption through the path of Eilistraee, and easily one of the most deadly women in the world. We're their kids; we should have done something significant by now. Or at least started."

"Ana, we're seventeen years old. We gotta start small."

"Dad was twenty when he first started his conquest. Mom was…well…I don't know. She doesn't really like to talk about it, ya know?"

"Yeah. Listen, Ana, if ya wanna do great things, ya gotta start somewhere." He shrugged. "Personally, I don't see what the rush is. We've got a long life ahead of us. What with our elven blood and the Bhaal taint."

"You may not be concerned, but I am."

"So whatcha gonna do?"

"I don't know yet…I have to think about it." A grin suddenly crept across her face. "I've got it!"

XXXXX

Sharwyn was in the middle of a conversation with Nathyrra. "…So anyway, when I met Jor, I found more than just good sex."

Nathyrra smiled. "I know, you found commitment."

"No. I found great sex."

"I know!" Nathyrra gave her a brilliant grin. "I don't know if it's Bhaal taint but-" Nathyrra abruptly stopped.

"What is it?" Sharwyn asked.

"My children are home."

AJ headed upstairs, but Ana walked into the kitchen where her mother and her aunt were. "Hey, Aunt Shar. Mom, can I talk to you?"

"Certainly." A surprised Nathyrra said. She turned to Sharwyn. "Would you excuse us for a minute?"

Sharwyn nodded.

When they stepped into the hall, Ana informed Nathyrra of her desire to do something. Nathyrra listened intently as her daughter spoke.

"…And so anyway, I know that you're going on a mission for the Seer next week and…well…I'd like to come with you."

Nathyrra's eyes widened. "Ana, I can understand that you wish to do great things. If you didn't, you wouldn't your father's or my daughter. But going on a mission for the Seer is far from safe. I don't feel comfortable letting you go yet. When you're eighteen, we'll discuss this more. Alright?"

"But-"

"No. Not until you're eighteen."

"Mom! I want to do _something_! It's not exactly like its safe for you either!"

"I know, Anathyrra. But I am much older, and far more experienced than you. Conversation closed."

"This is so unfair." Ana mumbled before storming off.

Nathyrra sighed and walked back into the kitchen. The look Sharwyn was giving her was unreadable. Nathyrra gazed at her sister-in-law. "How much of that did you hear?"

"Everything."

Nathyrra sat down and ran her fingers through her hair. "It just seems so…soon. It seems like just yesterday that she was waving around my tampons in front of guests and yelling at me 'Are these popsicles? Can I have a popsicle, Mommy?'"

"Well, she is seventeen, Nat." Sharwyn shook her head. "I'm gonna tell you how do your job as a parent but—Nat are you crying?" Sharwyn looked at Nathyrra with open astonishment.

Tears streamed down Nathyrra's face. She wiped them away with the back of her hand. "It's a bit ironic, actually. I didn't cry when my fingers got chopped off, I didn't cry when I was buried alive, I didn't even cry when I learned that I could lose my beloved to another woman. Yet, here I am, weeping at my growing daughter."

Sharwyn sat down next to Nathyrra put an arm around her shoulders. "Don't worry about it. I'm going to be sobbing when Delilah starts to truly grow up." She looked at Nathyrra. "As I was saying, I'm not gonna tell you how to be a parent, but you need to know when to cut the apron strings."

"I realize that. It's just…hard."

"I understand."

XXXXX

"Didn't work?" AJ asked as his angry sister stormed up the stairs.

"No." Ana snapped. "She's so unfair. I'm seventeen! I think I can hold my own in a battle if I need to!"

"Well, my dear sister, I have something that may help your cause." He pulled a package of brownies out of his pocket.

"I don't think bribery will work, AJ."

"It's not needed. These are 'special' brownies."

Ana blinked. "Why do you have them?"

"I was saving them in case Mom or Dad was being really, REALLY anal and needed something to… 'help their judgment'"

"Where did you get them?"

"That's classified."

"It seems wrong…"

"Ya gotta start somewhere." AJ replied before walking down the stairs.

XXXXX

"Hey, Mom. These brownies came for you and Dad." AJ said nonchalantly and placed the brownies in font of her.

"Ooh! Brownies!" Ano cried as he entered the room with Joragin.

"Do want one, AJ?" Nathyrra asked as she picked one up.

"No thanks. I'm not hungry."

"Suit yourself."

XXXXX

An hour later, the four sat at the table. The tray was almost empty.

"Ya know, I'm glad a stay at home dad. It gives me stuff to do." Ano stated as he ate another brownie.

Nathyrra suddenly laughing. "Ha-ha-ha! What?"

Sharwyn grinned. "I can see my own eyebrows." She said, looking up.

"I love chocolate." Joragin declared.

"What. That's such a cool word." Ano grinned. "What. What. What. Kinda looses its meaning after awhile. What."

"You what's beautiful?" Nathyrra began, "Fruitcake. All those neat little colors all in one big cake…"

Sharwyn blinked. "I jumped out of a cake once."

"Vanilla is good. But there's just something about chocolate. Even though it looks a lot like crap. Hey! Maybe crap tastes like chocolate! It just doesn't smell like it!" Joragin cried.

"What. What. What. What." Ano continued.

Ana walked into the room. "Hi."

"Heeeeeyyyy!" The four greeted in unison.

"You know, Ana." Nathyrra began, "You're the best daughter I ever had. You may be a bit bitchy sometimes, but I love that. You get it from my side of the family. I love you. You're beautiful…like fruitcake!"

"Uh, thanks. Mom, can I come with you next week on your mission?"

"Sure! In fact, why don't you invite all of your friends? It'll be fun!"

"What?" Ano asked.

Ana blinked. "I'm just gonna leave now…"

XXXXX

"How'd it go?" A grinning AJ asked as his sister walked upstairs.

She glared at him. "That was sneaky, rotten, and low. I'm disgusted. Both at you and myself."

"Thanks, babe."

Ana sighed. "I'm gonna call Del and tell her to come and pick up her parents."

"Tell Tam I said hi."

"Whatever." Ana walked into her room and grabbed her wisp.

"Hello?" Delilah answered a moment later.

"Hey, Del." Ana sighed. "You won't believe this. AJ got some 'special brownies' and my parents got into them. And-" Ana was cut off by a loud voice coming from downstairs.

"DUDE! MY NAILS ARE PAINTED PURPLE! I NEVER REALIZED THAT!" Nathyrra exclaimed.

Ana gritted her teeth. "As you can see, Nathyrra and the others are high as kites."

Delilah's face screwed up with laughter. "Ha-ha-ha!"

"Ha-ha-ha." Ana mimicked. "Ya know-" She was once again cut off by another voice.

"MY EYEBROWS ARE RED LIKE MY HAIR DYE!"

Delilah immediately stopped laughing. "Was that Sharwyn?"

Ana smirked. "As I was saying, your parents ate them too."

Delilah instantly severed the connection.

XXXXX

A day passed. The twins sat at the dinner table, staring at their parents. A literal feast rested on the table. Their parents were devouring every ounce of food like starving dogs.

"You know what would be great for desert?" Ano asked as he finished off his eighth chicken drumstick.

Nathyrra looked up from her fifth steak. "Pork chops!"

They both got up and raced towards the pantry.

"I'll boil the water!" Ano declared.

"No time!" Nathyrra proclaimed as she grabbed a raw pork chop.

Ana and AJ sat in stunned silence.

XXXXX

"Why did I agree to allow you to come?" Nathyrra asked a week later.

"Because you love me. And I'm beautiful…like fruitcake." She added the last two words under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

XXXXX

Several hours, Ana and Nathyrra walked towards a room. The Eilistraee followers had traveled to small village where rumors of a drow surface raid were to happen. The Seer had spoken with the village leader, and the followers were to aid the villagers against the attack. Nathyrra's personal assignment was to get information from one of their informants.

"Remember, Ana, do not say anything unless I speak to you. This is a serious matter and I need my full concentration."

Ana nodded.

They entered the room. A duerger sat at a desk in the middle of the room. His head was shaved bald, though he retained a beard. He wore secondhand rags, suggesting that he was undercover as a slave in the raiding party.

:Stand by the door.: Nathyrra said in draconic. Ana obeyed.

Nathyrra sat down across from the dwarf.

The dwarf spoke, "Before we get started, would ye give me yer' name, lass?"

"Alurl Faen." Nathyrra said coolly.

_What the hell? Why is she calling herself 'Best Wizard'? That's the crappiest name I've ever heard, _Ana thought.

"Alright then."

"Might I ask yours?"

"Ye can call me whatever ye want, lassie." He said, wagging his eyebrows at the drow.

"In that case, I will refer to you as jaluk." Nathyrra stated. She removed her black gloves as she spoke.

The dwarf frowned when he saw Nathyrra's wedding ring. "Do you have the money?" He asked bluntly.

"Do you have the information?"

"I might. My memory's a bit foggy, however."

Nathyrra pulled a gold piece out of her pack. "Are you certain you don't remember?"

The dwarf grinned. "It's coming back to me. Was it thirty…forty soldiers? I can't seem to remember."

Nathyrra scowled and produced another gold piece.

The informant grinned and reached towards the two gold pieces.

"No gold until I receive valuable information." Nathyrra said, idly drumming her fingers on the dagger that was strapped to her waist.

_What the-? Is she threatening him? _A surprised Ana wondered.

"Well then, lass. That'll cost ye a hefty sum."

"How 'hefty' "are you implying?"

"Considering I'm putting m'life on the line, I'd say…around fifteen thousand."

_Holy shit. _Ana thought.

Nathyrra let out a cruel laugh, something Ana had never heard before. "Do you truly believe your life is worth that much, jaluk?" She unsheathed her dagger. "I have ways of making you speak without the lure of gold." the drow said viciously.

_What the hell is she doing? _Ana thought once again, now astonished.

"You wouldn't."

"How well do you know me, dwarf?"

Ana couldn't stay silent any longer. "What are you doing? Mom-"

"SILENCE!" Nathyrra roared at Ana.

The dwarf smirked. "What's the matter? Can't keep your little half-breed under control?"

Nathyrra turned around. Quick as a flash, she pressed her dagger to the man's throat. "If you make one more smartass comment, it'll be your last. I'll make sure of that."

"You're a worshiper of Eilistraee!" the dwarf cried, horrified.

Nathyrra smiled coldly. "I'm more of a freelance worshiper." One of her hands glowed with a prepared spell.

"STOP IT!" Ana shouted. She ran towards her mother and knocked the knife away. "This is wrong!"

"Get away from me." Nathyrra hissed.

The dwarf took advantage of this moment to run towards the door. With lightning speed, Nathyrra spun around and threw her dagger at the dwarf.

He let out an incomprehensible gurgle as the dagger became embedded in his back. He collapsed to the floor.

An expression of pure horror adorned Ana's face. "Y-You killed him!"

"I had to. He would have told our enemies about us." Nathyrra said emotionlessly.

Ana turned to face her mother, her eyes scarlet. "And so his life is worth nothing?"

"It's worth less than the seer's." Nathyrra surveyed the body. "Good thing I got most of the most of the information I required from a different informant last week."

Ana gaped at her. "Y-You just killed a guy and you're talking about it so casually…it's like you're talking about the weather or something!"

"I did what was necessary, Anathyrra." she snapped.

"Necessary? What kind of fucked up logic do you have? You worship Eilistraee! How is this a demonstration of what she stands for?" Ana snarled.

"I'm not perfect."

"Is that all you can say? You kill with that much ease, how can you possibly worship a goddess who believes in mercy? How many informants have you killed? You claim that you're no longer an assassin? You always taught me about mercy and compassion, though it seems you're not quite as 'redeemed' as you thought you were-" Ana was cut off by Nathyrra pushing her against the wall.

"You speak of things that you do not understand, Anathyrra." her mother hissed. "And you may be my own flesh and blood but if you ever speak to me in such a tone again, I swear to Eilistraee I will-"

"Kill me? Like the dwarf? It wouldn't surprise me at this point." Ana growled. She pushed her mother away and stormed out of the room.

Nathyrra let out a sigh.

XXXXX

Hours later, Ana sat on a tree branch. She was determined to get away from her mother and had sought refuge in the forest outside the village. _Lying bitch, _the teenager thought bitterly.

Nathyrra made her way though the forest, searching for her daughter. She spotted her in a tree, sitting on a branch with her legs dangling over the side.

Nathyrra walked over to the tree and began to climb it. A memory flashed before eyes.

_"Where are the twins?" Ano asked Nathyrra._

_Nathyrra surveyed the playground. Many children were running around, but none of them were her offspring. "I have no idea."_

_"I'll look for AJ. You find Ana."_

_Nathyrra nodded._

_Anathyrra was not too difficult to find. She was on the jungle gym, sitting in one of the various tunnels. She had gotten rid of her wings—an ability her father had taught her several months before—and was playing with a ball of divine magic. Nathyrra pulled herself halfway through one of the entranceways. "Ana?"_

_The four-year-old turned around and smiled at her. "Hi, Mommy."_

_"Didn't you hear me calling? It's time to go."_

_"Okay." _

_Nathyrra attempted to dislodge herself from the entrance. She frowned when she realized she couldn't get out, and her scowl deepened when she realized why._

_"What's wrong?" Ana asked._

_"I'm stuck." Nathyrra replied._

_"Why?"_

_"…My chest won't fit."_

_"Oh. I thought your chest was good."_

_"What?" Nathyrra asked, puzzled._

_"Well, Daddy stares at it all the time so I thought it was a good thing."_

_"Right. I'm going to have to speak to your father about that."_

_"Do you want me to go get Daddy?"_

_"That would be nice."_

_Ana got rid of her ball and left out the other entrance. A few minutes, Nathyrra felt someone tapping her back. "Ano?" she asked._

_"Hey. I'm gonna try and pull you out." He began to pull._

_"Cool! Mom's stuck." AJ declared._

_"Shut up, stupid male." growled Ana._

_"OWW! Dos __waele__ jaluk! Nindel __jivviim__ saph __uoi'nota__!" Nathyrra shouted._

_"This is gonna hurt me a lot more than it's gonna hurt you, Kitten."_

_"Count on it." Nathyrra spat._

_Pain exploded in Nathyrra's chest as Ano pulled her out. She glared at her husband. He gave her a weak smile._

_Nathyrra was about to say something when Ana ran up to her and hugged her around the waist. "Are you okay, Mommy?"_

_Nathyrra smiled, her anger gone. "I'm alright."_

XXXXX

Elsewhere, Anotalex Senior and Junior sat on the living room couch.

"AJ."

"Yeah, Dad?"

"This might be good time to tell you." Ano wrung his hands. "You remember how I would cook whenever your mother was out a few years ago?"

"Yeah. That was until Ana learned to cook five years ago."

"Well…I uh…always ordered takeout and said it was my cooking."

"You mean you can't cook?"

"Buddy, I can barely boil water."

AJ was silent for several seconds. "…We're gonna starve, aren't we?"

Ano glared at him. "Of course not! We're gonna make pasta and bread!"

"Wonderful." AJ said sarcastically.

XXXXX

_Why am I thinking about that now, _Nathyrra pondered as she scaled the hundred-foot tree. _I suppose because this isn't the first time I've climbed something to see my daughter._

Ana had heard her mother approaching. She frowned when Nathyrra sat down next to her. "What do you want?"

A pang of anger hit Nathyrra but she ignored it. "I'm sorry, Ana. I shouldn't have gotten angry at you. You didn't understand."

"Whatever."

"Look, I can't change the fact that I was an assassin, but I'm now I'm doing something that uses my skills for the greater good. It may not always work out the way I wish it could, but I try my best. I had hoped to protect you from my sins, but like I said, things don't always work out for the best."

An awkward silence passed for several minutes.

"Why did you become an assassin?" Ana suddenly asked.

"What?"

"You heard me. And don't give me that 'It was drow society that compelled me' bullshit. I know it was more than that."

Nathyrra sighed, "Very well then. I suppose I should start with my days before I was an assassin. I was the youngest daughter of my mother, Matron Vasenna. At that time, I had no other ambitions rather than my dreams of matron hood and overthrowing my mother."

"But you told me she was a lunatic."

"Vasenna was not a lunatic. On her way to becoming one—possibly, but during her life she was merely different from most matron mothers."

"How so?"

"In a strange way, she was a bit more maternal than most other matrons. Or at least, she was to her daughters. For instance, she preferred that we call her 'mother' rather than 'Matron Vasenna'. If anyone said she was soft however, their entrails would most likely be hanging on the gates of House Kant'tar within the next ten minutes."

"Okay, so my grandmother was a nutcase. Anything else you wanna add to that?"

"No. As I was saying, my only ambitions were of matron hood, until one day, something happened."

"Let me guess. You had an epiphany?"

"In a sense. I met Seelamin Silver Panther."

"So that's where AJ gets his middle name from."

"Yes it is. Seelamin was a barbarian. He was a surfacer and a slave under my mother. My sister, Zarra, had her eye on him."

"She was the whore, wasn't she?"

"No, she didn't get paid. She was a tramp. I just wanted to make that clear."

"Okay, my aunt was a slut. Go on."

"She was intrigued by Seelamin, as was I. We placed a bet. We challenged each other to see who would win Seelamin's heart first."

"Side of you I've never seen, but you seem to have a lot of sides that I've never seen before."

"I was much different then, Ana." Nathyrra continued, "Seelamin and I grew close, closer than I would have thought. He told me of his honor, his barbarian tribe, and even his wife and child."

"What happened to them?"

"Their names were Arayna and Tianna. They were killed by Seelamin's brother, Gargonis. Seelamin took revenge on his brother. He was ashamed of what he'd done, for it violated his code of honor."

"Kind of a twisted honor."

"There's no reasoning with barbarians. I grew quite close to him, in fact I…I…"

"Loved him?"

Nathyrra smiled. "I did. I did love him. However, we had to face certain obstacles."

"Like what?"

"One day, my sister…"

"Asked him to do the horizontal mambo with her?" Ana suggested.

"I was gonna say 'go all the way', as Nackor put it, but yes."

"Who's Nackor?"

"Nackor was Seelamin's best friend. A duerger, he had an uncanny knack for telling obnoxious stories."

"Sounds like he really got under your skin."

"That's an understatement."

"How so?"

"I'm getting to that. I remember sitting in my room, trying to forget what Nackor had told me by painting my nails."

"Let me guess. Out of sheer frustration, you threw the polish against the wall."

"Yes, actually."

Ana blinked in surprise.

Nathyrra continued, "After that, I attempted to sleep. Awhile later, Seelamin came to my room. I'm not quite sure how much time passed, but not nearly enough time for him to do anything with Zarra. We talked for a bit, and he told me he loved me—not Zarra—and we…took our relationship to a new level-"

"Mom, I'm a big girl. You slept with him. That's pretty obvious."

"I did. The morning afterwards, I had a bit of a panic attack and left the room, believing that our relationship would never work. After I left, Nackor told Seelamin of the bet between me and my sister. Several days later, we received word that Matron Sinvyl—The Valsheress—was going to attack House Kant'tar. Seelamin would have to fight, and I wanted to speak to him before. To a long story short, we worked things out, planned to escape to the surface together, and we had sex again."

"That's a wonderful visual." Ana said sarcastically.

"I could into details if you'd like." Nathyrra said acidly.

"Please don't. I don't think I want to be scarred for life."

"The morning afterwards, I remember waking up to the sound of warfare. Matron Sinvyl had attacked early, and Seelamin had left to fight. I joined the battle. I saw him once, but someone knocked me out. When I woke up, the battle was over. I found Seelamin, dead from a stab wound. I cried over his corpse for an amount of time, until I realized something. The knife protruding from his chest belonged to Nackor."

"But he was his best friend!"

"I know. There was no doubt that it was him, however. I swore revenge on the dwarf and spent the next year searching for him. During the time, the Valsharess learned of my survival, and sent her assassins after me. I continued to survive—my lust for vengeance made me—and she even sent me an invitation to join the red sisters. I went to meet with her. We conversed for a time, and she told me of how Nackor was her spy. He had opened the gates to my home, allowing the enemy in. Afterwards, he had had stabbed Seelamin. In return for becoming a red sister, she offered me power, prestige, and the location of Nackor. The last one I would receive after I became a red sister and completed enough missions to the Valsharess's satisfaction."

"So you became an assassin?"

"Not a first. First, I had to defeat a red sister—Sabal—to prove my worth. Afterwards, my training began." Nathyrra cleared her throat. "I was placed in a class with six other students. There were seven instructors, one head teacher and six lesser. Our first task was to perform a test that would reveal our abilities. I was called 'Alurl Faen' for my skills in magic."

"So that's where the name comes from."

"It is. My personal instructor's name was Ilivarra, or Ili, for short." A small smile played across Nathyrra's lips. "She is easily the hardest teacher I've ever had. She was cantankerous, wise, and sharp. She knew how to attack me, both physically and emotionally. If I recall correctly, she once even used me as a virtual battering ram in the combat rooms. For the first time in years, she was the one person I didn't have an advantage over."

"What happened to her?"

"She died, Ana."

"How?"

"I'm getting to that. As I was saying, Ili was hard on me, but it was because of this that I was the last survivor of my class. I graduated to become a full red sister…but you already know this."

"Then tell me something I don't know."

"Very well then. Several days after my graduation, I walked into my instruction wing and saw that Ili's door was open. I walked into her room and found a drow house symbol, an eyeball, a locket, and a file with the name, 'Nackor Blackhammer' on the cover. There was no location listed."

"What the hell-"

"Quiet, I'm trying to explain. Ilivarra caught me in her room. She was furious, as you can imagine, and roared at me to get out. I fled, not wanting to face her when she was _that _angry. Some time later, I was soaking in the baths and reflecting on what I had just seen. A duerger slave walked down the hall, his hood drawn up. Then I remembered; the red sisters didn't keep slaves."

"So what did you do?"

"I followed him to the kitchen. He meant to poison me through my food, but I stopped him. It turns out he was an assassin, sent by Nackor. He knew Nackor's location, and I tortured him for hours to learn it."

"Where was he?"

"Nackor was at a tavern in the city. Before I left to face him, Ilivarra warned me that I would not be able to defeat him. I did not listen, and lost three of my fingers in the process."

"But…he…"

"He fought with the same techniques I learned as a red sister. However, he was far more experienced than I. Ilivarra herself had trained him."

"So that's how she knew so much about him…"

"Yes, and that's why she told me that I should wait until the Valsharess gave me his location, then I would be ready. Of course, due to my fingers that wasn't happening anytime soon."

"What did you do about your fingers, exactly?"

"Ili sewed them back on. And while I was waiting for them to return to their full strength, I managed to convince her to tell me more about herself. Like me, she was a noble drow. Until one day, something happened."

"She fell in love?"

"With a surfacer bard. His name was Corran Kaseret. Her mother did not approve, and even attempted to sacrifice Corran to the spider queen when Ilivarra became pregnant. The ceremony was interrupted by the Valsharess, coming to slaughter the rival house. During the all the chaos, she was able to free Corran and escape with him."

"What did they do next?"

"They attempted to escape to the surface. Ili's pregnancy slowed them down, as you can imagine, but that was not all. The Valsharess sent red sisters after them, but they defeated them all. So many that she turned to mercenaries. And it was Korve Besair that finally defeated them."

"What did he do?"

"He killed Corran, killed Ili's unborn child, tortured Ilivarra for days, and finally left her for dead. She was on the brink of death, but her will for vengeance kept her alive. She joined the Valsharess, and in time, received her revenge. Afterwards, she became an instructor."

"Her story sounds really similar to yours."

"It does. Years passed, and I became a great assassin. The day finally came that I had one more mission to complete before I received Nackor's location. Ilivarra sent me to the island of Xukuth's Thalack. It was part of a chain of other islands, inhabited by outcasts from drow, duerger, even surfacer society. As I waited for further instructions, I met a young girl. Tialla Silvapanthoron was fourteen, full of life, and a half-drow. Despite myself, I was charmed by her personality. Her father, Seelomar, was quite charming as well."

"Did you fall in love with him too?" Ana asked.

"No. Infatuated? Yes. With time, perhaps I would have loved him. Who knows?" Nathyrra stated, shrugging.

"So what happened to them?"

"I received further instructions. My assignment was to kill Tialla and Seelomar Silvapanthoron. Seelomar's wife, Araynalla had been a follower of Eilistraee, and had been killed by another assassin. The Valsharess wanted me to finish the job."

"What did you do?"

"I killed them."

"But-"

"I know." Nathyrra wiped at moist eyes. "And it's one of the things I regret the most. They were both innocents, but I wouldn't let anything come between me and my revenge."

"So, what happened next?"

"I received Nackor's location. Ilivarra tried to talk me out of it, telling me that revenge would never make me feel better, but I refused to listen. I took my revenge, and crushed Nackor's heart with my own hands."

Ana's eyes widened.

Nathyrra ignored this. "With the need for vengeance gone, I felt empty. My life had no purpose. At the time, I blamed on Ilivarra, believing that her words had made me feel that way. I then believed that the only way to feel alive again, was to kill her. I returned to the academy. She was waiting for me, knives unsheathed. It turns out that my last assignment had been a test. I had failed by killing Tialla and Seelomar, and Ili decided that she would rather kill me than allow me to live as a monstrous assassin. It was one of the hardest battles I've ever fought, but I won. As she took her last breaths, she told me that this would haunt me, there was no escaping my feelings. I didn't believe her, but I now know that she was right."

Ana nodded.

"When hearing of Ilivarra's death, the Valsharess offered me her position. Before I received her position, I had to bring beck the Seer's head."

"I know the story. You went to the camp, pretended to be a refugee, tried to kill the seer, but couldn't. Now here's my question; what really stopped you?"

"I suppose it was my own conscience or even divine intervention by Eilistraee. Whichever it was, I began to question myself. The most significant realization was without a doubt, the meaning of my dreams."

"What are you talking about?"

"During my years as an assassin, I suffered from many nightmares. Mostly they consisted of me killing Nackor before he could kill Seelamin. But then, I would kill Seelamin myself, without meaning to. He would smile at me, and take out a knife of his own. He would make a small cut on me. Instead of blood, a green substance would poor out. It was then that I realized the meaning. I-" Nathyrra abruptly stopped.

"What is it?" Ana asked.

"Quiet." Nathyrra whispered. She looked down at the forest floor. Twenty drow soldiers marched towards the village. The leader gave them a signal and they all started to make camp on the forest floor. Nathyrra cast a spell to improve her hearing and began listening. "They're stopping to make camp for about four hours. Then, they'll attack at two hours past midnight." She continued listening. Her eyes nearly bulged out of her head. "There are one hundred and eighty more soldiers, scattered throughout the forest. They've surrounded the village. We must warn the seer."

"You go. I have an idea."

"What?"

"I have an idea that could help to even the odds. One hundred eighty to fifty is a lot better than two hundred to fifty, don't you agree?" Seeing the reluctance on her mother's face, Ana added, "Trust me, Mom. I know what I'm doing."

"If you get killed, I swear-"

"Go."

Nathyrra scowled and silently leapt through the trees.

Ana smiled at the soldiers. First, she called out with her animal empathy. Dozens of animals answered her call. She explained the importance of her cause, and how their lives were at stake as well. They readily agreed to help. The teen assigned each of the animals a job. The bears were to eat the hordes of supplies. The wolves and cats were to howl and keep the soldiers awake. Squirrels would disable any traps. Chipmunks would steal magical scrolls. Beavers would chew ropes. Badgers would steal weapons. Many other assignments were given.

_Remember, _Ana warned, _If anyone with a weapon sees you, flee. Don't look back, just run._

Ana grinned at the soldiers. _Now for my job. _She stealthily crept down to the forest floor. The animals brought her spare ropes, knives, and the other necessities she required. Within thirty minutes, Ana had made all the traps she needed, and the soldiers were quite disgruntled.

Ana crept back onto a tree branch and listened to the soldiers.

"Commander, we should rethink-" a male soldier began.

"Silence, ibilth!" His female commander roared. "We will not leave until I give orders."

"But Ma'am, I may not know much of the surface world, but this is truly unnatural. We should consider-"

"Silence!" The commander pulled out a whip. "Do you wish to taste the pain that I was educated to perform? It can be arranged, jaluk!"

The male shook his head.

"Good." The female turned around.

Ana grinned. _Now for phase 2. _ The young ranger pulled a color scroll out of her pack. Though she possessed no arcane magic, Ana knew how to use arcane scrolls. She used the color scroll to change the irises of her eyes from blue to red. And the whites to gold. Her hair turned from light brown to jet black. Silver rune tattoos stretched down her entire body. She took out another scroll. It bestowed horns and a tail on her, replaced her dragon wings with demon wings, replaced her teeth with fangs, her tongue with a forked version, and her nails with claws.

Ana jumped forward and landed on another tree branch, making sure that she was not silent.

The soldiers spun around and looked up.

Ana grinned at them, revealing her pointed teeth. The ranger let out loud roar. If anyone had heard her several leagues away, they would have thought it was the roar of a mountain lion. _Thank you, Snuggles, for teaching me that. Thank you, Mom, for perfecting it. Thank you, Dad, for jumping in surprise whenever I decided to practice._

"Demon!" One of the soldiers cried.

"Get your weapons! We'll fight her, despite our lack of preparation!" The leader shouted, unsheathing a long sword.

"Our weapons are gone!" Cried another voice.

The leader looked up at Ana.

She unsheathed two daggers and opened her mouth, letting out a stream of fire.

The commander's eyes widened. "RETREAT!" she screamed.

The soldiers obeyed, running away from the camp. Unfortunately, they triggered the traps Ana had set and found themselves caught in a multitude of nets, both magical and rope.

Ana jumped down from the trees. She smirked at the sweating leader. "I'll take that." the ranger informed her, taking the long sword out of the commander's hand.

Ana turned around. "I believe I'll just leave you all like this for awhile." She ran towards the village.

XXXXX

At that time, Ano and AJ faced the challenge of making pasta.

"Dad, are you sure that we're supposed to add THIS much yeast?"

"Of course." Ano said as he poured yeast into the pan.

Ten minutes later, Ano was up to his knees in batter. AJ, being the shorter person, was up to mid-thigh in yeast.

"Dad, this says TEASPOON. Not TABLESPOON."

"Now they tell me." Ano frowned. "Think we can get rid of all this before your mother and sister get home?"

"Sure. Let's not mention them to them, by the way."

"We'll discuss it over takeout. I think it's safe to throw away the pasta now."

"I'm not touching it! I've got a long life ahead of me!"

XXXXX

Nathyrra snarled and plunged her dagger into a soldier's chest. She quickly spun around and slit the throat of a different soldier with her other knife. _Where's Ana? _

The village was in chaos. Soldiers and Eilistraee Followers fought each other relentlessly as remaining villagers attempted to escape the carnage. Nathyrra's personal mission was to find the Seer and protect her at all costs. But first, she needed to find her daughter.

The drow heard a presence approaching behind her. She turned around and raised her dagger in an offensive stance.

Before Nathyrra could attack, the soldier collapsed. Ana stood behind him, a bloody dagger in her right hand.

_That was her first kill._ Nathyrra distracted herself from that morbid thought by saying, "That's an interesting new look."

"Oh! I'd forgotten about the spell." Within seconds, the demon attributes faded and Ana's normal appearance was restored.

"I'm not gonna ask." Nathyrra shook her head. "I need to find the Seer." She looked at the city hall. "She's probably in there. I'm going."

"I'm coming too."

"No you're not. Stay here and find cover."

"Mom, I'm not a child anymore."

Nathyrra sighed. "You're a pain in the ass."

"Just like you." Ana shot back before running towards the hall.

Nathyrra approached the door. It wouldn't budge. Ana tried to move it as well, but it still wouldn't open. They both looked at the window. "One…Two…Three!" They leapt towards window, breaking the glass and gaining an entrance.

"Kill them!" cried a voice inside. Ana and Nathyrra fought side-by-side, successfully dispatching their enemies.

"The Seer will be upstairs." Nathyrra noted.

"Hey! Look what I found!" Ana opened a chest and pulled out two sets of leather armor, one black and one brown.

"Put one the brown one, then. I'll take the black."

"I want the black one!" Ana protested.

"Give me the black one." Nathyrra said irritably.

Ana muttered something along the lines of 'gothic freak' under her breath. Nathyrra pretended not to hear her as she donned the armor.

Upstairs, the Seer and two followers of Eilistraee battled three soldiers, a wizard, and a priestess of Lolth. An insignia on the cleric's armor revealed her to be the first born daughter of a powerful house, and the leader of the raid.

"Protect the Seer!" the followers cried.

"Oloth plynn dos!" their enemies retorted.

Nathyrra fought the wizard while Ana took on one of the soldiers. Nathyrra defeated the wizard with ease before turning to fight the cleric. She thrust her blades at the cleric. The priestess dodged and aimed her mace at Nathyrra's torso. The former assassin blocked.

Ana let out a slight yelp as the soldier's blade nicked her forearm.

Nathyrra immediately looked at her to see if she was alright. The cleric took advantage of this and swung her mace at Nathyrra's arm. Nathyrra let out a grunt as her arm shattered.

Ana pulled her dagger out of the soldier's neck just in time to see the priestess swing her mace at Nathyrra's head and knock her unconscious.

Ana stared at the cleric in disbelief. "You bitch!"

The priestess laughed. "Come and get me, half-breed!"

Ana let out a cry of rage and ran towards the cleric. The drow was caught by surprise by the ferocity of Ana's attacks, and hurriedly tried to keep up. With one mighty blow, Ana knocked the mace out of the woman's hand. The ranger soon brought down the hilt of her knife on the cleric's head. The priestess succumbed to unconsciousness and would have fallen backwards, had Ana not caught her.

"Halt!" Cried a voice.

Ana turned around. The remaining enemy soldier had a sword pressed to the Seer's throat while the remaining ally soldier watched helplessly.

The enemy grinned. "Surrender."

Ana grabbed the cleric and pressed her knife to her throat. "How about we exchange prisoners?"

"No."

"Let the Seer go, or I-I'll slit your leader's throat. And we both know that you'll be punished by the matron of your house for her death."

The soldier laughed. "You're a follower of Eilistraee! You don't have the guts to go through with it!"

Ana smiled grimly. "I'm more of a freelance worshiper."

"You let her go first."

"No way. You go first."

"Listen, you half-breed tramp, I'll spill your precious Seer's entrails all over the floor if you don't let my mistress go."

"I'll spill more than your leader's entrails." As Ana declared this, her eyes turned bright crimson.

The soldier looked a bit more nervous as he looked at Ana's eyes. His expression hardened and he raised his sword to behead the Seer.

A dagger suddenly whizzed through the air. The soldier cried out as it became buried in his back. The Seer pushed him away from her.

Ana looked at the direction where the dagger had come from.

Nathyrra lay on the floor, her chest heaving with exertion—or pain—and one of her daggers missing. She gave Ana a weary smile.

Ana smiled back.

XXXXX

Two days passed. Due to the fact that the healers used up most of their healing on the gravely injured, Nathyrra's arm rested in a sling. Along with the twenty soldiers that Ana had captured, the cleric of Lolth had been taken into the follower's custody, and the Seer had granted Ana and Nathyrra permission to leave.

"I wish they had taught us how to heal broken bones this year rather than deciding to teach it next year." Ana commented as she and her mother walked towards the town exit.

"Don't worry about it, Ana. I'll have Jaheira look at it when we get home." Nathyrra responded.

A momentary silence passed.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I understand now, about the informant. It's hardly an easy position to be in. I'm sorry for how I acted."

Nathyrra smiled and hugged her daughter. Ana hugged her back, taking care not to jostle her mother's injured arm.

XXXXX

When they arrived home, the first thing the mother and daughter noticed was the large pile of takeout boxes on the kitchen table. AJ and Ano were sitting at the table, eating more takeout.

Nathyrra arched an eyebrow. "I'm not even gonna ask."

Ano grinned and stood up. "Hey, Kitten." His brows creased in confusion. "What happened to your arm?"

"Mace wound. Not enough healing."

"I call Jaheira."

"No, call in the morning. It's late."

Ano nodded.

"And clean up those takeout boxes." Nathyrra commanded.

"I'll get the garbage bags." AJ said.

"I'll get the shovel." Ano stated.

As soon as they left, Ana turned towards her mother. "By the way, what was the meaning of the dreams? You never did tell me."

"Well, the dreams meant…"

Arrow Maker: Hah! Like I'm gonna reveal that before I finish HoI. Mwhahaha. Drow translations below.

jaluk: male. (if you don't know that by now, I would suggest you get help.)

Dos waele jaluk! Nindel jivviim saph uoi'nota: You stupid male! That hurt like hell!

Xukuth's Thalack: Heart's War.


	15. Chapter 18

m: Due to the fact that I'm a lazy bum, This chapter is gonna be mostly made up of flashbacks and crap (not real crap, obviously.) that Nat and Ano remember as they prepare for the twins to move out as well as general stuff that just happened, in the italics. Pennywise the clown belongs to Stephen King and the producers of the crappy movie, 'IT'. Special thanks to Tamora Pierce's 'Trickster's Choice', the movie 'The Incredibles', that random joke that I heard, the parenting magazine that I read during my last doctors visit, the movie 'Roxanne'. Me and my sister used to pull the same crap with the cookies when I was six years old. (Of course, we never got caught.) Various jokes from 4degreez that inspired me. The song, 'Daddy's Little Defect' by Sugarcult. 'If I Could Fall In Love' by Lenny Kravitz.

shadow0015: Ana probably sees it as a war story now. Especially considering what Snuggles has been telling her. LOL. Why do guys always say, "You should see the other guy." after a fight? I've always wanted to say, "Can you give me his address? I wanna congratulate him for the kicking the crap out of your dumb ass." Just kidding. We can only wonder if Redspear is still alive…I think Ano might not be as redeemed as he thought, either. LOL. If he is, then Redspear's hospitalized and most-likely handicapped. I think I'm gonna make AJ a bard. He's gonna be a dragon disciple and a fighter, but bard seems to suit him more than sorcerer. Pliac will be the sorcerer, and Del and Tam will be bards. :D Sharwyn jumping out of cake…well, she never did say what _kind_ of performing she did with Dannen in Beregost that got them noticed. LOL. They should be waving in unison, and maybe Ano could fall off his chair…I assume some type of marijuana was in the brownies. On the subject of Sharwyn's hair, what do Ano and Shar have in common? They were both born brunette. Ha-ha, I've been watching too much 'Cheers' Carla kicks ass…I think Nat and Ano would have killed each other over a Twinkie at the dinner after their little 'run-in' with the brownies. "I'm more of a freelance worshiper." You're welcome to use that line, on the condition that I get to kidnap Telaya and subject her to Ilivarra. Just kidding about the kidnapping, you're welcome to use the line. The scene where Ana captured all those soldiers was inspired by 'Wild Mage' by Tamora Pierce. (Greatest authoress. Ever.) "And of course you are mean, rude, pompous, arrogant and self-righteous for not revealing the meaning of the dream...but I still like you anyways." Why thank you, Shadow. I was afraid that I wasn't living up to my standards. Like every other skill, bitchiness is one I must practice a constant basis to remain superb at it. I'm very dedicated to The Way of the Bitch. ;-)

Chapter Eighteen

Ano smiled as he pulled out the book. His son and daughter had recently graduated from their high school. Both had been accepted into academies, and were preparing to move out. Ana would attend an academy devoted to the study of becoming a ranger, while AJ would attend a school to become a bard. Ano sat in his bedroom, looking at a photo album.

The first page held pages of the twins' first year. Ano smiled as he remembered.

_"Anotalex, go check on our son. He's asleep in the twins' room." Nathyrra said as attempted to feed Ana a spoonful of baby food._

_"Sure, Kitten." Ano walked up the stairs. When he entered AJ's room, he gasped. Flames roared in every part of the room, setting everything on fire. AJ laughed with delight at the fire. Ano raced into the room and immediately grabbed his son. He then used a spell to douse the flames. The dragon disciple breathed a sigh of relief and looked at AJ. "You okay, Buddy?"_

_AJ pointed at Ano's chest. Though Ano was immune to fire's affects, his shirt was not. AJ giggled as Ano's shirt was reduced to cinders._

_A smirk was heard from the doorway. Ano turned around to see his wife holding Ana and chuckling at her husband. "It seems our son has inherited our arcane magic." Nathyrra smiled at Ana. "I wonder if you have as well." She murmured to the infant._

_"This is normal to you?" Ano asked, mildly surprised._

_"This is quite normal for children with magical abilities. Drow children in particular." The drow put on a wry grin. "I was told that I once burned down an entire section of House Kant'tar when I was AJ's age." _

_"That doesn't surprise me." Ano said dryly._

_Nathyrra handed Ana to her father and began to cast protection against fire spells in the room. "I'll cast some more around the house. Chances are it's only a phase. However, we should be careful about who we allow to hold him. Just because we're fireproof doesn't mean everyone else is."_

_AJ suddenly spit up, right in Ano's face._

_Nathyrra blinked. "I'm afraid I don't have a spell to help with that." _

XXXXX

Of course, AJ wasn't the only child that explored their powers at a young age.

XXXXX

_The family stood in a field. It was the day of the twins' baptism. After much arguing over which religion the twins would be raised with, Nathyrra prevailed and Eilistraee was chosen. The Seer herself had offered to baptize them. _

_The guests looked at the family. Ano held AJ in one arm, while he used to the other to help Nathyrra hold up a large sheet. The virtual hammock squirmed violently. A bird's claw stuck out. A moment later, a snake tail hung over the edge. _

_The Seer looked at Anotalex. "Would you like me to take your son while you sort out things with your daughter?"_

_Ano nodded and gave AJ to her. _

_Sharwyn blinked at the sheet. "I can't imagine nursing her."_

_"It's a challen-" Nathyrra began but suddenly stopped when the bag dropped, too heavy for both parents to hold. The bag rolled towards Ano, knocking him down. _

_"Are you sure it's yours, Ano?" Drak asked. "She doesn't look very much like you." he stated, looking at the baby elephant that was Ana._

_Ano glared at him. _

_Nathyrra grabbed one end and attempted to pull the shape shifting child off her husband._

_"Come on, Joragin." Sharwyn commanded. She and her lover walked over to the sheet._

_Joragin began to count. "One…Two…Three!" _

_Just as the threesome pulled, Ana changed again. The three all fell backwards from the force of their pulling, and a small black kitten landed on Nathyrra's chest._

_Drak laughed as the kitten licked Nathyrra's face. "Now I understand. She takes after her mother." _

_"Funny." Nathyrra stated, a bit irritated. The drow looked at her daughter—now a puppy—who was trying to dig a hole in Nathyrra's shirt. Ana stopped and walked towards Nathyrra's face, proceeding to lick it. _

_"I love you too." Nathyrra declared as she wiped away the slobber on her face._

_Jaheira shook her head as she walked over. "You two need to be firmer with children. You're going to spoil her."_

_"It's a bit hard to reason with an infant." Nathyrra pointed out._

_"Or a cub." Ano added._

_Jaheira walked over to Ana—now a wolf cub—and picked her up. No matter what shape Ana took, Jaheira held her firmly. "Stop it." Jaheira ordered sternly._

_Ana stopped struggling, her tiger cub eyes fixed on Jaheira._

_"You're exhausting your parents. If you continue this, you'll tire yourself out before you're twelve. Go back to your natural form, Anathyrra." She stopped and cocked her head to side as though she was listening to something. The druid looked at Ana. "Not until you're at least six, Anathyrra. Learn the limits of your own body before attempting to change into another."_

_Ana changed back to her half-drow form. Jaheira gave her back to Nathyrra. "Next time, don't change shape while you're pregnant. It gives them ideas." _

_Nathyrra nodded._

_Jaheira looked at AJ. "Don't even think about it." _

_AJ blinked and stopped casting the fire spell._

XXXXX

Ano turned the page. The twins' two-year-old pictures stood out.

XXXXX

_Ano sat on the floor, once again trying to teach his offspring to talk. He held up a flashcard. "Can you say 'monkey'?"_

_"Monkey." Ana pointed at Ano._

_Nathyrra snickered from her position on the couch._

_Ano snorted. "What do kids know?"_

_"Ana, can you say 'carnivore'?" Nathyrra asked._

_"Carnivore." Ana recited, pointing at Snuggles._

_Ano scowled. "AJ, can you say… 'pig'?"_

_"Pig." AJ pointed at Ano._

_Nathyrra chuckled. "AJ, can you say 'sarcastic'?"_

_"Sarcastic." AJ walked over to the shelf, took out a photo album, flipped through the pages, and pointed at a picture of Drak._

_Ano glared at Nathyrra before turning back to Ana. "Ana, can you say 'cow'?"_

_"Cow." This time, Ana pointed at Nathyrra._

_"WHAT?" Nathyrra cried. _

_"No, Precious, the correct term is 'al'vur'." Ano told his daughter._

_The drow gave her husband an incredibly cold look. "That was low."_

_"Well, I am a pig."_

XXXXX

Another memory of the twins at age two came to Ano's mind.

XXXXX

_Ano scooped the sleeping AJ into his arms. _Maybe Nat won't notice the living room, _he thought. _

_"ANOTALEX DERLYN!" A shrill voice shrieked._

_Ano winced._

_Nathyrra stormed into the kitchen. She strode over to Ano and planted herself in front of him. "You idiot! I leave you for hour with our son and what happens? You give him a bucket of sugar and let him run rampant all over the house! It's going to take weeks to get the stains out of the carpet!"_

_AJ frowned and squirmed in his father's arms. _Why is this weird lady always talking, _the two-year-old wondered to himself._

_"Do you have any idea how hard it is to get juice stains out of the carpet? Well, you're going to because you're going to clean it up! As soon as-" She was cut off by AJ taking his pacifier and sticking it in Nathyrra's mouth._

_"Be quiet, Mommy. I'm trying to sleep." He told her before closing his eyes._

_Ano laughed. "I wonder if I can teach him to do that on command." he joked._

_Nathyrra pulled the item out of her mouth, glared at her husband, and walked away. _

XXXXX

Ano looked at the next year. Not only had the twins become three years old, but his niece, Delilah, had been born. The dragon disciple chuckled as he remembered that day.

XXXXX

_Nathyrra and Anotalex stood in the hospital room. Sharwyn was propped up on the bed. "Where the hell is Joragin? I swear, when he does get here, I'm going to kick his skinny little ass so hard…"_

_"I doubt you'll be doing any ass kicking for a while, Shar." Nathyrra pointed out._

_"You want me to go look for him?" Ano offered._

_Sharwyn nodded._

_Ano walked out of the room._

_Sharwyn let out a deep sigh. "How the hell did you do this with twins?"_

_Nathyrra smiled. "I wasn't aware that I was carrying twins. I thought I was going to have only a boy or a girl. I never expected two. Especially since drow twins have been known to kill each other in the nine months of pregnancy."_

_Sharwyn blinked. "That's an interesting fact." She sighed. "Where the hell is he?"_

_"Don't worry, Anotalex was late. Now that I think of it, he wasn't just late, he passed out too."_

_Sharwyn wasn't listening. "I'm going to kill him. As soon as I recover from giving birth, I'm going to murder him. Starting with his slow feet. I'll tell my child that he was in a…scimitar accident. Yes, scimitar accident…that's it…"_

_Nathyrra gestured to the nurse. "Get the painkillers. Now!" the drow whispered urgently._

_XXXXX_

_Ten minutes later, Joragin ran down the halls. He accidentally knocked into a nurse, which caused her to fall down. The bard didn't stop to apologize and continued running. _

_"Ass wipe!" The nurse called after him._

_"Sorry!" Ano shouted as he ran past her._

_Joragin burst into Sharwyn's room. "Shar, I am so sorry-"_

_Sharwyn interrupted, "Don't worry, Jor, Jorry, Joragin! Ha-ha-ha. Ya know, I was a bit worried about this at first, but now I'm okay about it. It'll be fun! We'll teach him or her how to sing, how to play a musical instrument, and how to be really sexy. If it's a girl, I'll teach her! If it's a boy, Drak will teach him. Those scales are so hot…"_

_Joragin blinked. "Sharwyn, are you drunk?"_

_"Nope, they loaded me up on painkillers. Ha-ha-ha! OW!" Sharwyn cried._

_The doctor rushed over and nurses rushed over. Joragin and Ano watched with growing anxiety._

_"I think I see a head!" One of the nurses called out. _

_Joragin's eyes widened and he fell backwards, unconscious. Two seconds later, Ano passed out._

_Nathyrra arched an eyebrow at the two men. "I suppose it must run in the Derlyn family…"_

_XXXXX_

_  
An hour later, the tired Sharwyn rested her head on the pillows. Ano was wide awake, but Joragin was still unconscious._

_"Should we wake him up?" Ano asked Nathyrra._

_"No. Let him rest. He's going to need all the sleep he can get for the next few weeks." She replied._

_Sharwyn sighed. "I need a drink."_

_"You're not getting one." Nathyrra informed her._

_"I still want one."_

_"Too bad."_

_The doctor entered the room. "Ma'am, we have something to tell you about your child."_

_"When can I see her?" Sharwyn asked anxiously._

_"That's the thing; your child is a hermaphrodite."_

_"What does that mean?"_

_"It means that the child exhibits both female and male parts."_

_"…"_

_Nathyrra spoke up, "He's saying that your child is a boy and girl, Shar."_

_Sharwyn gasped. "You mean it has a penis AND a brain?"_

_Nathyrra decided not to answer this._

_The doctor laughed. "I'm just kidding. I like to play jokes on my patients."_

_The glare that Sharwyn gave him could have frozen lava._

_The man gulped. "A nurse is coming with her." He left the room._

_Joragin slowly opened his eyes. "What happened?"_

_Ano grinned. "Congrats. You're a dad, Jor."_

_Joragin's eyes widened. "Where is he? Or she?"_

_"SHE is coming." Nathyrra told him._

_Joragin walked over to Sharwyn and knelt down beside her. "Are you alright, Shar?"_

_"I want a drink."_

_"You're not getting one."_

_A nurse walked into the room, carrying a small bundle of cloth in her arms. "Would you like to see the child, sir?" she asked Ano._

_Anotalex pointed at his brother. "He's the father. I'm the uncle."_

_The nurse smiled and handed the baby to Joragin. The bard gazed at the infant with stunned wonder. He held her carefully, as though he was afraid that he would break her if he was not careful._

_Joragin walked over to Sharwyn and handed the child to her mother. "What's her name?"_

_"I haven't decided yet."_

_"How about… 'Delilah'?" Joragin suggested._

_Sharwyn smiled. "Delilah it is, like my mother."_

_Joragin grinned and pressed a kiss to his wife's hand. She smiled and held the infant with her other hand._

XXXXX

Ano smiled once more as another memory came to mind.

XXXXX

_"Daddy, tell me a story." Ana demanded as her father tucked her in for bedtime._

_"Alright, but just one. After that you have to go to sleep."_

_The four-year-old nodded vigorously. "Tell me the one about the follower of Eilistraee."_

_Ano grinned and began the tale, "Once upon a time, there was beautiful follower of Eilistraee. As a wizard, she was quite active in the name of her goddess and the only thing she enjoyed more than coming home were her reunions with her beloved husband, and a good night's sleep. One time, it was too late for the couple to return to their home, so they spent the night at the follower's base. Their room was on the second story of the building, and right next to the dog house. The dog house held many guard dogs, used to assist the followers with things that a humanoid was incapable of performing. The keeper of the dogs set up seats beneath the couple's balcony and sold tickets for the seats. Late that night, they started banging on the doors to the dog house. This awoke the animals, and they all started barking. The wizard was rather hotheaded and when she awoke, she ran onto the balcony, a dagger in one hand, a fireball in the other. The male spectators below rejoiced in the fact that their coworker slept without pajamas. Needless to say, the head priestess put a stop it when she found out and made the keeper use his earnings to move the dog house away from the followers' lodging. However, there are still men who will swear by Eilistraee that she is one of the most gorgeous wizards in the world."_

_Ana grinned. "Tell another one, Daddy."_

_"No, Precious, it's time for bed." He tucked the sheets around her and walked towards the door._

_"Night, Daddy." Ana said, yawning._

_"Night, Precious."_

_Ano shut the door behind him and turned around to see Nathyrra glaring at him. He grinned sheepishly. "Hey, Kitten."_

_"Did you really have to tell her that story? You know how I despise it."_

_Ano chuckled. "She doesn't know it was you, Nat."_

_"Hmph. It's been years and I still get teased about that at work."_

_"Yes, but the Seer fixed the problem, remember?"_

_"I know." She shook her head. "You sleep like a log, do you know that? You didn't even hear the dogs and didn't even wake up until I ran out of the room."_

_"I tried to warn you."_

_"You were still asleep. And you were laughing when I went back into the room."_

_"It was quite amusing."  
_

_"Maybe to you. I am actually surprised that you weren't angry about those men staring and catcalling at me."_

_"Well, there's significant difference between them and me. They get to look," Ano wrapped his arms around Nathyrra's waist. "I get to look AND touch." He leaned down and kissed her. _

_Nathyrra returned the kiss for a few seconds before pushing away from him. She playfully raised an eyebrow. "I'm going to spoil you."_

_Ano grinned. "Please do." He kissed her again._

XXXXX

Nathyrra walked down the hallway. She stopped when she heard the sound of sniffling. Curious, she followed the sound. It was coming from her room. The drow opened the door.

Ano sat on the bed, crying as he looked at a picture album.

"Ano, what's wrong?" A concerned Nathyrra asked as she sat down next to him.

Ano jumped with surprise. "I didn't realize that you were in here." He grabbed a tissue and began wiping away his tears.

"Why were you crying?"

"I wasn't crying."

"Ano!"

"Fine." He sighed. "I'm gonna miss the twins. I was just looking at their pictures throughout the years and…" The dragon disciple suddenly grabbed Nathyrra in a hug, buried his face in her shoulders, and started bawling.

"Uh…it's okay, Sweetie." A startled Nathyrra stammered, patting him on the back.

Ano pulled away. "Sorry."

Nathyrra smiled and reached over to wipe away his tears. "Don't be. I'm glad that you're not bottling this up."

He chuckled. "I am too." He wrapped an arm around his wife's shoulders and pulled her closer. "I was just about to look at their five-year-old pictures."

A memory flashed through Nathyrra's mind.

XXXXX

_"Behave yourself while you're here." Nathyrra ordered her five-year-old daughter as they approached the house. _

_Halieth answered the door. "Hi, Ana!"_

_"Hi, Hali!" Ana greeted._

_Hali's father materialized behind his daughter. "Does Ana have everything for the sleepover?"_

_Nathyrra nodded._

_"Do you have everything for the sleepover?" He asked Nathyrra, winking. _

_Nathyrra decided to play along. "I think so."_

_"Did you remember your pajamas?"_

_Nathyrra was about to answer when Ana cried out, "She doesn't need pajamas! She sleeps naked!"_

_Everyone was silent for several minutes after that outburst._

_"Er…Well," The red-faced father began, "When do you want to pick her up, Nudethyrra—I mean, Nathyrra."_

_"Two hours before noon." Nathyrra said from behind clenched teeth._

_XXXXX_

That was mortifying, _Nathyrra thought later that night as she soaked in the bath. _I'm going to have to speak with Ana tomorrow. And possibly AJ. He may have said something when Ano dropped him off at Res's house.

_She stood up and wrapped herself in a towel. The drow walked out of the room and looked out the window. Her eyes widened when she saw that Snuggles had somehow gotten outside._

_Nathyrra walked onto the back porch. "Snuggles! Get back inside!"_

_Snuggles walked inside. As he walked through the entrance, he brushed against the door and accidentally closed it. Nathyrra tried to open it, but it was locked. She tried to walk away, but her towel was caught in the door. "Shit!" The drow cursed. _

_Sighing, she let the towel drop to the floor and snuck around to the front of the house. The front door was locked as well. The drow gritted her teeth. "This just gets better and better. Good thing Ano's gonna be home soon." She heard someone approaching. Thinking quickly, she ran towards one of the bushes._

_Nathyrra breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that it was only Ano. "Anotalex!" She hissed._

_Ano looked at the bush. "Nat?"_

_"Yes."_

_"What are you doing in the bush?"_

_"I got locked out."_

_"That doesn't explain why you're hiding in a bush."_

_"…I'm not wearing any clothes."_

_Ano smirked. "How did that happen?"_

_"I had just taken a bath. Snuggles got outside and I brought him back in. The door accidentally closed while I was still outside and my towel got caught. I was trying to open the front door but as you can see, it's locked and I don't exactly have any lock picks with me." She glared at him. "Stop laughing at me!"_

_"I'm not laughing. (Snort!)"_

_"Just shut up and open the door." _

_"I don't have a key."_

_"WHAT?"_

_"Well, you were home. I thought that I wouldn't need one."_

_"You imbecile!"_

_"I'm not the one who's completely naked, Nat."_

_"Look, this arguing is pointless. It's freezing and I wanna go back inside."_

_"Do you want my coat?"_

_"No, Ano, I just want to freeze." Nathyrra snapped sarcastically._

_"Alright then." Ano starting walking._

_"You're not gonna give me your coat?"_

_"You said you didn't want it."_

_"I was being sarcastic!"_

_"Oh, I couldn't tell. I am an imbecile after all."_

_"You are the most frustrating man in all of Toril!"_

_"That's a problem, isn't it?"_

_"I am going to kick your ass in a few seconds."_

_"Then you'd have to leave your bush."_

_"You've seen me naked before."_

_"Yes, but unless you've been leading a double life, the neighbors haven't."_

_"You are absolutely infuriating! Open the door! NOW!"_

_"Make me!"_

_One of their neighbors stuck his head out his window. "Is everything alright, Anotalex?" He called._

_"We're fine, Bob!" Ano replied._

_Bob blinked before closing his window and leaving._

_Nathyrra took a deep breath. "Ano, if you ever want to sleep with me again then open that door!"_

_Ano immediately sped off to obey. _I am such a man-bitch, _the dragon disciple thought as he climbed the wall of his house. He crawled into an open window in the attic. "Wrap yourself in this!" Ano threw a sheet out the window._

_Nathyrra grabbed it and wrapped the item around herself. A minute later, Ano opened the front door and she was able to go inside. _

_Ano smiled at her._

_She rewarded him with a sneer._

_"I was just teasing you, Kitten."_

_Her eyes continued to smolder._

_He took a step towards her, his arms wide open._

_She took a step backwards, her eyes daring him to come forward._

_The fighter gasped. "What's that?" He cried, pointing behind Nathyrra._

_Nathyrra quirked an eyebrow and turned around. _

_While she was distracted, Ano grabbed her arm and pulled her into an embrace._

_She scowled but soon gave in and rested her head against his chest._

_His brow furrowed. "By Tempus! You're as cold as ice, Kitten!"_

_"I wasn't joking." She growled._

_Ano pulled off his coat and wrapped it around her. "Let's get you warmed up."_

_"How might we do that?" Nathyrra asked, giving him a mischievous grin._

_Ano looked at her and burst out laughing. "You are a wicked, wicked woman, Nat."_

_"I'm glad I haven't lost my touch."_

_He shook his head. "I'm gonna go start a fire."_

_Nathyrra reached up and caressed his face, using her other hand to walk her fingers across his chest. "Are you certain that's the wisest choice of action?"_

_Ano stared at her. "You are really confusing sometimes. First, you're angry at me. Now, you wanna have sex. Are you sure that you're not a bit of a nymphomaniac? I truly don't understand you sometimes-" He was cut off by Nathyrra pressing a passionate kiss to his lips. _That'll shut him up, _the drow thought as she wrapped her arms around his neck…_

XXXXX

Ano laughed. "I rather enjoyed that."

Nathyrra frowned at him. "You're not the one who was freezing outside."

Ano grinned. "We should try that again sometime."

The drow returned her husband's grin with a glare and flipped the page.

XXXXX

_Nathyrra and Anotalex ushered their twins into the petting zoo. _

_"Have fun." Nathyrra murmured._

_The five-year-old twins grinned and ran inside._

_AJ looked at one of the roosters. "Hey, Mom!"_

_"Yes?" Nathyrra responded._

_AJ pointed at the animal. "This one's the biggest. I think he must be the daddy."_

_"That's nice, but don't go too close. I don't him to attack you with that beak of his."_

_Several minutes later the twins and their parents started to leave._

_AJ looked at a family that was just entering the zoo. "Watch out for Daddy. He's got a huge pecker!"_

_The other family stared at Anotalex, their eyes wide._

_A mortified Nathyrra grabbed her son's arm and pulled him out of the zoo._

XXXXX

Nathyrra sighed. "AJ has a knack for saying mortifying things."

Ano grinned wickedly. "I was actually rather flattered that the family thought he was talking about me."

Nathyrra rolled her eyes.

XXXXX

_"…Okay, that's the plan. You got all that?" AJ asked his six-year-old twin._

_"Are you sure this is okay? This seems wrong." Ana said._

_"It's only wrong if Mom catches us." AJ retorted. _

_The twins stealthily crept towards the kitchen. Nathyrra placed a tin of cookies on the counter before going back to a steaming pot. She whispered a spell and a cloud of blue smoke rose from the pot._

_The twins looked at each other._

_"I'm not coming down to dinner." AJ declared._

_"Me neither." Ana added._

_Ana walked into the kitchen. Nathyrra turned around and smiled. "Hey, Ana. What do you want?"_

_"Mommy, I think my ears are getting pointier. Could you check?" The half-drow gestured to her ears._

_Nathyrra hid a smile and looked at her daughters ears. While she did this, AJ snuck into the kitchen. He tiptoed towards the counter, took the tin of cookies, and slipped out of the room._

_"I think they are." Nathyrra stated._

_Ana smiled. "Thanks, Mommy." She ran out of the room._

_A few minutes later, the twins made their way up the stairs. _

_"Wow, it worked." An awed Ana said._

_"I know what I'm doing." AJ replied. _

_The two weren't looking as they walked up the stairs and accidentally bumped into something. AJ looked up to see his mother, staring down at her children. She unfolded her arms and held out one of her hands._

_AJ grudgingly handed over the tin. He shot her a defiant glare. "This isn't over! You have won the battle, but the war is not over!" He shouted._

_"Go clean your room." Nathyrra said in a flat voice._

_The twins walked towards their room. _

_"How does she do that?" Ana asked. "It's amazing, really."_

_"I don't know." AJ admitted. "But I'll figure it out. Then, I'll turn it against her."_

_Ana arched an eyebrow at her brother. _He's so weird, _she thought._

XXXXX

Ano looked at Nathyrra. "How _did_ you know that they had stolen all those cookies?"

"I'm was an assassin. It's my part of my job to know when things are amiss." Nathyrra informed him.

Ano turned the page.

XXXXX

_"Night, Mom. Night, Dad." AJ and Ana recited tiredly._

_"Night." Nathyrra and Anotalex said in unison._

_The two parents walked into their room. As they prepared to go to sleep, Ano decided to ask a question that he had been wondering for some time, "Nat?"_

_"Yes, Ano?" Nathyrra responded as she slid under the covers._

_Ano slid next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Do you think…well…"_

_"What is it, Anotalex?"_

_"That we'll have anymore children?"_

_Nathyrra gave him a weak smile. "Ano, we have an extremely long life ahead of us. Due to your Bhaal taint and my elven heritage, each of us has almost a millennium left to live. I think we should let our current pair of hell-raisers grow up before we even consider having more."_

_Ano nodded a bit sadly, "I understand. That's a good idea."_

_Nathyrra kissed his cheek. "Twenty years. Then we'll discuss it more."_

_Ano grinned. "We can still do the activities required for childbirth. Right?"_

_Nathyrra smirked. "Of course." She pulled him towards her and pressed a kiss to his lips…_

_XXXXX_

_The next morning, Nathyrra sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She smiled at her husband, who was still fast asleep. The drow walked into the privy._

_A minute later Ano was woken by the sound of someone screaming, "SHIIIIT!"_

_The dragon disciple immediately got out of bed and cast a burning hands spell. He ran into the privy. "What is it!" he shouted, his eyes crimson._

_Nathyrra was so pale that her face had turned from obsidian black to light grey. "I have lost…my birth control scroll."_

_Ano's eyes nearly bulged out of his skull. "WHAT?"_

_"Stop shouting! Can't you see that I'm distressed enough as it is?" Nathyrra bellowed._

_Ano's eyes turned back to there normal emerald green color. "Don't worry, Kitten. We'll find it."_

_"How can you say that? Do you have ANY idea how long it takes for me to order the damn things? By the time they come I'll be sitting around asking you if you want to hear the baby kicking!" _

_"Calm down, Kitten."_

_"Calm down? CALM DOWN? I'LL CALM DOWN WHEN I DAMN WELL FEEL LIKE IT!"_

There is no calming an angry female, _Ano decided._

_Nathyrra continued ranting, "How the HELL can you say something like that? You're not the one who could be-"_

_"Mommy?" A small voice said from the doorway._

_Ano and Nathyrra looked up._

_Ana stood in the entrance, her azure eyes wide with puzzlement and fear. "Are you okay?"_

_Nathyrra managed a small smile. "I-I'm alright. Don't worry about it, Ana."_

_Ana approached her mother and wrapped her arms around her mother's waist in an embrace. The seven-year-old did so with caution. She was well aware of how temperamental her mother could be, and had no wish to set her off again._

_Nathyrra felt part of her anxiety and anger melt away, and knelt down to return the gesture._

_After a few seconds, Ana broke away. She smiled and started to leave the room. The kid pulled a crumpled up scroll out of her pocket and started to play a one-person game of catch with it._

_Nathyrra's jaw dropped as Ana stepped out of the room. _

_"Uh…you might wanna close your mouth before something starts nesting in it." Ano pointed out._

_The drow ignored the jibe. "O-Our daughter has t-the scroll."_

_Ano winced. "I'll go and get it from her. You take this time to…err…compose yourself."_

_XXXXX_

_Ano walked into his daughter's room. Ana was sitting on the bed, practicing making her wings disappear. Ano had taught her to do so several years ago and she had decided that she—and AJ—liked to be wingless. When Ano asked why, she had told him that it was easier to fit through doors._

_"Ana," Ano began, sitting down next to her._

_The child gave her father a brilliant grin. "Yes, Daddy?"_

_"What happened to that scroll?"_

_Ana giggled. "I hid it."_

_"…What?"_

_"I hid it. Now you and Mommy have to find it if ya want it back." She walked out of the room, leaving her astonished father sitting on the bed._

_XXXXX_

_Nathyrra crept into Ana's room. While Ano distracted her with a game, Nathyrra would find the scroll. First, she looked under the bed. Downstairs, Snuggles suddenly started barking. Nathyrra jumped with surprise and accidentally hit her head on the bed. "Damn it." She cursed and rubbed her aching head._

_She could hear Ano answering the door. "Hey, Drak."_

_"Hey, Ano."_

_"DRAK!" The twins shouted gleefully._

_Nathyrra scowled. She had forgotten that Drak was visiting today. _He's going to have a field day with this one, _she thought as she continued to search. She was unsuccessful in finding the scroll. She attempted to open another drawer. This one was locked._

_Nathyrra attempted to open it. It remained locked. Nathyrra muttered several obscenities that insulted the drawer's mental abilities and sexual history with its mother, and once again tried to open it. The drawer refused to budge._

_Nathyrra heard voices approaching. Thinking quickly, she crawled under the bed. She whispered a prayer of thanks to Eilistraee for her slim figure, and waited._

_Ana, Drak—in his human form—and Ano walked into the room. Ana said, "It's just under the bed."_

Shit, _Nathyrra thought._

_Ana walked over to the bed and bent down to look under. She blinked. "Mommy, what are you doing?"_

_"I thought the dog was the one who used to hide under the bed when company came." Drak drawled._

_Nathyrra glared at him and pulled herself halfway out from under the bed. She looked at her daughter. "Ana, I really, REALLY need that scroll."_

_Ana smiled. "Okay." _

_"Where is it?" Nathyrra asked, trying not to sound impatient._

_"In your room!" Ana said brightly._

_"…What?"_

_"I hid it in Daddy's sock drawer."_

_Nathyrra was silent for several seconds._

_"I'll go get it." Ana offered._

_As soon as Ana left, Drak started roaring with laughter._

_Nathyrra glared at him. "I'm glad you find it amusing."_

_"I find it far more than amusing. Though now, Ana's nickname, 'Daddy's Little Defect' is even more justified than ever."_

_Nathyrra ignored him, and left the room._

XXXXX

Ano chuckled. "At least now we can look back and laugh at it."

The look Nathyrra gave him was anything but amused. "I'm not laughing, Anotalex."

Ano shrugged. "AJ wasn't much better, if I recall."

XXXXX

_AJ walked down the hall. He could distantly hear his parents' voices in the living room._

_"You bitch!" An enraged Ano shouted._

_"WHAT? You bastard!" Nathyrra shot back._

_AJ walked into the room. "What does 'bitch' and 'bastard' mean?" the seven-year-old asked innocently._

_Ano and Nathyrra's eyes widened._

_"Err…it means 'ladies and gentlemen', Buddy." Ano said quickly._

_AJ smiled. "Okay." He left the room._

_Nathyrra sighed and turned towards Ano. "Tomorrow's Midwinter Eve. We shouldn't be fighting."_

_Ano smiled. "I'm sorry."_

_"I am too."_

_XXXXX_

_The next day, Ano was in the privy, shaving. AJ walked into the room._

_Ano accidentally cut himself. "Shit!" he cried out as he reached for something to stop the blood flow. _

_"What does 'shit' mean?" AJ asked._

_Ano's eyes bulged. "Uh…it means 'shaving cream'."_

_AJ nodded and left._

_XXXXX_

_Nathyrra stood in the kitchen, cutting the turkey. _

_"Hi, Mom." AJ greeted as he walked in._

_Nathyrra was surprised by his voice. The knife slipped and she accidentally cut the web between her thumb and index finger. "FUCK!" she shouted. The drow grabbed a rag off the counter._

_"Mom, what does 'fuck' mean?"_

_Nathyrra froze. "Err...it means 'to cut a turkey'."_

_"Oh."_

_  
XXXXX_

_Five minutes later, the guests arrived. AJ opened the door to greet his relatives and the close friends of his parents. He gave them all a wide grin. "Hello, bitches and bastards. Sorry my parents aren't here. My dad's upstairs putting shit on his face and my mom's fucking the turkey, but they'll be here in a few minutes."_

_The guests looked at the boy in stunned silence._

_Drak blinked. "All I never wanted to know about Nat and Ano…and so much more."_

XXXXX

Ano winced. "That was mortifying."

Nathyrra nodded in agreement and turned the page.

XXXXX

_"Hey, Sweetie." Nathyrra greeted as she walked into the room._

_Ano looked up at her. "Hey, where were you? I know you said you were gonna be home late but it's two hours until midnight and you said that you were gonna be home an hour ago."_

_"I know. I got pulled over for speeding."_

_"Did you get a ticket?"_

_"No. I talked the officer out of it." Nathyrra said, wearing a smug grin._

_Ano scowled._

_Nathyrra smiled and smoothed back Ano's hair. "All I did was speak to him. Nothing else." she assured him._

_"It's not that." Ano said, frowning. "I just think it's really unfair that you can get out of getting a ticket by pouting and flirting. If I ever tried that, I would get arrested."_

_Nathyrra chuckled before bending down to kiss him. _

_XXXXX_

_Later that night, Ano sat up. His eyelids were half-closed, and he slowly dragged himself out of bed. If anyone had seen him from afar, they would have believed him to be awake. In truth,_ _Ano was still asleep. He walked out of the room._

_XXXXX_

_Later that night—around three hours past midnight—Nathyrra suddenly woke up. She rolled over to see that her husband was not there. The drow blinked in surprise. _Where is he, _she wondered. _Perhaps he's in the privy. _She waited for half an hour for him to come back, but he did not. After awhile, she fell asleep._

_XXXXX_

_Nathyrra's eyes fluttered open. She checked the time and saw that it was seven hours past midnight. _The twins won't be up yet, _she thought. The drow looked over her shoulder and saw that her husband was still absent. _

_A bit confused, Nathyrra got up. A few minutes later, she finished getting dressed, brushing her teeth, combing her hair, etc, and walked out of the room._

_When Nathyrra entered the kitchen, she saw Ano. His head rested on the kitchen table as he rested. _Was he here all night? _Nathyrra wondered, noting that he wore only a pair of pajama pants. _

_"Ano." The drow whispered, poking him in the shoulder._

_He slowly opened his eyes. "Huh?" He asked dumbly._

_"Where were you last night?" Nathyrra asked._

_"What are you talking about?" _

_"I woke up and you weren't there." She quirked an eyebrow. "Care to explain what you were doing at three hours past midnight?"_

_"I don't know what you're talking about."_

_"Don't lie to me, Anotalex."_

_"I'm not lying!"_

_Nathyrra studied him for a long moment, her eyes calculating. "You are telling the truth." _

_"No, but I remember…" He suddenly smiled. "Just a minute." _

_Nathyrra gave him a quizzical look as he walked over to the counter. "What are you doing?" _

_"I remember having this in my hand." Ano held up a scarlet rose. "I must have gotten it for you." The dragon disciple handed it to his wife._

_Nathyrra smiled despite herself. "You don't have to go out at three hours past midnight to get me roses. You could go any time that I'm at work." _

_"That's the thing; I wouldn't." Ano's eyes widened. "No! Not that I wouldn't buy you roses, I probably just wouldn't at three hours past midnight. I mean, it's a good idea. Why wouldn't I buy you roses? You're my wife; I'm supposed to buy you roses. And-"_

_He was silenced by Nathyrra pressing a finger to his lips. She smiled. "I understand, Ano. I appreciate the gesture."_

_Ano breathed a sigh of relief._

_Nathyrra chuckled at his momentary anxiety and pressed a kiss to his lips._

_XXXXX_

_The next morning—at three hours past midnight—Nathyrra once again woke. Anotalex was not there. _

_XXXXX_

_"Where were you?" Nathyrra asked later, once again finding her husband asleep on the table._

_Ano lifted his head. "Huh?"_

_"You left again."_

_"Oh. That explains this." He held up a purple rose and another red rose._

_Nathyrra took them, feeling half-flattered and half-puzzled._

_XXXXX_

_Over the next several days, Ano continued to leave during the night and Nathyrra continued to receive roses. She and her daughter sat at the kitchen table, surrounded by dozens of roses._

_Ana held up a red rose. "Red symbolizes true love." The eight-year recited. "Purple basically means 'I will always love you'. Lavender stands for love at first sight. Burgundy means unconscious beauty. Lilac means the first emotions of love. Blue symbolizes fantasies and miracles. Orange represents desire and enthusiasm and pretty much says 'I'm proud of you!' Coral means desire. Pink means that Daddy has sweet thoughts about you. White means a love stronger than death. Yellow means pure joy. Pastel means friendship. Hybrid tea says that he'll remember you always. All these together definitely mean that Daddy really, REALLY loves you."_

_Nathyrra blinked. "How do you know all this?" _

_"I looked it up."_

_Nathyrra ran her fingers through her hair. "I don't understand why your father won't just admit that he's done all this for me. I'm flattered, but it's quite obvious that all this going out at night is taking a toll on him. I caught him asleep on his desk three times today."_

_Ano walked into the room. His emerald green eyes had a glazed over look and he was swaying slightly. "Going. Store. Back. Grapefruit. Walrus." He turned around and accidentally knocked into his son. "Sorry, Faeryl." He muttered before leaving._

_AJ raised an eyebrow. "Who the heck is Faeryl?"_

_Nathyrra shook her head. "Never mind that."_

_"Did what Dad said even make sense?" Anathyrra asked._

_"No." Nathyrra replied. _

_"So what are you gonna do about Dad?"_

_"I have a plan."_

_XXXXX_

_That night, Nathyrra tied the end of a two meter string around her ankle and the other end around Ano's ankle. He barely even noticed as she did so, and fell asleep immediately._

_A few hours later, Nathyrra felt a tug on her ankle. She opened her eyes just as Ano started walking towards the door, which caused Nathyrra to be pulled off the bed. _

_"ARGH! What are you doing? You stupid male!" Nathyrra shouted as she was dragged across the floor._

_Ana and AJ walked out of their room. AJ was the first to speak, "Mom, what are you doing?"_

_"Being dragged across the floor by your father." she replied in a flat voice._

_"I think Daddy's been sleepwalking." Ana stated._

_Nathyrra used her magic to cut the string. She stood up and watched as Anotalex walked out the door._ _"Let's follow him."_

_"Mom."_

_"Yes, AJ?"_

_"…You're in your underwear."_

_"It's dark. No one will see."_

_"What? Whenever I wanna walk around in my underwear you always tell me to put clothes on!"_

_"That's because you always want to walk around in your underwear when we have company over." Nathyrra shook her head. "We don't have time for this. Let's go."_

_The three stepped outside. Ano walked down the street, occasionally waving to people that weren't there. The man eventually stopped in front of a flower shop and walked inside._

_"So this is where he's been going." Nathyrra murmured. _

_"Why do you think he started?" Ana asked._

_"I don't know, but I have a scroll that can fix it." Nathyrra looked at the twins. "Wait here. I'm going to get your father."_

_XXXXX_

_"Hello, Sir. What can I do for you?" The florist asked. The man was a bit curious as to why this dragon disciple was here so late at night, but didn't press the matter._

_The disciple muttered something indistinct. _

_The florist gave him a confused look. "I'm sorry. Could you repeat that please?"  
_

_At that moment, a drow female walked into the store. His expression turned from surprise to admiration. She was beautiful, and she was in her underwear._

_"Wake up, Sweetie." She said to the disciple, giving his arm a light tug._

_The man blinked, his emerald green eyes becoming more focused. He gave the drow a puzzled look. "Nat? What are we doing here? What time is it? I thought…" He paused. "And why are you in your underwear?"_

_"I'll explain everything later. The twins are outside." She took his hand and led him towards the door._

_The florist's eyes followed the woman as she left. Her husband noticed and shot him a warning glare._

_XXXXX_

_The next morning, the entire family sat at the kitchen table. Ano looked at Nathyrra as she sat down. "Are you sure the scroll will work?"_

_"I'm positive. And even it doesn't, I have a special present that will help you sleep, but I'll give it to you tonight." She winked at him._

_Ano's eyes widened. "Special present? I don't wanna wait! Come on, I've been giving you roses all week! I want the present right now; I want the kids to see!"_

_Nathyrra stared at him in utter shock._

_Ano blinked in realization. "Oh…right. I'll wait." He winked at her as well._

XXXXX

Nathyrra glared at Ano. "You are incredibly dense at times."

"It's not my fault. It's genetic." Ano turned the page.

XXXXX

_Ano entered the building. Joragin and a human Drak waved at him from the bar. Ano sat down and ordered a drink. "Shadowdark Ale, please."_

_"In a fight with Nat?" Drak asked._

_"How did you know?"_

_"You always drink that when she's pissed at you. Or PMSing." Drak responded._

_"What happened?" Joragin asked._

_Ano sighed. "The kids are spending the night at a friend's house. We decided that we'd…uh…"_

_"Have craz,y wild sex?" Drak suggested._

_"Yeah. But, we somehow got into a fight. I said some things…and she kicked me out. Now I need to figure out how to fix it."_

_Drak sighed._

_"What?"_

_"You see, Ano, you married an unbelievably bossy and spirited woman. In case you haven't noticed, she bosses you around like a servant AND kicks you out like a lapdog. You gotta show her who's boss. Women will never admit it, but they like to be controlled. You need to take her behind that bedroom door and show her who's in charge. This is no time to be a gentleman."_

_"He's right, Ano." Joragin pointed out. "I got tough with Shar once. I came home the next night and she was wearing nothing but a plastic wrap bikini. Of course, now I can't look at sandwiches the same way…" _(AM: Quote from Cheers. Go Norm.)

_"But-"_

_"But what? Quit being a wuss. You've faced worse than her and lived. She's just one woman. Stand up to her, dude!"_

_Ano put on a fierce grin. "You're right." He stood up and strode proudly out the door._

_"You think it'll work?" Joragin asked._

_"Please. Nat's gonna eat him alive." Drak said matter-of-factly. He then grinned. "It'll be great."_

_XXXXX_

_Ano pounded on the door. "Nathyrra!" _

_"Go away, Anotalex!" She shouted._

_"If you don't let me in, I'll break down this door!"_

_"Leave me the HELL alone!"_

_"I warned you!" Ano took a stepped back and rammed into the door. It took him several tries, but he managed to break through the door. Nathyrra stared at him in complete astonishment. "I said-"_

_Ano grabbed her wrists and pressed a forceful kiss to her mouth. After a few seconds he locked his crimson eyes with her own thunderstruck blue. "I don't care what you said. We're going to forget about our fight, and we're going to do what we planning to do." He swept her off her feet and carried her up the stairs, putting her down when he reached their room. "Go inside, **woman**." He commanded._

_A foolish grin curled her lips. "Okay." She said in a slightly ditzy voice. _Holy shit it's working, _Ano thought with amazement._

_"Just give me a few minutes to slip into something more comfortable." Nathyrra purred. _

_Ano nodded._

_Nathyrra walked into the room and shut the door. Ano could hear voices from within. "Who are you talking to?" He demanded. _

_"No one." Several minutes later, Nathyrra stepped out wearing the same pair of jeans and red, sleeveless shirt she had been wearing. _

_Ano gave her a confused look. "I thought you said that you were gonna slip into something more comfortable!"_

_"Oh I know. I didn't have time. I had to call the militia, after all. Do want some coffee?" She pushed past him walked down the stairs._

_Ano ran after her, shocked. "WHAT? Why the hell did you call the militia?"_

_"Breaking and entering, threatening, etc. Do you want cream or sugar?"_

_Ano walked into the common room and sat down on the couch, a helpless expression on his face. Nathyrra walked in with two coffee cups and placed them on the coffee table._

_"First of all, it's both our houses. Second of all, I wasn't threatening you!" He ran his fingers through his hair. "You're a nightmare! I can't please you, I can't win against you. What am I supposed to do?"_

_Nathyrra sat down next to her husband and locked her fingers with his. "Now do you understand that behaving like that will do no good for you?"_

_Ano sighed. "I'm sorry."_

_Nathyrra grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I rather liked being carried though."_

_Ano picked her up, giving her a wry smile. "You've made my life a living hell."_

_"Consider it my gift to you. You know, it wasn't easy to make you think that I had called the militia."_

_"…You didn't really call?"_

_"I didn't really call."_

_Ano gaped at her. "You little-" He was cut off by Nathyrra pressing a kiss to his lips. "Let's go upstairs, Ano."_

_He started walking towards their room…_

XXXXX

Nathyrra looked at the next year. "The pictures from my birthday. Don't think I haven't forgotten that poem." she glared at Ano.

He grinned back at her.

XXXXX

_"Ladies and gentlemen, before we begin singing 'Happy Birthday' I'd like to recite this poem for my wife." Ano stated as he stood on the stage._

_Nathyrra's eyes bulged. "Oh gods no."_

_  
Ano cleared his throat._

_She's the prettiest woman I've seen_

_I adore her, my wonderful queen_

_I love how she hates her nickname, Kitten_

_She probably hates this poem that I've written_

_I love her smile_

_To find her, I'd run a mile_

_I love her wit_

_Even though she gives me shit_

_When's she's embarrassed, she turns as red as a beet_

_Gods bless the ground beneath her feet_

_I love how cute she is when she's mad_

_And how wonderful I feel when she's glad_

_I love to do whatever she fancies_

_She occasionally lets me dance around in her panties_

_I love how lucky I am_

_To have someone like her_

_I love you, Nat_

_Count on that_

_The guests clapped, looking at Nathyrra. She wasn't sure whether to kiss Ano or kill him. The drow folded her arms and shook her head, smiling slightly._

_Drak flew up to her and perched on her shoulder. "…Do you really let him dance around in your panties? How the hell does he even fit in those?"_

_"Shut up, Drak."_

XXXXX

Ano flipped the page to the twins' eleven-year-old photos.

XXXXX

_AJ sat on the playground, eating a sandwich. Resotyr sat next to him, drinking a juice box. Behind him, stood Terrence Blueshield. AJ could distantly hear him talking._

_"…Derlyn, that little half-breed."_

_AJ immediately snapped to attention._

_"Little bastard son of a traitor and a drow whore. I can't believe that his dad actually would sleep with a hideous creature like a drow. But then again, that lunatic did kill his own dad, so he knows what else he's done."_

_"But Terrence, isn't Anotalex Derlyn redeemed?" Another boy asked._

_AJ gritted his teeth._

_"Let it go, AJ." Res pleaded._

_"Yeah right. What decent human would marry a drow? Although, AJ may be a winged freak, but his sister is HOT. Love to see her naked."_

_That was the final straw. AJ walked over to the boy. "You wanna say that to my face, Terrence?" He asked angrily._

_Terrence gave him cruel grin. "You're a half-breed bastard."_

_AJ snarled and shoved him. Terrence, being at least a foot taller, barely even budged. AJ threw a punch at him. Terrence dodged and threw a punch at AJ. It hit the boy in the jaw, sending him to the ground. Terrence looked at him with disgust and started to turn around. _

_"Where are you going?" AJ spat, shakily standing up. _

_Terrence looked at him, confused._

_"Hit me again. I ain't dead yet." AJ declared, his blue eyes smoldering._

_Terrence grinned and walked towards him._

_XXXXX_

_Ano picked up the letters and began sorting through the mail. "Death threat. Death threat. Death threat. You have won. Death threat. Death threat. Letter from Aribeth. Death threat. Death threat." He looked up. "Nat! We got another death threat from the followers of Lolth!"_

_"Oh. Send them a fruit basket!" She called from the kitchen._

_The wisp suddenly started buzzing. Ano couldn't make out what Nathyrra was saying. A few minutes later, Nathyrra walked into the room. "AJ got into a fight today."_

_Ano sighed. "I'll get my coat."_

_XXXXX_

_An hour later, they returned home with AJ. Their son was covered in bruises and badly beaten. _

_"I'll get a healing kit." Nathyrra stated as she walked out the room._

_Ano gave AJ a weak smile. "You win?"_

_"No." AJ said bitterly. _

_"Well, we can't win 'em all." _

_"Dad."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"I want you teach me how to fight. I know you've been teaching me to use a sword, but I wanna learn how to fight with my fists. I wanna be able to defend myself."_

_Ano looked uneasy. Seeing this, AJ said, "Come on, Dad. I need to know how. I just wanna be able to defend myself."_

_"Alright, but on two conditions. One, no telling your mother. We had planned to teach you this when you turned thirteen. And two," His emerald green eyes bore into AJ's blue. "Promise me that you will fight only for good. In self-defense, or the defense of someone else. It'd break my heart if you became a ruthless killer."_

_"I promise."_

_"Good. We'll start tomorrow."_

_XXXXX_

_The next morning, Ano quietly snuck out of his room and into AJ's. "Wake up, Buddy." The dragon disciple gently shook him._

_AJ groaned. "What time is it?"_

_"Four hours past midnight. Now get up. We only have three hours before your mother wakes up."_

_"Fine."_

_Ano lead AJ into the combat room of the house. AJ had been in the room many times before, but this time was different. This time, he would learn to fight without a weapon._

_Ano motioned for him to come nearer. "First thing's first. We're going to learn the stances." He went into an offensive pose and bade AJ to copy him. After a number of tries, AJ perfected most of the stances his father had taught him. Ano smiled with pride. His son was a natural fighter—though he had lost to Terrence—as well as a quick learner. The disciple also saw that whatever his son lacked in strength, he made up in speed. _Just like his mother, _Ano thought as AJ performed a basic pattern dance._

_"That's all we'll do for today." He commanded._

_XXXXX_

_Three days later, Ano and AJ stood in front of a combat dummy. "Do as I do." Ano threw a right hook at the dummy before slamming his knee into the torso. AJ copied him. "OW!" he cried out, not realizing how hard the dummy actually was._

_"Keep practicing. You'll build up calluses on your hands which soften the impact."_

_AJ nodded. _

_XXXXX_

_Two months passed. Ano had already started to show him some of the more advanced moves. Everyday Ano became prouder of his son. He was already a decent fighter, and could hold his own against a much larger opponent._

_"That's all for today." Ano ordered._

_"Dad, I wanna try fighting you sometime."_

_"Don't be foolish. I'm far more experienced and you're not ready to fight me. In a few years, you will be."_

_"Fine."_

_Later that night, Ano heard a crash. He blinked. "Must be a burglar."_

_"Ano…" _

_"I'm going." Ano said tiredly and stood up._

_"Wake up, Sweetie. You're sloppy when you're tired. Also, don't break anything." Nathyrra said._

_"I know. I know." He walked out of the room and Nathyrra closed her eyes. _

_A man wearing a black mask and hood stood in the living room. He reached towards a candlestick._

_"Ya know I bought that for my wife last Midwinter." Ano said casually._

_The man spun around and gasped with shock at the 6'7" dragon disciple that stood behind him. "Holy-"_

_Quick as a flash, Ano grabbed the man's throat and lifted him into the air. "Quiet please. My wife has to work tomorrow." Ano whispered. He switched his grip to the back of the thief's shirt and carried him out of the room._

_"AJ, wake up." Ano commanded, gently shaking his son with one hand, holding the thief with the other. _

_AJ woke up. "Burglar?" The elven-year-old asked, gesturing to the man._

_Ano nodded. "Let's go into the kitchen."_

_When they reached the kitchen, Ano dropped the man on the floor._

_The thief stood up and brushed himself off. "Are you gonna call the militia?"_

_"Naw, I'm not really a militia kind of guy. I'm gonna give you a choice." He gestured to AJ. "You can fight my son…or me. Take your pick."_

_"You want to fight a ten-year-old?" the thief asked incredulously._

_"Eleven!" snapped AJ._

_"You heard me. Take your pick." Ano stated._

_"Your son then." The thief said._

_Ano smiled. "Have fun, Buddy."_

_AJ snarled and tackled the thief to the ground. Shocked by the ferocity of the child, the thief barely even managed to block his attacks. Ano watched with mild amusement as his son beat the thief._

_Ana walked into the kitchen, just in time to see AJ jump on the thief's back. "Thief?"_

_"Yep. I'm letting AJ fight him for practice. Don't tell your mother that I've been teaching him how to fight for the last two months."_

_"Two months? Mom's been teaching me since I was four."_

_"She has?"_

_"Yeah." Ana walked towards the pantry. "Can I have a cookie?"_

_Her father shrugged. "Sure."_

_XXXXX_

_Several weeks later, Ano and Nathyrra received another wisp call. When they arrived at the school, they saw that AJ was unscathed. Ano smiled. AJ smiled back._

_Nathyrra arched an eyebrow at Ano, her expression saying volumes of 'I know what you've been doing.'_

_Ano merely grinned._

XXXXX

Nathyrra smiled at the next page. "That's the year Pliac was born."

"Yep."

XXXXX

_Sharwyn carried Pliac into the room and placed him in his crib. "Do you want me to sing you a lullaby, honey?" she cooed._

_"Do I ever wish to hear your nauseating voice perform the art of singing?" Pliac snapped. "But if you must exercise your pathetic talents, please sing this." He handed her a piece of paper._

_Sharwyn smiled. "You want Mommy to sing this? Sure thing." She cleared her throat and began to sing._

_Hush, little baby, don't say a word,  
I'm gonna buy you a mockingbird. _

And if that mockingbird don't tweet,  
I'll break that stupid birdie's feet

And if that diamond ring turn brass,  
I'll kick that jeweler's sorry ass.

And if that looking glass gets broke,  
I'll make the dumb shopkeeper choke

And if that Billy goat don't pull,  
I'm gonna shove it's face in bull.

And if that cart and bull overturn,  
I'll send them to the hells to burn

And if that dog named Rover won't bark,  
I'll kill him when it's night and dark

And if that horse and cart fall down,  
I'll kick his corpse out of the town

By the time she finished, Pliac was fast asleep. Joragin blinked from the doorway. "That's a bit of an odd song."

_"Yes, but he wanted me to sing it." Sharwyn bent down and kissed Pliac's forehead before standing up to leave._

_"Don't I get a kiss?" Joragin asked mock-indignantly._

_Sharwyn chuckled and pressed a kiss to his lips._

_"Loathsome wretches." Pliac muttered in his sleep._

XXXXX

Ano grinned. "Remember Pliac's birthday the next year?"

XXXXX

_Pliac scowled as Sharwyn placed the cake in the backyard. "Matriarchal imbecile. What fool would desire such an idiotic celebration on the day of their creation…I just said a rhyme…DAMN IT TO HELL! "_

_"Jor! Did you get a hold of that petting zoo yet?" Sharwyn called._

_"Not yet, Shar!" Joragin replied._

_Pliac sighed. "That's it. I will take my leave now." The young child walked around to the front of the house. _

_"Hey kid!" A voice called._

_Pliac stopped. "What the hell was that?" _

_"Come here!"_

_Pliac looked over in the direction of the voice. It was coming from the sewer drain. Pliac walked over to the drain._

_A white-faced, red-haired clown grinned at him. "Hey there kid, what's your name?"_

_"What's yours? Ronald?" Pliac taunted._

_"It's Pennywise. What's yours?"_

_"I feel absolutely no incentive to give you that information."_

_"Come on, I just wanna know your name."_

_"If you must be informed, it's Pliac. Now leave me be!"_

_Do you want a balloon? I've got red and green and yellow and blue..."_

_"My favorite color is black, cretin."_

_"Well…I can make black."_

_"Is it filled with all the deadly venom of a poisonous arachnid?"_

_"…No, but it floats."_

_"What makes you think I am interested in such a mediocre fact?"_

_"You're a kid. Kids love balloons that float!" The clown said desperately._

_"I don't care, Pennywuss.."_

_"It's Pennywise, you little bastard!"_

_"That's it. I am no longer to sully myself with your repugnant company." Pliac turned around._

_Pennywise reached out and grabbed his arm. "They float. And when you're down here with me, Georgie, you'll float too."_

_"My name is Pliac! Not Georgie, you mentally challenged entertainer! I've seen harlots who wear less makeup than you! What grotesque feature are you trying to deemphasize with all of that hideous covering?"_

_"That's it!" Pennywise opened his mouth, revealing rows of sharp teeth. He leaned towards Pliac's arm._

_The child's hand glowed with a prepared spell. "You may wish to rethink your current course of action."_

_Pennywise's eyes widened. Oh shit, he thought. The clown immediately let go of Pliac's arm. "I'll just be going now."_

_Pliac smiled cruelly. "Excellent. Leave now before I change my mind about sparing you my wrath." _

_The clown disappeared back into the sewers. _

_"Victory is mine." Pliac said, grinning._

_"There you are!" Sharwyn cried. She picked up the boy. "It's almost time to sing Happy Birthday."_

_"Blast! Damn you, woman." Pliac hissed._

_"I love you too." Sharwyn hugged him._

XXXXX

Nathyrra turned the page once more.

XXXXX

_Nathyrra walked into the kitchen. She sighed. Dammit. Ana forgot her lunch. She checked the time. I suppose I can drop it off. The drow grabbed the paper bag._

_XXXXX_

_"So anyway, those ice-cream carriages are a conspiracy. The music the drivers play has subliminal messages, encouraging young children to buy their ice-cream at any cost, no matter how outrageous it may be." AJ stated._

_"You're on crack, aren't you?" Ana asked in a flat voice._

_"No, I'm not. By the way, Mom is standing at the door."_

_Ana turned around. Her mother stood in the doorway of the classroom. Ana stood up and walked over to her. "What are you doing here?"_

_Nathyrra handed the fourteen-year-old her lunch._

_"Oh. Thanks, Mom."_

_"No problem, Ana. Your father will pick you up after school." Nathyrra said before leaving._

_Ana walked over to her desk. Three of her classmates—Oliver, Pete, and Wayne—were staring at her. _

_"What?" Ana asked._

_"Holy crap, your Mom's hot." Wayne said in awed wonder._

_"Uh…thanks…I guess." Ana said uneasily._

_"You should forget your lunch more often. I mean there's hot, but then there's **hot**. And your Mom is definitely the latter. I mean…WOW." Pete said, grinning._

_"Yeah but I don't think my 6'7" war veteran father would be too pleased by me forgetting my lunch." Ana said, smiling as well._

_Pete's eyes widened and his smiled slipped._

_"Ana's Mom, has got it goin' on. She's all I've wanted, and I've waited so long." Oliver sang. "Ana can't you see-"_

_Ana punched him in the shoulder._

_"Ow." Oliver muttered, rubbing his shoulder._

_XXXXX_

_"How was school, Ana?" Nathyrra asked several hours later._

_"Well, you made a lasting impression on my male classmates."_

_"Oh?"_

_"They all think you're the hottest thing they've ever seen." _

_"Punks." Ano spat._

_"Ano, be quiet." Nathyrra commanded._

_"So if we start getting wisp calls where no one's on the other line, it's probably one of the guys, wanting to hear your voice, Mom."_

_Nathyrra raised an eyebrow. "Alright then."_

_Ana left the room._

_Ano wore a disgruntled scowl and mumbled something incomprehensible._

_Nathyrra looked at him. "Don't tell me that you're feeling competitive with a bunch of teenage boys."_

_"Well, how would you like it if a bunch of Ana's female classmates starting getting crushes on me?"_

_"I wouldn't care, Anotalex." She grinned and sat down next to him. "I know that you're mine." The drow pressed a kiss to her husband's lips._

_Ano grinned. "I feel so loved." He kissed Nathyrra._

XXXXX

"Now that I think of it, when was the last time I did this?" Ano leaned towards Nathyrra and gave her a kiss.

Nathyrra smiled. "A few minutes ago."

"Well good. If I don't do that at least twenty times a day, I feel empty inside." The dragon disciple said, winking at her.

Nathyrra chuckled and flipped the page.

XXXXX

_"So, did you figure it out, Res?" AJ asked._

_Res leaned over in his desk. "Almost."_

_"Well-"_

_"Mr. Derlyn," an annoyed Ms. Townsend began, "Would you like to share what you did this summer with the class?"_

_AJ smiled. "Certainly, Ma'am." The fifteen-year-old cleared his throat. "Well, I fornicated with a bisexual, but then his girlfriend walked in on us just when it was getting good. Naturally, she kicked the living crap out of me and sent me running for life, naked and speeding down the street. I had really connected with him that night, and I wanted him back. So, I performed several animal ritualistic slaughters, sacrificed cheerleaders and small chipmunks to Mephistopheles, and held several orgies and drug conventions, but it was decapitating the voodoo doll of his girlfriend that eventually worked. I was the only one who could comfort him during the troubled time that his headless girlfriend was rotting in a grave. We ended up having wild, passionate, homosexual love-making and I danced around in his girlfriend's thong to make him feel better. Things didn't work out, but we're still friends."  
_

_The class smirked at Ms. Townsend's appalled face._

_XXXXX_

_Anotalex and Nathyrra sat in the principal's office. Anotalex glared at AJ as he walked into the room. "What did you do?"_

_AJ shrugged. "I was just expressing myself creatively."_

_Nathyrra sighed. _

XXXXX

Ano scowled. "That was nothing compared to what he did the next year."

"Yep."

XXXXX

_AJ and Tamorlyn stood behind the field stadium. _

_"Are you sure about this?" Tam asked._

_"Of course I am. I wanna go out with Daniel and she'll only go out with me if I find a date for her twin, Tanya. You'll go out with Tanya. But in order to get their attention, we're going to dazzle them. Plus, I already paid the school band leader." _

_Tamorlyn sighed. "Why am I doing this?"_

_"Because we're family. Now come on, Tam." The sixteen-year-olds climbed to the top of the bleachers._

_Meanwhile, Daniel and Tanya walked over to Ana. Daniel spoke, "Hey, Ana, what was that assignment in Mr. Druis's class?"_

_"Yeah, we have to—oh gods no."_

_"What?" Tanya asked._

_Ana pointed behind them. _

_AJ grinned and gave the band the signal to start playing. He and Tamorlyn began to sing._

_When I was young  
I fell in love  
She was a goddess  
With a world inside of her mind  
When she moved on  
Something went wrong  
She took my power  
And the love I had inside  
Now that I found you  
I don't know how to_

_The three girls stared at them in utter shock. AJ grinned at Daniel as Tamorlyn grinned at Tanya. They continued to sing._

_If I could fall  
In love again  
I'd fall in love with you _

If I could change  
A grain of sand  
Into a pearl I would

I pray in time  
I'll come to find  
Away to break through  
And save this heart of mine  
You've waited long  
If you can't hold on  
I wouldn't blame you  
I don't think I'd be that strong  
What am I to do  
If I can't have you

What did I do to deserve a brother like him? Oh good, here comes security, _Ana thought._

_Tamorlyn and Anotalex Junior jumped from bleacher to bleacher and easily avoided the security guards. _

_If I could fall  
In love again  
I'd fall in love with you _

If I could change  
A grain of sand  
Into a pearl I would

You love me so  
Even though I don't know  
How do you deal  
With a man like me

If I could fall  
In love again  
I'd fall in love with you

If I could change  
A grain of sand  
Into a pearl I would  
I would, I would, I would

_As soon as he finished singing, AJ shouted, "Will you go out with me, Daniel?" He and Tamorlyn ran out of the stadium._

_Ana buried her face in her hands for several seconds before looking up. "Daniel, I am so sorry."_

_"For what? I'm flattered." Daniel pulled out a slip of paper. "Could you give me your brother's wisp number?"_

_"Who was the guy that was with him?" Tanya asked._

_"My cousin, Tamorlyn." Ana responded._

_"Could you give me his number?" Tanya asked._

_Ana sighed and began to recite the numbers._

XXXXX

"It's a shame things didn't work out." Nathyrra commented.

"Yeah. Then there was that thing with Delilah the next year."

XXXXX

_Anathyrra and Delilah sat next to the lake. It was a hot, summer day and they had both decided to go to the village lake rather than stay at Ana's house._

_"I still can't believe Sampson said Hailey was hot." Del grumbled._

_"Well, you asked him to be honest."_

_"Yeah, but he was supposed to agree with me and say that she wasn't!" _

_A young boy accidentally threw his dodge ball over by Ana. She bent down and threw it back to him, not noticing that he was looking down her swimsuit. _

_"Well, you can't always get your way, Del." _

_The boy returned again. Ana once again bent down and gave it back to him._

_"I know that. He should have agreed with me, though."_

_This time, the boy brought two friends with him. Ana bent down, and suddenly realized why they kept coming back. The angry half-drow stood up. "Have a good look, you little perv?" Ana grabbed his arm. She dragged him to the edge of the lake and pushed him into the cold water._

_His friends ran over to him. "Dude, she touched you! How was it?"_

_"A-A-Awe-s-s-ome." He said through chattering teeth._

_Delilah chuckled as the seething Ana sat back down. "I think I'll talk to your mom about this. She's an expert on female dominance."_

_Ana shrugged. "Suit yourself."_

_XXXXX_

_"Aunt Nat, can I talk to you?" Delilah asked when she and Ana returned home. _

_Nathyrra smiled. "Of course, Del. What is it?"_

_"Well, I asked Sampson if he honestly thought my friend Hailey was hot and he said yes. I'm mad at him and I want him to agree with me."_

_"The world doesn't revolve around you, Del."_

_"Well HIS world should."_

_Nathyrra shook her head. "I've met Sampson before. You picked a strong man, Del. It takes time, but eventually they'll just get tired and stop arguing with you. For now however, you should pick battles that you CAN win." _

_Ano entered the room. He obtained a mug of beer and started to leave._

_"Watch this." Nathyrra looked at her husband. "Ano!"_

_He turned around. "Yeah, Kitten?"_

_"Will you go to the store and get me some coffee? We've run out."_

_He looked at the beer. "But it'll turn warm in the time it'll take me to go!" the dragon disciple whined._

_"Ano…" She gave him a pleading, pitiful, and pouting look._

_He sighed. "Damn." Ano put down his beer and grabbed the keys to the carriage._

_Delilah stared at her aunt, stunned. "That was amazing! How did you do that?"_

_"Years of practice. Now then, why don't you invite that boyfriend of yours over tomorrow and try it out." _

_XXXXX_

_"Okay, Sampson, I'm gonna give you one last chance to agree with me." Delilah said the next day._

_"I told you, Del. I think she's hot. You wanted me to be honest. Don't know what you're so worked up about." The tall teen ate another spoonful of ice cream._

_"Fine. I don't care anymore." Del looked over at Nathyrra. The drow nodded. _

_Delilah looked at Sampson. "Sammy, will you go to the store and get me a 'Teen Bard' magazine?"_

_He looked at his ice ream. "But it's gonna melt!" He cried._

_"Sampson…" She stuck out her lower lip in a pouting expression._

_The teen sighed. "Damn." He put down his ice cream and walked out the door._

_Del grinned. "It worked! Thanks, Aunt Nat!"_

_"No problem, Del."_

XXXXX

Nathyrra and Anotalex stood in front of their children. They all hugged each other.

"See you all next summer." AJ said.

Ana nodded. "We'll miss you."

The twins both got into a carriage. The academies were only five minutes away from each other, so they would take the six-hour drive together.

Nathyrra and Anotalex waved as they left. Eighteen years had been devoted to raising them, and both parents knew that their children would do incredible things. They watched the carriage fade into the distance, the beginning of the twins' own spectacular adventures.

AM: No, this series is not over. I have plans for a kotor II crossover, a Linu romance that takes place during that crossover, and an NWN 2 story with Del, Tam, and possibly Pliac. :D


End file.
